Attention, Blue Cross

By Mitch Berg

I will bike between 50-100 miles a week.

I’ll hit the gym 2-3 times a week.

I’ll walk the dog, weed the garden, windmill while playing my damn guitar.

But be advised that under no circumstances will I “Groove” anything.

Ever.

That is all.

15 Responses to “Attention, Blue Cross”

  1. Johnny Roosh Says:

    Thank you. That needed to be said.

  2. Lassie Says:

    But I bet you have their annoying “La la la la” earworm jingle as a parting gift. 😀

  3. golfdoc50 Says:

    That ad is about the STUPIDEST excuse for public health promotion. I’ll bet that under Obamacare your tax dollars will be used to produce more of the same. That’s the mindset of the health policy advisors in the current administration.

  4. Mitch Berg Says:

    STUPIDEST excuse for public health promotion

    Not as bad as those awful anti-smoking ads with throngs of young brownshirts yelling up at tobacco companies.

  5. LearnedFoot Says:

    Fortunately for you, there’s no need to “do” groove any more. Now they have a machine for it:

    http://us.dada.net/music/kingsx/groove-machine_983742m.html

    /Why yes, I do have Tapehead in heavy rotation on my iPod right now.

  6. Kermit Says:

    Let me see you move something.

  7. Margaret Says:

    Man I hate that man dancing in the fake fat suit commercial. Or being reminded that cavemen were healthier than I am. Why did they still die in their 20s then? And actually how do we even know that? I bet they had lots of intestinal parasites.

  8. Johnny Roosh Says:

    Let me see you move something.

    He moved ten fingers to write it.

    Groovy.

  9. tolowen Says:

    I GOTTA see that windmill thing 😉

  10. Chad The Elder Says:

    No need to worry Comrade Berg. Once the glorious People’s Care Plan is in place, the running dog capitalists at Blue Cross will no longer be oppressing you with their deceitful “Groove” advertising campaigns. Instead, you will be able to join your fellow citizens in the mandatory Morning Calisthenics Program For A Stronger Body & Nation. Patriotic music of the revolution will call you to exercise at 6am each morning (after the daily executions of the junk food criminals) and jump suits will be provided. We will all be healthy together.

  11. tolowen Says:

    Oh, Chad. Bite you’re tongue :-/

  12. Kermit Says:

    Patriotic music of the revolution interspersed with timely and informative messages from the Ministry of Information.

  13. Night Writer Says:

    But we’ve always been at war with Climate Deniers.

  14. willpower « My Rebirth Says:

    […] I hear my neighbor and one of my blogger friends  (daily read for me, check him out) talk about how they bike 50-100 miles a week and I think of what a lazy sod I’ve been. Do you like that? A little British term heehee. […]

  15. thorleywinston Says:

    Patriotic music of the revolution interspersed with timely and informative messages from the Ministry of Information.

    So long as the Minister of Information is the same one on “Kings” that might not be such a bad arrangement.

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