We Can Call It The “Pony Bottle Express”
By Mitch Berg
Joe Doakes from Como Park emails:
In response to the legislature’s anticipated 600% tax increase on beer, I’m starting an express delivery service running between Hudson, Wisconsin and St. Paul. Please post this Want Ad on Shot In The Dark:
“Wanted, young, daring fellows, must be over 18 and expert driver, willing to risk death daily. Orphans preferred.”
Joe Doakes
Como Park
Might just solve that teenage unemployment problem.
May 15th, 2013 at 2:40 pm
Hit the liqour store on the south end of downtown. Great prices anyway.
Then go to Republican (or libertarian) Mills Fleet Farm up over the hill to purchase some ammo and mixed nuts. And complete your day by stopping Wal-Mart.
May 15th, 2013 at 2:42 pm
And don’t forget when Duluth liquor store owners tried to get the police to stop cars coming over from Superior and search them to see if they were carrying more booze than legally allowed (like 1 case).
May 15th, 2013 at 3:05 pm
Hey, in Wisconsin we may have a higher income tax but (for now at least, who knows what the DFL will end the session with) at least we can get beer cheaper than you chumps in the cities.
May 15th, 2013 at 3:54 pm
Keep in mind that this is a little over a quarter per six pack. You’re going to need to do some serious business with that pony express to make ends meet.
(now hard liquor, on the other hand….there’s your profit margins)
That said, the Dayton tax proposals are starting to look like “death by a thousand cuts.” Good grief. And personally, I think they ought to be taxing kombucha at about $100/bottle. Governor Messinger can afford it.
May 15th, 2013 at 5:56 pm
Gunboats in the St. Croix.
May 16th, 2013 at 6:28 am
Speed; do they even make those anymore? 🙂
May 16th, 2013 at 6:40 am
This will turn into a cottage tourism industry for Wisconsin. We’ve always had thousands of Minnesotans making the annual summer trip to get fireworks, now they can add a big liquor stock up as well.
May 16th, 2013 at 1:17 pm
Beer is already cheaper in Wisconsin (by quite a bit). And don’t forget the sales tax. 5.5% on booze in Wisconsin. While its 9.5-10.5% in Minnesota.
Good point on the fireworks. I wonder if we will see more roadside liquor stores catering to Minnesotans.
May 16th, 2013 at 5:50 pm
Although, unless you live in Stillwater, what with gas at $4/gallon, beer needs to be quite a bit cheaper in WI to make the trip pay.
May 17th, 2013 at 12:30 am
Good point mnbubba. Mitch, how much booze and fireworks can you carry on your bike? Or can you perhaps tow a small trailer?
May 17th, 2013 at 12:20 pm
The other great news for smugglers is a $1.23/pack increase in the cigarette tax. So Mitch and I will be pulling “Burley” trailers loaded down with heaters and Leinie’s. Gotta love it. :^)