SCENE: Mitch BERG is setting up a grill on his porch, getting ready for a little pre-spring grilling. Victor VON-SCHLIEFFENBERG-MOLTKE pulls up, parks his car, and walks up the sidewalk to BERG’s porch.
VON-SCHLIEFFENBERG-MOLTKE: Hah, Berg! The GOP doesn’t have the guts to say anything like this:
BERG: So you’ve got what, here? A slick, cutesy meme about what the Libertarian Party would do, if it were in power?
VON-SCHLIEFFENBERG-MOLTKE: Yep! The GOP doesn’t have the balls to say anything of the sort!
BERG: Huh. I guess you’re right. But I’ve got a question for you.
BERG: Does the Libertarian Party have “the balls” to say anything like this?
MITCH BERG will save 8 TRILLION DOLLARS
by INSTANTLY PRIVATIZING THE ENTIRE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT!
WHILE SIMULTANEOUSLY DATING SCARLETT JOHANNSON AND JENNIFER LAWRENCE!
Has the Libertarian Party said anything like this yet?
VON-SCHLIEFFENBERG-MOLTKE: Well, no…
BERG: Statists! RINOs! Impure! Unable to talk the big-enough-talk!
VON-SCHLIEFFENBERG-MOLTKE: But…but…you can’t actually make any of that happen!
BERG: Right! And the Libertarian Party can’t make anything it says happen either. So go away and don’t come back until the Libertarian Party can talk really big!
VON-SCHLIEFFENBERG-MOLTKE glumly shuffles back to his car.