Lead Me To Some Form Of Catch Basin

I usually try to keep my criticisms of lefties, and leftism, substantive and fact-based.

Being human, I occasionally resort to sarcasm, humor and snark.  And you know it’s part of the reason you come here, so don’t try and get cute about it.

Sometimes, the best I can manage is a point-by-point fisking.

But in almost seven years of blogging, this is the first time I’ve had to sit back, scratch my eyes, re-read something, and decide that simply presenting the offending material in its full, dim, foul glory is all the criticism that material needs.

And so I present Grace Kelly – local 9/11 Truther and cog in the local DFL machine.  Her particularly wide-eyed, fabulist brand of jackboot-with-a-smile liberalism has turned up on this blog a few times in the past.

But she’s outdone herself this time.  She has summed up the collective id of the Democrat base in this country, in much the same way Rain Man summed up the cards in the casino, and presented it to the world in the form of a poem.

Lead Us President Barack Obama

At a time of darkness, the light appears
- that light is President Barack Obama.

At a time when knowledge, skill and science was disdained, a champion of knowledge, skill and science has stepped forward
- that champion is President Barack Obama.

At a time when it seemed that only corporations and the rich were represented, a representative of people appeared
- that representative is President Barack Obama.

At a time of torture, a leader of morality appears
- that leader is President Barack Obama.

At a time when the world no longer respects us as country, a reason for respect appears
- that reason is President Barack Obama.

At a time of too many wars and too much violence, we look for the wisdom of peace and diplomacy,
- that wisdom is President Barack Obama.

At a time of great economic crisis, a president who leads comes,

lead us President Barack Obama, speak for us,
lay out your plan of action,

And we the people will say
YES. WE. CAN!

I’ve been staring at this for ten minutes.

Have at it, all.  I’ve got everything…and yet nothing.

UPDATE: An emailer sends:

At a time with no flushable toilets
a man invented such a toilet
And that man was Thomas Crapper

UPDATE 2: Another emailer:

At at time when freshness eluded us
a man made freshness attainable.
And that man was Irving Douchebag.

Keep ‘em coming!

UPDATE 3: The hits keep coming

At a time when bands’ names were lame, and balloons were merely toys
A man came a long and fixed both.
And that man was Count Von Zeppelin.

More!  More!

19 thoughts on “Lead Me To Some Form Of Catch Basin

  1. Hmmm…just embarassing. Like reading your own diary from 8th grade about the “cute” guy who you will love FOREVER and looking back you realize he was such a geek or delinquent and you wonder what kind of taste you had….oh and also, you hated your mom…she was so mean. Anyway, this gal will never be embarassed because it hasn’t happened yet to anyone on the left. We have 40+ years of their “experiments” on education, sex ed, welfare etc. and it’s all bad…do they care? No….we just need more of the same.

  2. At a time when abortion on demand was threatened
    We look for the one to say “no baby is above termination”
    That One is Barack Obama

  3. Mitch, I had to actually go to the site to see if you had made this up. I fear many things about a Obammy administration, but no the other hand, it will be entertaining.

    Kermit, that is Barry’s big focus. To see as many abortions as possible. If you know the story behind Obama’s birth, you would find some irony in that.

  4. At a time when Anoka County needed distinctive haircuts
    A mane man gave us business in the front and a party in the back
    And that man was Gary Mullet

  5. I have never been prourder of my country or of my fellow countrymen than I am today.

    I stand here, humbled by the greatness of our democratic experiment, humbled by the wisdom of its founders, and grateful for the fortune of my birth into it.

    I stand here with tears in my eyes, watching a wonderful, articulate, brilliant man take the oath of Office of the President of the United States.

    I know some find this faith, this exhultant joy, to be mysterious. They feel our faith is both unfounded, and grounded in a lack of fact or wisdom.

    [It continues... for, oh so long, as you knew it would.]

  6. Let me step out of periodic lurkerdom and take on my role as a “liberal” that I think Mitch can (usually) stand.

    Liberals are excited. They’ve been out of power for a long time, and the last time ended up in a windowless room. They’re giddy, they’re ecstatic, they’re … at times, just insufferable. But things are so bad right now they really don’t think they can possibly mess this one up. Consider:

    We have worsening relations with several well armed Moslem states, Vladimer Putin who seems hellbent on reassembling the Tsarist Empire out of the bits and pieces he inherited, an economy that is hardly functioning and will require the Treasury’s presses to roll, and a simmering social unrest between classes.

    The old Russian curse is, “May you live in interesting times”. Oh, yeah.

    Now, Liberals are (generally) an optimistic lot who believe that with a bit of smarts we can get out of any situation, no matter how bad. So they are eager to have a chance at it.

    You Conservatives have the great luxury of knowing that everything which is about to happen is definately not your fault. Savor that. Whoo-boy, that’ll taste good in a year or two.

    There were a lot of important things. All this time I’ve been telling people that in Amerca anyone can be anything got me some blank stares from people who thought I was dangerously naive, and now we have a black guy. It’s really important if for no reason other than it says, “We weren’t kidding”. There’s a lot of generational change going on. Puxsatawny Phil didn’t see his shadow … wait, that’s one of the more delusional “hope” thangs.

    Anyways, the great wheel of history is turning. If the ride, or a blog post, makesyou feel like you have to puke over the tailgate, go right ahead.

    O-bama you so fine,
    You so fine you blow my mind,
    Hey-bama!

  7. At a time when off-topic conversations were few and far between,
    A complete douchebag brought an ass-load of nonsensical drivel with hardly any coherent thought

    That complete douchebag was Penigma, the Pernicious Peev.

  8. Wabbitoid,

    I disagree.
    I think that implying that just because a person is standing next to the railroad tracks when the trains collide that the person caused the wreck is not valid.

    Please allow me to take on my role as a conservative and pose several questions:

    If someone other than GW Bush had been president for the last eight years, would Putin be acting any differently ? Or Mahmoud Ahmadinejad in Iran ?

    If the “the great wheel of history is turning”, how is it possible to fairly and evenly evaluate any president since you’re implying that the parameters on which we judge are constantly changing ?

    For that matter how can one judge a man in a historical context who has been been President for 48 hours ?

    If “anyone can be anything” why would there be “simmering social unrest between classes” ?

    But, time to bide my time until Sen Tom Coburn (R-OK) becomes wins the Presidency in 2012…

  9. You ought to post more often, Wabbitoid. You sound like someone who can have a respectful disagreement. Too little of that in the world.

  10. Sure, anyone can become anything, as long as the money to do it with comes re-distributed from above.

  11. I’m not wabbitoid, but I would like to address one of the questions raised by “Just Me”.

    Yes, I think that had we not had “W” in the white house the last eight years, we would not have had the war in Iraq. Had we not had that war, but instead chosen another way to address the problems of Saddam, we might have been able to avoid the kind of destruction and destabilization of the region which has in part empowered Ahmadinejad. For all of his loathsome qualities, Iraq with a functioning government did act as a check on Iran. No, I don’t wish Saddam were still in power, but I do think we could have found a better way to deal with Iraq that was less destructive (to them AND to us), less costly in lives and money, and which would have left both the Iraqis and the US coalition in a better position.

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