(SCENE: at the offices of “Minnesotans United for All Social Progressive Causes”, a modest little 501c4 non-proft in the Griggs Building in Saint Paul, located on a hallway close by “Take Action Minnesota”, “ProtectMN” and a who’s who of other Minnesota social activism non-profits supported by liberals with deep pockets. Moonbeam BIRKENSTOCK and Avery LIBRELLE are sitting at Ikea desks across the aisle from each other. BIRKENSTOCK looks depressed).
LIBRELLE: What’s the matter, Moonbeam?
BIRKENSTOCK: Oh, the usual. Just worried about job security.
BIRKENSTOCK: Well, work in the non-profit field depends on having another cause that progressives with deep pockets are willing to pour big money into.
BIRKENSTOCK: And in a matter of two years, we not only stopped the Marriage Amendment, but passed Gay Marriage.
BIRKENSTOCK: Right, yay. But that’s a cause that should have taken years. Like abortion – that’s been a steady gig for progressive activists for a couple of generations now.
BIRKENSTOCK: But with the issue now a non-issue, that’s that many fewer jobs for people like us.
LIBRELLE: Well, you could always sign on with Heather, down the hall at “ProtectMN”. Lotsa money going into that group soon.
BIRKENSTOCK: I thought about that. But I’d have to deal with all those gun people.
LIBRELLE: Oh, yeah. I hear you. They never just shut up and realize that they’re wrong.
BIRKENSTOCK: Well, there’s that. But it also depends on Heather not screwing the whole thing up.
(Both look at each other and break into laughter)
LIBRELLE: OK, point taken.
BIRKENSTOCK: It’s just that gay marriage was a major income generator for people like us. I’m just afraid that some of us – maybe me, maybe some other Macalester poli-sci grad with no marketable job skills – might have to go out on…on…
LIBRELLE: Say it…
LIBRELLE: You’re among friends.
BIRKENSTOCK: The private sector. (Chokes back a sob)
LIBRELLE: Hug it out.
(The two trade hug. BIRKENSTOCK sobs softly)
(Door opens and Gretel STROMBERG, Executive Director of MUFASPC, walks into the room carrying a thick file of paper).
STROMBERG: Hey, everyone.
BIRKENSTOCK: (un-hugging, sniffling a little) Hi, Gretel
STROMBERG: Why the long face?
BIRKENSTOCK: It’s the way I was born… (Resumes sobbing)
LIBRELLE: I think it’s a figure of speech, Moonbeam. (To STROMBERG) We were just talking about how there might be fewer jobs in advocacy now that gay marriage is a done deal.
STROMBERG: What? Oh, you two sillies. Not a chance.
BIRKENSTOCK: (stops sobbing) Huh?
LIBRELLE: What’s up?
STROMBERG: Oh, have no fear. We have a new cause.
BIRKENSTOCK: (Looks at papers). Wow.
STROMBERG: It’s all about love. We don’t discriminate against love.
BIRKENSTOCK and LIBRELLE: We don’t discriminate against love.