Out Of Both Ends Of Babes
By Mitch Berg
SCENE: Mitch Berg is at the pharmacy, refilling a painkiller prescription. He notices a tap on the shoulder. It’s Mr. Victor VON SCHLIEFFENBERG-MOLTKE, professional fraternity organizer, and Vice Chair for Education at the 5th CD Libertarian Party.
VON SCHLIEFFENBERG-MOLTKE: Hey, Berg!
BERG (holding an acheing jaw in dire need of a root canal): Hey, V-Molt.
VON SCHLIEFFENBERG-MOLTKE: What did we say about that?
BERG: Oh, OK. Hey, Viktor. What’s up?
VON SCHLIEFFENBERG-MOLTKE: You’re a Christian, right?
BERG: Yep.
VON SCHLIEFFENBERG-MOLTKE: Kurt Tischer said “Everyone is born an atheist and an anarchist. People have to be taught religion and statism.”
BERG: That’s an attack on faith, right?
VON SCHLIEFFENBERG-MOLTKE: Of course.
BERG: People are also born babbling unintelligibly, utterly self-centered, unable to live independently – without their family, which is the ultimate autocracy – and crapping and peeing all over the place. Are these also desirable traits?
VON SCHLIEFFENBERG-MOLTKE: Clearly you are a RINO.
BERG: Clearly.
(And SCENE).





February 18th, 2014 at 12:41 pm
Von Schlieffenburg-Moltke came around the right but was stopped by your shirt patterned in the Black Watch tartan, right?