The Car The People have been Waiting For®
By Johnny Roosh
Financial system events of late provide only a glimpse of the worldwide economic collapse that will be brought on by a capitulation of global equity markets if Barack Obama realizes a successful Presidential bid and unleashes the full faith and credit of the Socialist Party. In anticipation, American automotive enthusiasts are encouraged to recalibrate their choice of daily conveyance.
Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you the Citroen 2CV.
The 2CV celebrates its 60th birthday during the Paris Motor Show, on 7 October 2008. To celebrate the event, Hermes has designed a made-to-measure outfit that highlights the vehicle’s ever-friendly and generous forms.
The 1989 2CV 6 Spécial, repainted in brown, gains a natural leather trim on the door facings, interior rearview mirror, gear knob, steering wheel and driver’s sun visor. For an even more elegant finish, the two seats are upholstered in Hermès grey-beige cotton canvas and natural leather. As a finishing touch, the bonnet and interior trim at the rear of the vehicle also feature Hermès cotton canvas.
Like the Automobile that marked the other end of America’s industrial and economic world dominance, Henry Ford’s Model T, the 2CV is available in any color you like. As long as, in this case, it is brown.
Exhilarating is one word that one might imagine could possibly come to mind considering the power under the bonnet. The little engine that could, a SOHC 602cc Twin, breathes easy through a twin-choke carburetor and churns out an adequate 29 horsepower at 6,750 rpm. The 2CV’s 5.3 Gallon gas tank allows for a full week’s ration!
Need to put on the binders? Sturdy drum brakes in the rear, and in a generous government factory upgrade since 1981, you’ll enjoy disc brakes in the front.
A comfortable but durable rear bench will allow for catnaps between your day job, wherewith you feed your children and pay the rent on your government-owned town home and your night job wherewith you pay your United Nations Income Tax, Grocery Loans and Global Warming Assessment.
Savor the nostalgia of a vehicle introduced to the world in 1948; your very own piece of history! Enroll now for subsidized 96-month financing offers and neighborhood Carshare Agreements via government lottery selection.
Citroen. The Car The People have been Waiting For®
October 10th, 2008 at 9:18 am
“The 2CV’s 5.3 Gallon gas tank allows for a full week’s ration!”
Allows for more than a full week’s ration. It’s made in France, for crying out loud! Engines only burn gas when they work!
October 10th, 2008 at 9:34 am
Well said, Mr. Shirt. As for me, I’ll stick with my Schwinn, which has slightly better crash test scores, and definitely has better acceleration.
October 10th, 2008 at 10:25 am
One word……….YUK !!!!!!
October 10th, 2008 at 10:55 am
I’ve been trying to find a picture of the electric car that State Senator Terri Bonoff featured in the Plymouth parade.
It made that Citroen look like the Family Truckster.
The 600 mile round trip to her family cabin would require about a dozen charges.
October 10th, 2008 at 11:54 am
I’ll race you anytime in my Trabant!
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Trabant
October 10th, 2008 at 1:02 pm
I’ll never forget one of these clunkers trying to ascend the Gudvangen road to Stalheim off one of the southern arms of the Sognefjord in Norway. The driver would only make it a few hundred yards, if that, and be forced to back down. Each time he gave up, a few cars would pass him with shouts and curses. We were far enough back in the traffic jam caused by the foolhardy driver of this little gem that we got to see him head back to the ferry stop to find another route, with a less steep grade. I always thought these cars looked like the attempt of a home handyman to copy a Volkwagen Beetle in his garage with plywood.
October 10th, 2008 at 1:06 pm
I love deux chevaux vapeur! It is a coolest non-cool car – EVER! It is a sardine can on wheels, no offence to sardine cans everywhere ’cause they are faster. And 2CV has the neat joystick in the car that swivels the headlamps so you can peer around the corner and take precautions not to tip over in case the ground is not level. Face it – it is the ulltimate baggette car, and the one that spawned the “S” licence plate joke.
October 10th, 2008 at 1:12 pm
Just think, all that Marshall Plan money spent rebuilding the French automotive industry!
October 10th, 2008 at 1:37 pm
Now, now. Citroen also gave us Deesse (DS19). Probably the coolest cool car – ever. And don’t get me started on Renault and Peugeot jems. Remember LeCar?
October 10th, 2008 at 3:22 pm
In the race between the Citroen and the Trabant, I pick the Citroen because it has the “turbo” option of putting your feet through the floorboard Flintstone-style for extra power. The Trabant, though, does have the chance of the fenders falling off, reducing weight by about one and a half pounds, improving performance. (A Trabant does play a leading role, however, in one of my favorite movies: “Everything is Illuminated”).
As for Renault’s “LePuke” – a fresh, hot dome of Jiffy Pop had a higher crash-test rating. It’s advantage, though, was that Bike Bubba could tow it to the shop on his Schwinn, as long as the bumper didn’t pull off.
October 10th, 2008 at 3:52 pm
One of the scariest nights of my life was a late-night drive through downtown Reutlingen with a young German woman who’d just gotten her drivers license. We were in a Citroen (a slightly later model than the 2CV, althought only chronologically). We were tearing around corners in the dark with that curious european aplomb, wheels squalling – when I noticed that the shift lever entered the driver’s compartment through a long, half-inch metal tube with sharp, bare edges. Perfect for impaling anyone sitting in the middle of the back seat.
I remember reading the Reutlingen newspaper the next morning and seeing the aftereffects of a different crash (earlier that day) between a Citroen and one of the French AMX personnel carriers that prowled the area. Not that any car would have held up well against a 20 ton armored vehicle, but the Citroen was wadded up like kleenex.
October 10th, 2008 at 6:22 pm
I’m surprised Clownie let Roosh take pictures of his car.
October 10th, 2008 at 8:52 pm
That’s like a clown limo… Clownie can’t afford clown limos.
October 13th, 2008 at 10:33 am
NW, I’m glad you didn’t know a college roommate of mine, who owned a breakdown-prone LeCar. I’d have been looking like Lance Armstrong or Greg LeMond after what he would have put me through. :^)
Or maybe that wouldn’t have been so bad after all…..