While I Am Crushingly Busy Today…
By Mitch Berg
…with my actual day job, I’m bidden to note that today is “National Talk Like A Pirate Day“.
So without any further ado, I will talk like a Pirate.
“I wish management would spend some money so we can get out of the NL Central cellar during our natural lifetime”.
I’m not sure that it warrants a whole national day, but I’m not the one that makes these decisions.
September 19th, 2008 at 11:45 am
A pirate walks into a bar and the bartender says, “What happened, you look terrible!”
“Arrr. Waddya mean?” the pirate replies.
The bartender says, “But what about that wooden leg?”
“Arr” says the pirate, “We wuz in a battle off the coast of Tortuga and a cannon ball took me leg off. Arr.”
“Yeah,” says the bartender, “But what about that hook, pirate dude?”
“Arrr,” says the pirate, “I wuz in a sword fight in a raid on Kingstown and me hand was cut off but the surgeon fixed me up with this here hook.”
“Oh,” says the bartender, “What about that eye patch?”
“Arr,” says the pirate, “One day when I wuz walking on the beach. I heard a seagull. I looked up, and blast me, just then the the seagull shat right into me eye! Arr.”
“So?” replied the bartender, “what happened? You couldn’t have lost an eye just from some bird shit!”
“Arr,” says the pirate, “Ya’ see, I really wasn’t used to the hook yet.”
September 19th, 2008 at 1:03 pm
From the Gilligan’s Island episode with the pirates dream…
CAPTAIN KIDD: Ar! Did he give you that scar!?
CAPTAIN HOOK: Did that myself.
LONG JOHN SILVER: You did dat your self!?
CAPTAIN HOOK: I had an itch, and I forgot!
September 19th, 2008 at 2:28 pm
“Fetch me brown trousers!”
September 19th, 2008 at 2:55 pm
Here’s my contribution:
“Can we get some federal help here? Our company is too big to fail!”
September 19th, 2008 at 3:20 pm
Arr…get me a fresh cabin wench!
September 19th, 2008 at 4:43 pm
How about Sandra Bernhardt?
September 19th, 2008 at 4:43 pm
(I wouldn’t touch that with somebody else’s dick.)
September 20th, 2008 at 7:56 pm
That was pretty funny Mitch. Made me smile.
My comment, “I sure wish Jason Bay had wanted to stay – we surely do suck without him. When do the Steelers start playing?”