Perhaps you’ve heard about Barack Obama’s new bridal registry, wherein couples can opt to have wedding guests give to Barack Obama in lieu of (or in addition to) wedding gifts.
It’s a brilliant idea, of course – bolster anemic small-donor giving by instituting a voluntary tax on life’s little joys, just one little bit of asceticism for the greater good.
But why stop with weddings?
With that in mind – my top ten other ideas to help “gift” America and the world with four more years of Barack Obama:
6. You kids’ birthday money – If Obama wins, every day will be a birthday party!
5. Bar/Bat Mitzvahs – With news that the Jewish vote is eroding, it’s way past time to get the younger generation on board! Today you are a Democrat! Mazel Tov!
4. Grandma’s Nursing Home Budget – You can clean out that spare bedroom, for the good of the country, right?
3. Your Internet Access bill – good Democrats should be getting their news from NBC anyway, right?
2. Your pledge to MPR – Let’s face it, if Obama loses, the Republicans are going to send tanks to the studios anyway. Just like they did during the Bush Administration.
1. Your “Friday Night On The Town” money – Why should newlyweds carry all the burden? Instead of wasting money trying to get some desirable of your preferred gender to go home with you, donate the money to Obama! Republicans will just outlaw sex if they win, anyway, right?