My Hobby
By Mitch Berg
Answering spam emails:
From: Carl Catlin <ccatlin[redacted]@yahoo.com>
To: [Me]
Sent: Monday, April 29, 2013 2:56 PM
Subject: Philippines Trip(Sad News)……..Carl Catlin
Just hoping this email has reached you well, I’m sorry for this emergency and for not informing you about my urgent trip to Manila, Philippines but I just have to let you know my present predicament.
Everything was fine until I was attacked on my way back to the hotel, I wasn’t hurt but I lost my money, bank cards, mobile phone and my bag in the course of this attack. Immediately contacted my bank in order to block my cards and also made a report at the nearest police station.
I’ve been to the embassy and they are helping me with my documentation so i can fly out but I’m urgently in need of some money to pay for my hotel bills and my flight ticket home, will definitely REFUND as soon as back home .
Kindly let me know if you would be able to help me out so I can forward you the details required for a wire transfer.
Waiting to hear back from you..
Sincerely,
Carl
My response:
Carl,
Bubbie! Sorry to hear about your predicament.
I’d love to help, since I just know you’re good for the money.
Sorry to say, though, that we’re birds of a feather as always. I, too, am in the Philippines, sightseeing near Manila, in the city of Las Piñas. And I, too, was waylaid by ruffians. Six of them.
I killed the first five – two with my bare hands. The six, I let go, as is – as you’re well aware, my old friend – my wont.
As the sixth ran away, a Philipino policeman walked up to me to take the report. As the sixth yegg ran toward the horizon, the policeman asked me if I was up for a wager; could I hit the blackguard?
Well, the ne’er-do-well was nearly 300 yards away, and I had a little .380 pistol, but you know how I like a bet – and what happens in Las Piñas stays in Las Piñas! So I went all-in – all the money I had.
Well, I choked, and it took me two shots to fell the miscreant. But a bet is a bet.
So I’m afraid I’m not only a tad short at the moment, but in the same boat you are.
Sorry about that. Drat the luck!
Your friend,
Mitch
I’m dying to see the response.
April 30th, 2013 at 8:14 am
I received an email like that but it never occurred to me to reply as you did. All I did was call the friend on the telephone and ask what he was doing in Italy, since he was needed here running his new business. I also advised him to change the password on his Yahoo mail account so that this kind of fraud wouldn’t be going to any more people in his address book.
April 30th, 2013 at 3:26 pm
LOL! This reminds me of two brothers that I read about a few years ago that were eager to help Mr. Oboku Abodango spirit his $50 million bucks out of Nigeria. These clever chaps sent Mr. Abodongo on wild goose chases to banks that turned out to be hundreds of miles from where Mr. A lived. The brothers reported that the messages from him got “angrier in tone” with each of their excuses as to why the bankers didn’t know them. Finally, he disappeared, out of frustration no doubt.
April 30th, 2013 at 3:52 pm
Reminds me of a series I read years ago by “Brad Christensen”, an early pioneer in the teasing of con men:
http://www.quatloos.com/brad-c/directory01.htm