Comparing Timetables
By Mitch Berg
My old pal Buzzy came up to me at a party the other day.
“I’m remodeling my kitchen!”, he exclaimed, showing me a bunch of cabinets and appliances from an Ikea catalog. All very tasteful…
…well, let’s not get ahead of ourselves.
I looked at Buzzy for a moment. He’s a well-meaning sort, but he’s got his issues. One of his issues is “context”. I can think of two examples.
One of them; he doesn’t own a house. He lives in a tent. He has no “kitchen” to remodel, other than a camp mess kit and a Smokey Joe.
“Aren’t you getting ahead of yourself?” I asked.
“Nah” he said. “I wanna have this plan done before my wife can plan it”.
Buzzy is also a liberal – a big DFLer. Two years ago he was badgering all of us about the need to withdraw from Iraq. When news broke that the Administration and the Iraqi government were on the brink of a deal, he jumped up and down, whooping and hollering like his team had just won on Wait, Wait, Don’t Tell Me: “Hah!” he yelled. “I was calling for this withdrawal two years ago!”
“But”, his friends counsel, “two years ago, the situation in Iraq was horrible, and the war looked lost. Today, it looks nearly over. Withdrawing two years ago would have been irresponsible, would have had economic impacts around the world that’d make today’s oil price surge look like the good ol’ days, and would have led to staggering loss of life in Iraq. Withdrawing today – well, the mission is looking pretty much accomplished”.
He stood there, eyes darting back and forth between us.
“Two years ago; wrong time. Today; right time”.
He stands some more. And some more.
His other friends moved on to another subject, before he chimed in.
“Chimpy McBushither Halliburton Butterfly Ballot Wide Stance 9/11 was an inside job!”
August 8th, 2008 at 6:57 am
Oh my God, this is the funniest thing Angryclown has read in a long while. Mitch has come out in favor of cut-and-run!
Lordy, when the orders come down from above, you change your story with all the subtlety of a Stalin-era commie rushing to justify the non-aggression pact with Hitler.
August 8th, 2008 at 8:28 am
Left Wing Guy(LWG): You colonialist neo-cons want to occupy Iraq permanently! Welcome to the New American Empire! Evacuate now! Genocide ain’t so bad and it’ll be your fault anyhow!
Right Wing Guy (RWG): We leave when we’ve won — not a moment sooner.
LWG: We leave now!
RWG: We leave when we’ve won.
(Two years go by)
RWG: Looks like things are under control. Okay, lets talk about leaving.
LWG: Oh, changing your tune, are you? Coming around to my point of view? Now you need to admit I was right!
RWG:(looks away, whistles, points to his temple and circles his finger in the universal sign for ‘we’ve got a crazy person here’).
August 8th, 2008 at 9:05 am
Naw, Clown is right. We’re cutting and running.
In the same way we cut and ran from Germany.
As opposed to the way we did in Vietnam and Beirut, which is what the left wanted.
I join the left in supporting getting out of wars. The difference is that leaving after we win is of no use to the left.