With A Nod To Jeff Kouba…
By Mitch Berg
…a “column I didn’t finish” – one I found so atrociously bad I had to bail out in mid-stream (and not in the bad, AIG, taxpayers-funding-stupidity sense, but in the “save a few precious minutes of life” kind of way).
Garrison Keillor in the Strib:
I saw two moose on a bike trail in Anchorage last week and did not kill either one of them, neither the cow nor her calf, though under the Bush Doctrine I certainly had a right to, since the cow could have charged and pinned me to a tree and danced me to death.
The moose would have gotten off on rhetorical self-defense.
September 17th, 2008 at 7:00 am
On the other hand, it looks like Garrison Keillor might just have a more thorough grasp on the Bush Doctrine than Charlie Gibson. It’s still nonsensical babbling, but still….
Oh, and I’ve been to Wasilla — anyone who tells you it’s just a bunch of fast food joints and gawdy suburban trappings is either lying or makes his living looking down his nose at things he detests. Thankfully Keillor fills both roles here.
September 17th, 2008 at 7:20 am
The same Garrison Keillor that opined at Salon.com that Minnesota voters were incredibly stupid.
September 17th, 2008 at 10:45 am
Oh please. He was on a bike trail? Doing what, exactly? And under the “Bush doctrine” not to mention the normal right to self defense, he could shoot the cow, should it attack. Pretty sure standing there, ignoring him while eating and taking care of her calf doesnt count as justification. The fact he thinks so makes him a WARMONGER!!!!
September 17th, 2008 at 11:54 am
Mitch,
How dare you make such an off-topic post when YOUR president has fouled the waters of democracy, tainted the image of our once proud nation, sneezed in our economic hands and then shaken hands with the working man, and farted in the car while we were driving our constitutional grandmother on a trip to the future?
How DARE you!
September 17th, 2008 at 12:38 pm
Badda…that IS funny!
September 17th, 2008 at 1:23 pm
Indeed.
September 17th, 2008 at 3:46 pm
Badda Peev!
I’m glad Old Scout survived. Where else would the over 70 crowd get that special humor they love so much?
September 18th, 2008 at 10:21 am
I’m sure that if the moose had attacked it would have been justified because Keillor should have known he had no right to be there in the first place.
September 18th, 2008 at 9:18 pm
I have alway held that Keillor hates middle America and everyone who is happy to live there. If you actually read his dreck it is plain as the plains he so hates to be from. The first thing he did when he started to make moeny was run to San Fransisco for a pilgramage. Then he moved to New York and even Europe. But he moved right back when his ego discovered he was medium size fish in the big pond not the big fish in the medium pond. Now contrast that with Jean Shepard. Which is a funnier movie, The Christmas Story, or The Praire Home Companion?? Shepard loved the midwest and all the people in it. If PBS wasn’t such a bunch of self absorbed effete snobs they would rerun the American Playhouse adaptations of his other stories. You would laugh out loud until you were crying. Anyone ever have that reaction to Keillor? The only PHC shows that were ever laugh out loud funny were the ones that just told one joke after another. And darn few of those. I know I had a co-worker who would play the tapes at work constantly.