From the “Too Loathsome To Loathe” Files
By Mitch Berg
There are times I almost feel bad beating on the Minnesoros “Independent”. The site – a paid propaganda site funded by “liberals with deep pockets” and now staffed mostly by refugees from the City Pages – is (occasional and, I stress this, rare bits of good reporting notwithstanding) kind of like the the really drunk guy who walks into a bar spoiling for a fight after he’s already had sixteen beers. You shake your head and hope he doesn’t hurt himself. You hope he goes away, and gets home safely. You try to mute a chuckle as he tries to pick fights with bartenders, waitresses, the barback. You try to continue talking or playing trivia or dancing.
And then the drunk – or the “Independent” – staggers over to wherever you are, and says something really, “beneath and below the call of duty” stupid and inflammatory. And as you’re trying to wave it off, he throws a punch – a sloppy, drunken roundhouse you duck easily. And, earlier sympathies and compassion and best wishes notwithstanding, you’ve had enough, and you smack his jaw so hard he falls down like a load of old City Pages returns getting dumped in the landfill, and despite yourself, you have to laugh. He pissed you off that bad.
Steve Perry staggers over and calls your date a whore as snot drippes over his stubbly mustache thinks he’s got big goods on Mac:
Steve Benen at Carpetbagger Report and Jake Tapper at ABC pick up on a rather astounding fib told by John McCain to a Pittsburgh TV station:
“When I was first interrogated and really had to give some information because of the pressures, physical pressures on me, I named the starting lineup, defensive line of the Pittsburgh Steelers as my squadron mates.”
“Did you really?” asked the reporter.
“Yes,” McCain said.
“In your POW camp?” asked the reporter.
“Yes,” McCain said.
If you’ve heard this story before–and it’s one of the staples of McCain’s POW yarns–you know that it has always been the Green Bay Packers whose starting lineup McCain claims to have recited for his captors. In his 1999 book Faith of My Fathers, McCain wrote: “Pressed for more useful information, I gave the names of the Green Bay Packers offensive line, and said they were members of my squadron.”
Steve Perry – paid propaganda streetwalker of the party whose previous nominee presumptive concocted a dash through sniper fire that was invented from whole cloth, whose hubby invented terror-bombings of black churches, and whose last Prez nominee had a completely fictional Christmas trip to Cambodia “seared, seared” in his memory, goes on:
So much for the third-rail sanctity of John McCain’s time as a North Vietnamese POW. In his own mind, clearly, it’s just another tool in an old campaigner’s arsenal.
And you know what, Steve Perry? More power to him. If this is the best “lie” you can come up with, then you are going to have one long campaign, little fella.
For starters, Mac survived one of the ghastliest ordeals any American has ever suffered, and I don’t care if he claims, forty years later, to have recited the entire lineup to Disney On Ice or the cast of The Fantastics.
Second – so what? It has what to do with policy?
That’s right – exactly the same as Norm Coleman’s “luxury apartment” or any part of Barack Obama’s platform.
Funny this is coming to light a day after McCain confessed in the New York Times that he is not really up on his computers and internets.
“Life is full of ironies, if you’re stupid”. P.J. O’Rourke.
This is your lefty “alternative” media at work; nitpicking a triviality spoken by a guy whose suppositories Steve Perry is not fit to carry. I have a hunch that in five years, he probably managed to get through the Steelers, the Packers, the rest of the NFL, major league baseball, and every cabinet officer in US history.
And it’s “Internet”. What, you’ve been taking “glib and cutesy” lessons from Priesmeyer?
July 15th, 2008 at 5:40 am
Mitch asked, rhetorically: “Second – so what? It has what to do with policy?”
Nothing. And what does policy have to do with electing a president? It’s about character. Or something, right? Whatever’s necessary. Like the niggles you had so much fun with when you were trying to destroy John Kerry. You know, the drill. These miststatements *raise questions*. Why was John McCain able to survive his ordeal when so many others weren’t? Did he get special treatment? Angryclown’s not saying he got special treatment, but it sure *raises questions*, doesn’t it, wingnuts? Maybe he can’t really remember what happened. He’s pretty old. *Raises questions* about his competence, doesn’t it?
Angryclown doesn’t much care for irresponsible propagandists on the left or the right. But you and your Mitchketeers have lost the license to whine. It’s your bed you’re waking up in.
In any case, the fact that McCain uses his sacred POW status as an opening line to ingratiate himself to local audiences (“Rock on, St. Lou…er, Minneapolis!”) invites parody. Expect it to follow.
Also funny is the fact you’re reduced to defending Coleman cause he’s (allegedly) on the take to the tune of a Honda sted of a Ferrari. So it’s ok to take free money if your apartment is a pig-sty?
July 15th, 2008 at 5:57 am
Bet when he’s campaigning in New England he claims it was the 2004 Red Sox starting lineup.
“So I told ’em `Manny Ramirez, Johnny Damon, David Ortiz, Curt Schilling’…”
July 15th, 2008 at 6:18 am
“Good evening Dayton! You know, back when I was a guest at the Hanoi Hilton (pause for laughs), the camp commander liked to ask me questions while the guards used pliers to pull off my fingernails one at a time (laughs).
So this one time, they were asking the names of my squadron mates. To try to stop the horrific beatings, I told them the names of the 1964 NIT-champion University of Dayton Flyers! That’s right, Go Big Red! (uproarious cheering and applause).
No, *you* rock, Dayton!
July 15th, 2008 at 6:24 am
Mitch, Mitch, Mitch….Bush called it “The Internets” once during a debate. The context, of course, was that low-rent bloggers and gossip sites were claiming he was going to bring back the draft (Nutroots: he’s got less than 8 months to do so, so better get those “I told you so” posts polished). He told them the rumors on “The Internets” about the draft weren’t true. However, that message was lost on the 4channers making up memes on the spot.
Little mistake? Sure, and it does sound silly to those who sit on The Internet 20 hours a day in their vacuums where Net lingo is created.
Get with the times, Mitch. You’re supposed to know these inside jokes like every one else reading. Using them is good journalism and well worth the hack money.
July 15th, 2008 at 6:38 am
David,
No, I know where “internets” came from. It’s seared, seared in my memory.
I can listen to fingernails squeaking on chalkboards all day (if you can find a chalkboard anywhere these days). But “internets” and “ginormous”? THOSE irritate me.
July 15th, 2008 at 6:46 am
Mitch,
Most Internet Memes irritate the crap out of me. They’re like the desperately unhip guy at work who adds the word “not!” to a sarcastic comment.
July 15th, 2008 at 7:29 am
angryclown said:
“But you and your Mitchketeers have lost the license to whine.”
I would appreciate it if angryclown misplaced his “license to whine” from time to time. 🙂
July 15th, 2008 at 8:32 am
You think McCain is making up stories about his POW days for security reasons? Bet you anything the Capitol Police made him do it.
July 15th, 2008 at 9:40 am
basically venting his unique brand of BS into the digital medium known as “the Internet.”
Not “the Internets”! Use galderword aber!
Conservatives should always use Old English equivalents rather than neologisms. If McCain is elected that may be the only thing that makes a conservative distinct from a liberal.
July 15th, 2008 at 11:28 am
I think Osama, er Obama should hire AssClown as his campaign manager. He’s clearly got his floppy gloved finger on the pulse of America.
Tell the one about McCain’s really bad teeth again, AssClown. Everyone just loves that one!
July 15th, 2008 at 11:41 am
Swiffer blurted out: “He’s clearly got his floppy gloved finger on the pulse of America.”
Yeah, Swiffer, and that’s where it’s gonna stay. How many times tdo I have to tell you, if you want a “prostate check,” you’re going to have to go to a doctor.
July 15th, 2008 at 12:10 pm
Oh Swiffer? Time to go do your homework. Cause you’ve been schooled.
Try again tomorrow?