Joe Doakes from Como Park emails:

A former colleague was laid off last year, he’s been struggling. He writes:


Applied for a job with [unit of government name redacted]. Sorry, they needed a person of color to achieve diversity in the workforce.

Applied for a job with [downtown law firm name redacted]. Sorry, they needed a gay person.

Applied for a job with [corporate headquarters name redacted]. Sorry, they needed a woman.

Just once, I’d like to be judged on the content of my character.

I have a dream . . . .


Silly middle-aged White Male; dreams are for kids.

Joe Doakes

That’s so 1963…

6 thoughts on “Balance

  1. When I was unemployed a while back and was having trouble finding a job at the same level I had been working, I was wondering if I could pass myself off as a gay American Indian. Prove that I am not. I don’t look nor act nearly as white as Lizzy Warren.

  2. Wait a friggin’ minute. What is to stop this fellow from self-identifying as a black, lesbian midget? Who is going to question him?

  3. I remember reading an article 20 years ago that predicted if we continue down this affirmative action road that at some point there would need to be an official DNA template for blacks, for Indians. Gays might be more difficult. I guess you would have to perform a sex act in front of a judge to prove bona fide occupational qualification in that respect.

  4. Well, it WAS just a dream . . .

    Then reality whacks you upside the nose with a cold penis and says “you have to actually DO something if you want your dreams to succeed!”

    And, yes, cold penises can speak. Multiple languages, in fact.

  5. As far as race goes, the government is forbidden to question how you identify. They get around the American Indian question, though, by asking if you’re officially recognized as a member by certain tribal councils. They can’t do that if you claim you’re black, so they’re floundering around on that count right now (hint hint).

    These days I never fill out white. I always mark Other and put American because I’m a pretty proud mutt. I’ve know I’ve got American Indian from a great-great-grandma (tough to figure out since at the time they got married that was something you hid, not celebrated).

  6. It’s quite astonishing how government support and subventions for multiculturalism have enabled a resurgence of the indigenous populations of the Australian (island) state of Tasmania and the Canadian (island) province of Newfoundland, given that these peoples were completely and totally wiped out by disease and (to be fair) racist ethnic cleansing/genocide in the 19th century.

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