How does it run now?
By Johnny Roosh
This could be a post on the second amendment, or on property rights. The comments section will dictate that.
I just had to put it up because…
…because I thought it was so damn funny.
Man shoots his lawn mower, police say
MILWAUKEE, Wisconsin (AP) — A 56-year-old Milwaukee man is accused of shooting his lawn mower because it wouldn’t start.
Keith Walendowski has been charged with felony possession of a short-barreled shotgun or rifle and misdemeanor disorderly conduct while armed.
According to the criminal complaint, Walendowski says he was angry because his Lawn Boy wouldn’t start Wednesday morning.
Not exactly an endorsment for Lawn Boy.
Right off the bat, I can empathize. Lawn mowers don’t have a complicated life. They start, they run, they cut. In that order. A lawn mower unable to perform any of these three elements would foster hatred in the heart of any property owner.
He told police: “I can do that, it’s my lawn mower and my yard so I can shoot it if I want.”
Okay, fearless readers, who wants to handle that one?
A woman who lives at Walendowski’s house reported the incident. She says he was intoxicated.
No, really?
Walendowski could face up to an $11,000 fine and six years and three months in prison if convicted.
Wow. That would have paid for years of lawnmower tune-ups and oil changes. Heck, that would have paid for years of lawn mowers.
A call to Walendowski’s home went unanswered Friday.
Seriously, what could possibly come of that conversation? Again, the comments section might offer some insight here as well. Anyone up to the task?
There was no information available on the condition of the lawn mower.
There was no mention of Brett Favre in the article either.
July 26th, 2008 at 7:45 am
The short barrel shotgun is what gets him in serious trouble here. If it doesn’t comply with Federal regs he is going to prison.
The rest of the idiotic stuff would warrant about 30 days in the workhouse, a fine, probation, and a requirement for completing a rehab clinic.
July 26th, 2008 at 8:57 am
He could have done what I did. Take it in to the shop. It’s apparent we need strong lawn mower’s rights legislation. Perhaps the Briggs & Stratton Liberation Front.
July 26th, 2008 at 5:51 pm
Also, I would guess that it is illegal to discharge firearms within Milwaukee city limits, if in fact that is where this guy lives.
July 26th, 2008 at 5:59 pm
There was no mention of Brett Favre in the article either.
That’s pretty rare for articles from Wisconsin these days.
July 26th, 2008 at 8:25 pm
I wonder if some enterprising individual will turn this story into a hit country song. It’s at least as funny as “Bubba Shot The Jukebox.”
July 26th, 2008 at 10:11 pm
Bill C, I believe you are mistaken. If it is illegal to fire a firearm in Milwaukee, how can so many people be killed by gun shots there?
And for Mr Walendowski (with a name like that, he must be a Pabst drinker from South Milw), if you would have purchased a good Wisc or Minnesota made mower, you may not have had this problem.
July 27th, 2008 at 11:49 am
Illegal discharge of a firearm is a crime even in Milwaukee. Even on Packer home dates. However, it isn’t a felony.
July 28th, 2008 at 11:41 am
“A woman who lives at Walendowski’s house reported the incident. She says he was intoxicated.”
Mmmm, a case of Old Milwaukee and a 12ga pump….now *thats* living, my friends.
July 28th, 2008 at 11:43 am
Actually, it would have been more fun to wait until after ‘ski tried to gut and skin the thing.
July 28th, 2008 at 4:42 pm
….like when Sven accidentally shot Ole while hunting? After the doctors failed to save Ole, Sven asked if there was anything he could have done, and the doctor said
“well, if you hadn’t gutted and skinned him, it would have helped!”
I had a “Yard Machines” mower that failed after about 3 hours of use. Used all of my meager small engine knowledge to try and bring it back, and in the end…well….I let Home Depot shoot it for me. No beer was involved. At least on my end.