I know, I know. Barney’s irritating.
My apolitical friends hate Barney because of his relentless, up-beat cheeriness and, of course, the voice.
My “conservative” friends – or at least some of the ones that look too hard to find political significance in life’s pettiest minutuae – detest him because of his cushy, relentlessly PC world.
And truth be told, there’s much about Barney, the long-running PBS show for toddlers and pre-toddlers, that’ll drive you nuts. The music is relentlessly simple. The supporting cast – Baby Bop’s voice and sing-song delivery will drive you to cheap liquor, and the kids at the fictional daycare are, let’s just say, not gifted actors.
But my various friends and I all have one thing in common. We’re not two years old.
Too obvious? OK. Most of my Barney-hating friends and acquaintances had never spent a day at home with a pre-toddler.
It’s hard to explain to them; I owe that purple dinosaur my sanity.
Let me explain.
Years ago, when Bun was a baby, I was working nights. Her mother worked days. So during the day, I watched the baby. Indeed, Bun was a pretty active baby – so I didn’t do a whole lot but watch the baby. Bottles, diapers, doing stuff – there wasn’t a whole lot of time for luxuries and dissipations like going to the bathroom.
But every day, I could count on two half-hour breaks in the action, where baby Bun would be glued so firmly to the screen (also strapped so firmly into the Snugli) that I could go grab a glass of water and a quick (quick!) trip to the bathroom without fear of getting jolted to reality by a squall of screaming. Bun was mesmerized, which was thirty minutes of being tethered to the baby by 25 foot cable, rather than a three foot leash. Barney was on twice a day back then, and those two showings were my little rewards to myself that kept me going through the day.
So yep. I owe that dinosaur. Bigtime.
And whatever you want to say about the tone of the show (as an adult, and not the show’s audience), the theme song was the first song Bun ever learned. And there’s nothing in the world more cute than a toddler singing her or his first song – it wouldn’t matter if it were a Throbbing Gristle song. Although thankfully it wasn’t.
So anyway. Step off the dinosaur.
I cannot think of Barney without thinking of the Doom Barney mod. That was fun.
I have found the “Veggietales”, “Blues Clues”, and “The Backyardigans” to be head and shoulders above most little tyke programming. They can get under your skin too, but I can watch them and not fall asleep (most times), and sometimes the songs are so “good” they stick in your head.
*sings* Almost everything is boinga here …
Well, sure, Mitch, but you could have given her vodka and accomplished the same thing, with less brain damage. 🙂
The more problematic PBS kiddie fare is aimed at older kids. I don’t know if it runs any more, but there was a show that my kids watched called “Between the Lions,” that was designed to help kids read. They’d regularly feature such noted children’s authors as Pete Seeger. After all, what could be more wholesome fare for impressionable young minds than the deep thoughts of a old Commie troubadour.
I’m still waiting to find out if Tinkie Winkie really is gay.
My wife and I avoided the annoying dinosaur in the conventional way… the way any conservative would.
We simply didn’t show it to our boy, and instead showed him something that didn’t drive us completely nuts.
Thomas the Tank Engine is easily tollerable… and most of the narrators (Ringo Starr, George Carlin, Alec Baldwin, and the main voice for the series in England, Michael Angelis) are fun to listen too.
I particularly like hearing Baldwin say, “Edward is a useless, old steam pot… he should be retired.”
“Teen-Age Mutant Ninja Turtles” and “Duck Tales” were big with my oldest when she was little and I was doing the day-time daddy shift (though you might think the Ninja show would have been more in keeping with my youngest daughter). Veggie Tales and SpongeBob were a favorite of both later, and the Veggie Tales songs really did stick with them – so much so that they sang the “Water Buffalo” song at the Diva’s wedding last Saturday in honor of wedding guest and blogger Gino Ruffalo (some words were changed as you might imagine).
As for me, reports are that the first song I tried to sing as a young buckeroo was “Jambalaya” by Hank Williams (Sr., not Jr., which shows how old I am).
I remember Mitch parenting Bun when she was a little tyke; kudos to him, he did things like changing diapers with a certain panache. I was impressed by his committment to being a dad.
One of the occasions I most vividly remember from those days was a home made play pen to contain Bun when she was a very persistent, very stubborn little girl. Home made, I think by your former father in law if I remember correctly, because something sturdier than the commercial variety was a darn good idea, given her single-mindedness to exit ANY containment. After she had hauled herself up, and over, the side of said play pen, even though it meant she partially fell to the floor on the outside, she barely made a whimper, just dusted her self off, and was utterly pleased with herself for having gotten out to roam amongst the adults. Where she was SURE she more properly belonged, rather than in that darn BORING playpen.
Ultimately, Mitch, wiley parent, put her back in the play pen – but this time, with the play pen upside down. That was one ticked off Miss Bun, but she did stay put, FINALLY. For awhile, anyway. So, oh, can I speak from experience that Mitch is NOT exaggerating his parenting experience. No doubt, Bill H. can recall some of these events as well.
I don’t remember Bun having learned the Barney song as her first musical ‘cover’, but I do remember her singing along (sort of) and DANCING to entertain her father’s friends. She quite enjoyed being the center of all that grown up attention, and she would just beam when she could get us to applaud her efforts. I remember her serenading us with the first two thirds or so of the alphabet song as her earliest performance piece, but maybe that was just to entertain guests?
If la belle Bun is anything like as stubborn now as she was in those early years…. it definitely would not surprise me that Mitch remembers Barney fondly. Not so easy to find a benevolent teenage equivalent to that purple dinosaur, LOL!
We had a Backyardigans phase in our house, and it’s back in muted form. They are decent cartoons, innocent and very little, if any, preaching. Right now, the big one in our house (which has an older target audience, granted) is “Phineas and Ferb” on Disney Channel and Disney XD. It is a REALLY good cartoon. It has excellent music and writing, and they even throw in some references that adults will get, but will sail over kids’ heads.
http://phineasandferb.wikia.com/wiki/List_of_References_to_Pop_Culture#Star_Wars
Dare I say, it is even good viewing as an adult, if you’re ever in the mood to watch cartoons.
Oh yeah, and we avoided Barney the same way Badda did. It was a lot easier having access to kids’ stations on cable/satellite during the day, as opposed to only having PBS during the day.
We also showed the kid scenes from Pixar films.
Ah, Pixar… I love you.
If la belle Bun is anything like as stubborn now as she was in those early years….>/i>
Does this sound familiar: angry, crying snuffling 16 year old girl being forced to finish a high school assignment.
Parenting is NOT for the faint of heart.
flubbed tags. Sorry.
Purple and Green don’t go.
Stupid Dinosaur. No wonder they’re extinct.
…or was it the last round of man-made global warming?
Sorry Badda, but Thomas the Tank Engine is insufferable. The pacing is glacial and the characters are almost always grumpy, moody, and bitchy. We have a Thomas DVD that our inlaws gave us and my wife and I have both come to despise it.
Our eldest just started getting in Phineas and Ferb and it definitely has promise.
I know that it’s gotten a bad rep in some spots, but SpongeBob is easily the best written kids show today. No teachable moments, no hammer you over the head messages about diversity, the environment etc. Pure entertainment, the way cartoons should be.
Imagination Movers & The Mighty B are also good shows.
My worst list would include but not be limited to:
Dragon Tales
The Wonder Pets
Caillou
Yo Gabba Gabba
Fairly Oddparents
Sid The Science Kid
Max & Ruby
My Friends Tigger & Pooh
Dora and Diego can also be cringe inducing at times, but I’ve learned to make my peace with them.
A long time ago in a world far far away… I have to admit to a real fondness for Where in the “World is Carmen San Diego”. Rockapella & Lynn Thigpen. Geography & Humor. Sometimes quite challenging tests of knowledge. I think I still remember that song about the state capitals….
“Does this sound familiar: angry, crying snuffling 16 year old girl being forced to finish a high school assignment.
Parenting is NOT for the faint of heart. ”
Not at around our house. I don’t remember my parents ever even inquiring as to the status of my homework, ever. After about the age of 8, I don’t recall having a set bed time either, or limitations on tv watching, movies, or what I read.
We were expected to be on the honor roll EVERY quarter, in church every Sunday morning (and other times depending on age), to do certain chores around the house, when we were old enough – to have part time jobs, and we were expected to participate in extracurricular school activities and public service events. So long as we did that, no set bed times, and very very few restrictions on our social lives, which frequently went quite late – much later than any legal curfew. My parents knew the parents – the entire families – of my friends, and especially of anyone I dated, but so long as I complied with that requirement, they were pretty cool about it. I was a little surprised that they let me date college guys when I was only 16, but maybe less so given that I was accepted into college on my test scores the fall of my junior year of high school.
Arguments over clothing expenditures, that I remember; and over bogarting the keys to my mother’s car (which I got to pick out), THAT I remember.
My parents would probably have preferred those kinds of problems. Instead, they got problems like, oh, when I and the guy I was dating were the co-editors of the school paper, we got the entire school district sued by the McDonald’s corporation (yes, the golden starches McD’s).
A friend, president of the student body and fellow debate team member had gotten fired for a really really bad reason, so we did an expose with color photography (THAT took some wheeling and dealing to the budget) that resulted in a boycott that quickly extended beyond our school and cost the local franchise HUGE amounts of money, roughly 80% of their gross.
By the time my father found out about it, we were already off the hook – Mickey D’s would have had to take on Knight Ridder as well as our local school dist. Bless him, my father just sat me down and asked “Did he want to know? Did he need to know? How much is this going to cost, and did I need a lawyer?” to which I could honestly anser “no, not at this time” to all questions. Eventually he asked me “why?” later, short answer was they made me angry, longer answer they were really wrong, and I could do something about it. His only reply “I would prefer you not do it again. Please.” On several occasions I overheard my father speaking to friends make the statement that one should never ever get my sib AND myself angry at the same time, because we did things that no one could ever anticipate, when we were ticked off. I think we sometimes scared him, but that in a way he did enjoy it.
I think all in all, dad might have preferred to argue about homework, but… maybe not. The challenging thing about parenting seems to be that you have to play the hand you’re dealt, you don’t get to cherry pick the problems.
SpongeBob is easily the best written kids show…
…in hell.
Chad,
If you listen to Baldwin do some characters, they are often snide and bitchy… and it’s hillarious.
What’s more, some of the lines put through the “adult-filter” are double-hillarious.
Not at around our house.
She’s high-level autistic, Dog. Kinda like Peev, except sweeter.
I’m surprised Chad’s list didn’t include Captain Planet. A more insufferable example of juvenile brainwashing never was. It’s one reason my son is a carbon-spewing conservative today.
Barney is the barbed chancre-covered penis of Satan.
SpongeBob rocks.
I was pregnant with the Junior Logician at the height of the Barney craze. You could not go ANYWHERE without seeing that purple and green beast from H*LL. It was so omnipresent that by the time I hit the 3rd trimester, there was an all out BAN on that creature from my home…..
I still get flashbacks when I hear that song….
Ditto what Badda said about Thomas the Tank Engine. Ringo was my person favorite “Mr. Conductor” but I know what he means about Alec’s “snide bitchyness”. It was great. The down side of that was the collection of Thomas trains that littered our basement.
LL
I’m not sure if it was me who fueled my boy’s Thomas train collection, or my boy who fueled my Thomas train collection.
We still play with them a bit.