Obama to Create Thirty-Two Million Jobs by 2011

Barack Obama has outlined his plans to create jobs in America via speeches during his inspiring campaign and his calming and reassuring tone as Occupier of the Office of the President Elect.

As economic conditions have evolved and Obama’s confidence in his magical powers has grown, he has revised his goals and ambitions for job creation over the past year.

In an effort to be a progressive source of economic guidance and as a public service, we have gathered and cataloged the President-Elect’s “Job” Creation Goals as outlined in his many and factual addresses to the nation.

Using the same mathematics and economic theory* employed by Obama’s advisers and cutting-edge spreadsheet technology, we have analyzed and extrapolated Barack Obama’s “job” creation predictions.

Here is a sampling of the data and its sources (emphasis mine-JR):

Feb 13, 2008 WASHINGTON – Democrat Barack Obama said Wednesday that as president he would spend $210 billion to create jobs in construction and environmental industries, as he tried to win over economically struggling voters.

Obama’s investment would be over 10 years as part of two programs. The larger is $150 billion to create 5 million so-called “green collar” jobs to develop more environmentally friendly energy sources.

December 24th, 2008 Dec. 24 (Bloomberg) — President-elect Barack Obama is still four weeks away from inauguration, and already the size of government is growing. His initial goal of creating 2.5 million new jobs has been upped to 3 million, rising in lockstep with a proposed economic stimulus package.

We know money buys influence. Now we find out it can buy jobs as well.

If only it were that simple.

Jan 10, 2008 Jan. 10 (Bloomberg) — President-elect Barack Obama said his two-year plan to boost the U.S. economy will generate up to 4 million jobs, higher than his previous estimates, the biggest portion of them in construction, manufacturing and retail.

Here is our analysis:

As you can see, by this time next year, Barack Obama will have predicted the unprecedented creation of over 32 Million Jobs by the end of 2011. This is cause for great rejoicing and a renewed confidence in our political system.

The surplus of new jobs will actually allow many workers to choose more than one, although experts predict an executive order will limit job selection to two per worker and three per household for American citizens and  three per worker and five per household for illegal aliens undocumented workers that can document a contribution to the Obama ’08 campaign.

We will revise our estimates as new data is made available to us via the media.

*Hopey Changey©

9 thoughts on “Obama to Create Thirty-Two Million Jobs by 2011

  1. Green collar jobs! I want one! Heck, I even have my own green collar, so I’m pre-qualified!

  2. I noted here that Obama’s budget blueprint is “All the Rhetoric Without the Details.” Obama is the most risk-averse politician I’ve ever seen, even worse than Jimmy Carter.

  3. Green collar jobs! I want one! Heck, I even have my own green collar, so I’m pre-qualified!

    I’m wearing a green polo shirt right now. I’m going to check and see if the money has been wired to my account. You may already be a winner, Kerm!

  4. Spending a trillion dollars to create 4 million jobs works out to $250,000 per job.

    Terry, Terry, Terry. Silly Terry.

    Liberals don’t use simple math!

  5. Can this guy possibly any more ignorant? I’ve said many times that he is 100% economicaly illiterate. Can this dufus even balance his own checkbook? Does he not now that the gov’t cannot create one job?

  6. Take a trillion bucks. Find four million working Americans aged 60 who will take a quarter million bucks in exchange for retiring now.
    4 million jobs created just like that.
    Damn I should be running the country.

  7. Likely a substantial number of the jobs will be minimum wage. “Would you like fries with that burger”?

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