Top Ten Benefits Of Same Sex Marriage Passing

So after yesterday’s passage in the House, it looks like gay marriage is a shoo-in.  The Senate will pass it like diarrhea through a bum’s lower GI tract, and Governor Messinger will sign it, possibly by Tuesday.

I’ve said it a million times; gay marriage means different things to me.  As a small-l libertarian, I don’t know that there’s not a case for allowing two consenting adults to sign a contract.  As a Christian, I think same-sex marriage is like playing tennis without rackets; it sort of misses the point of what marriage is, at least as I understand it.   As a member of a political minority in a place where the majority is deeply authoritarian, I think it’s just a matter of time before the state’s bureaucracy and an aggressive and recession-ravaged plaintiff’s bar starts suing people – photographers, bakers, tailors – who won’t work with gay couples, and eventually churches that demur.   As a divorced guy, I think “what the f**k are you gays thinking?  Gays have more disposable income per capita than breeders; a few years of exposure to the legal industry should bring you back down to earth”.

But this post isn’t about bad news.  This post is about finding the bright side of gay marriage in Minnesota.

To wit:  the Top Ten Benefits of Same Sex Marriage’s eventual enactment:

Bonanza!: My friends in the Family Law business are going to be able to upgrade their vacation plans!  Gays currently earn more than breeders, per capita; that’ll change now.

Won’t Bakk Down!:The DFL loses a wedge issue; since gays can now marry, the DFL is going to have to find another small, aggrieved, but wealthy and influential minority with an injustice to flog.  They don’t grow on trees.

The Honeymoon Is Over, And Cost A Metric Poo-ton!:  Gays can stop futzing over “Marriage” and start wondering where the hell all their tax money is going.  Now that their value as a wedge is nearly exhausted (“bullying” is going to play out pretty quick, here), it’ll be time for Gay Minnesota to figure out its political future.

The Battle Is Over, And We’re In A Metric Poo-Ton Of Doo-Doo!:  Republicans can stop futzing with marriage and start wondering where in the all their tax money and their political future is.

Walk On The Wild Side!:  Now, committed middle-class Christians can start learning civil disobedience, ignoring state marriage licensing.

 Snap Back To Reality!:  Whatever social costs may be related to gay marriage, at least we’ll be able to bring an end to the deeply stupid meme of the “Magic Gay Couple”.  You know the meme; they’re more loving, more stable, better parents, just plain better people than all of us breeders.  And truth be told, there may have been something to that; since gay couples need to adopt to have kids (until a future lawsuit fixes all that defective biology), they have to show the various adoption bureaucracies that they are indeed better than the average couple.  I’ll give them – and even breeder couples that adopt – that much.  But now that any Tom, Dick and Harry can marry (but only two at a time, for now!), maybe gay couples will be relieved of the burden of having to be perfect, and start racking up domestics and walking through the line at Walmart Kowalski’s in sweatpants and a greasy t-shirt at 2AM like the rest of us mere mortals.

Let’s Play Football!:  Chris Kluwe can get so focused on his punting now.

Back Of The Bus!:  The African-American community – which was even less favorably disposed to gay marriage than the mainstream white evangelical community – now has further evidence that the DFL wants them to shut up and sit at the back of the bus until they’re called on – on election day.

Honesty Can Prevail!:  The DFL can stop pretending to care about gays. The Teamsters and SEIU can go back to beating them up like back in the day.

A Learning Opportunity!:  The interesting thing about this debate was that the best debating on the behalf of gay marriage was done by libertarian conservatives, who made the libertarian and, to a degree, conservative case that there’s no reason to keep consenting adults out a contractual system that the other 98% of the the population gets.  The left’s argument – especially on the “Lefty Street”, the thousands of “progressive” bobbleheads who turned out to chant and eventually vote – ran more along the lines of “you are teh bigot!”.  So now that they’ve won, perhaps the left can put some of that extra energy into teaching their young adherents the rudiments of logic.  Unless, of course, having masses of stupid, smug, ignorant, sloganeering, chanting-bot followers is exactly what they want.

Hmmm.

So congrats, gays!

CORRECTION:  House, not Senate.  You seen one group of extreme liberal dogmatists, you’ve seen ’em all.

17 thoughts on “Top Ten Benefits Of Same Sex Marriage Passing

  1. Correction needed. The House passed it yesterday. Not the Senate. The Senate is expected to pass it faster then sh*t through a goose. Just saying.

  2. And further proof that the biggest idiots in the world work in academia……yesterday. Two editorials. Mpls paper had a St Thomas law professor saying clueless Kluwe was cut because he spoke out in favor of gay marriage. Seveal smart commentators noted that unlike college professors, NFL players don’t get tenure, so actually have to show results.

    And St Paul paper, UofM law professor said there has never been one case of a Christian owned business attacked due to not support gay marriage. Apparently his TAs are off this week, otherwise they could have done his research for him and found examples like Chik-fa-la, Match.com, flowership in Wash state, B&B in a couple of states, cupcake store in Cleveland, photographer in Arizona. And on and on and on. Or the big one…FRC on DC. Gay rights activist went in there to kill everyone of the staff and then smear their faces with Chik-fa-la sandwiches.

  3. Chuck, I read the opinion from the St. Thomas prof who was talking about how enlightened his employer is because it values and welcomes debate. I made a comment that Desmond Tutu, Star Jones and Tommy valedictorian who espoused Catholic doctrine on premarital sex during his address might “debate” that point. Assuming, of course, they ever got the chance.

  4. Breeders? Really Mitch? Down here in the land of the free we prefer to be called normal human beings.

    Thats Chick-fil-a to you Sir.

  5. I seem to remember opponents of the marriage amendment arguing that it wasn’t necessary, because we already had a law against this. Lying progeny of unmarried parents.

    Methinks that maybe, just maybe, the legislature ought to be required to muster a supermajority to overturn a referendum result. Just sayin’.

  6. Waiting for the day when the new authoritarians enforce anti-discrimination laws against halal bakeries/caterers that refuse to prepare food for same-sex weddings.

  7. Mom, I wouldn’t be worrying about bakeries. You and dad are in for a big surprise when you try and remove Jr. from the new “anti-bullying” curriculum being re-written in light of the legislature’s capitulation.

    Google “out for equity”…been taught in SPPS for 10 years. Revised edition is gonna be a doozy. And opting your kid out? Well that will get the police involved..Think I’m kidding?

    Already happening.

    http://www.lifesitenews.com/news/archive/ldn/2005/apr/05042910

  8. Apparently bullying is not bullying if it is done by the correct bullies, eh swiftee?

    Makes me sick.

  9. Maybe it will make people sick enough to do something about it, Bill. Trouble is, it’s already too late in Minnesota. I don’t see daylight there anywhere.

    That’s why I take a highly intolerant stance to lefties and all the baggage they drag behind them here in SC. Fact is, I shut ’em down, and hard. I admit it’s not that difficult here, and I have a lot of company; but so did rational people in Minnesota at one time.

  10. Is there any reason why a same-sex couple of 1st cousins shouldn’t be able to marry?

  11. Nothing a few years of groundwork laying in public schools couldn’t handle Tom. But I’m guessing we’ll see “polyandry 101” first, and next.

  12. Here’s a query:

    An ordained minister who has filed his credentials with the County is deputized to perform marriages. He’s a government agent for that purpose.

    Suppose said minister opposes gay marriage and doesn’t want to perform them. Supposedly, the new law will never make him; but then again, Hubert Humphrey promised to eat his hat. So let’s say our minister is skeptical.

    Can he be an ordained minister in his faith and perform unions in the eyes of God, but NOT be an agent of the State of Minnesota to grant marriage certificates? How does he go about giving up his power to perform government marriages?

  13. Being the thoughtful conservative you are swiftee, your ideas about education reform should have resonated with voters in SSP. Perhaps a run for school board in SSP might have had an impact. Oh wait….

  14. So the SPPS board, and by extension the school board voters, are doing great now? So great, in fact, that their not electing swiftee reflects badly on _him_? Really? Emery, if this is you trying to be snarky, you’re doing it wrong.

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