Only In Wisconsin
By Mitch Berg
Bear walks into liquor store, falls asleep in the beer cooler:
The bear stopped Friday night at Marketplace Foods in Hayward, about 140 miles northeast of Minneapolis, sauntering through the automatic doors and heading straight for the liquor department.
It calmly climbed up 12 feet onto a shelf in the beer cooler where it sat for about an hour while employees helped evacuate customers and summoned wildlife officials.
Officials from the Wisconsin Department of Natural Resources tranquilized the animal and took it out of the store.
So far, it’s almost like when Pack fans come to the dome – the “getting tranquilized and led out” bit, anyway.
But there’s evidence it wasn’t a Wisconsin bear after all:
Store workers say the bear seemed content in the cooler and did not consume any alcohol.
Also didn’t curse Brett Favre.
October 19th, 2009 at 12:25 pm
Probably waiting for the beer man to deliver Leinkugel’s Oktoberfest beer. Pretty good stuff.
October 19th, 2009 at 12:32 pm
can’t make it up. Too bad the bear didn’t drink, a drunk bear in WI. Ha… its almost too easy.
October 19th, 2009 at 12:35 pm
Funny, I didn’t hadn’t heard Michael Moore was in Wisconsin.
October 19th, 2009 at 12:47 pm
he’s here all week folks! But didja also hear about that Moose invasion last week Mitch up in ND? Ever go Moose hunting?
http://m.inforum.com/article.cfm?id=256338&tag=News
October 19th, 2009 at 1:29 pm
A M00se once bit my sister …
October 19th, 2009 at 2:03 pm
Mynd you, møøse bites Kan be pretty nasti…
October 19th, 2009 at 2:05 pm
Those responsible for the moose comments have been sacked.
October 19th, 2009 at 2:10 pm
This isn’t news. A whole bunch of Bears fell asleep in Wisconsin on September 13th. It was up in Green Bay.
October 19th, 2009 at 3:12 pm
Those responsible for sacking the people who have just been sacked, have been sacked.
October 19th, 2009 at 3:18 pm
Møøses’ noses wiped by BJØRN IRKESTØM-SLATER WALKER
Large møøse on the left hand side of the screen
in the third scene from the end, given a thorough
grounding in Latin, French and “O” Level
Geography by BO BENN
Suggestive poses for the Møøse suggested by VIC ROTTER
Antler-care by LIV THATCHER
October 19th, 2009 at 3:44 pm
What the hell happened to this thread?
October 19th, 2009 at 3:52 pm
A bunch of Monty Python and the Holy Grail fans found it.
Move along. I’ll take care of them.
(Pulls Pin)
One…two…five – er, three…
October 19th, 2009 at 4:26 pm
Was that a Holy Hand Grenade?
October 19th, 2009 at 6:03 pm
Nobody gets past the Black Knight! I fart in your general direction. Okay I’m done,
Couldn’t resist.
October 19th, 2009 at 7:21 pm
Mitch, you win. Hands down, the most perfectest quote given the context.
Does Ben float?
October 19th, 2009 at 8:45 pm
Oh, what sad times are these when passing ruffians can highjack a thread at will. There is a pestilence upon this land, nothing is sacred. Even those who arrange and design shrubberies are under considerable economic stress at this period in history.
October 20th, 2009 at 12:28 pm
King Arthur and his less-than-valiant knights retreat from a vicious man-killing bunny rabbit. As they try to formulate a strategy, Sir Robin the Chicken Hearted, who has already soiled his armor in fear, suggests, “Would it help to confuse it if we run away more?” Arthur replies by telling him, “Oh, shut up and go and change your armor.”