Crowd Control
By Mitch Berg
Came home yesterday after running some errands. Living room was crowded with teenage boys (including my son) playing an XBox. (Tangential note: No, I don’t own an XBox. It must have belonged to one of them). Indoors. On a gorgeous day.
What to do?
Went the the computer. Fired up ITunes. Found my “Punk/Power Pop/Loud Jersey Shore R’nB of the ’70’s and ’80’s” playlist. Cranked the volume.
Somewhere between “Spanish Bombs” by the Clash and “Got To Be A Better Way Home” by Southside Johnny and the Asbury Jukes, they all went outside, and stayed there for an hour or two.
Just in case that helps any of you.
April 14th, 2008 at 1:37 pm
I can usually achieve the same effect without having to go to my computer on a lovely day: I merely start an a capella “HIIII-DING on the BA-AACK-STREETS!” Works with bill collectors and Jehovah’s Witnesses, too.
April 14th, 2008 at 1:46 pm
Take it from a Catholic boy — two words. Gregorian Chants.
April 14th, 2008 at 2:05 pm
Gregorian Chants? As a teenager I was known to crank those up; helped with the ol’ Latin, you know? My parents still shake their heads over my listening habits, everything from progressive, metal, punk, hard rock, to classical, to country (classic, mainly), to Gregorian chants and folk. They never knew what would be blasting out of the speakers when they came home.
It does make it just about impossible for me to leave an mp3 player on shuffle, though. The transitions between some of those styles just don’t work well.
April 14th, 2008 at 3:11 pm
I like the solution, I will be trying it soon.
April 14th, 2008 at 4:42 pm
While effective, I believe your technique is in violation of the Geneva Conventions. Expect to be hearing from the ACLU soon.
April 14th, 2008 at 6:34 pm
Nerdbert, your tastes are similar to mine…except you can throw in some bluegrass & Celtic as well. When I met my husband (34 years agor), he was a pot-smoking ‘bit of trouble’ and he listened to Gregorian Chants…hmmmm…
Looking forward this August 9th to Tom Petty in Winnipeg. Can’t get much better than that.
April 14th, 2008 at 9:22 pm
You guys are old. There’s nothing better than playing video games with the sun shining in through the windows, though not directly on the screen, of course!
My husband would say that you can’t kill aliens outside, and i’d agree that you also can’t build virtual worlds outside:)
April 14th, 2008 at 9:31 pm
Well, to be fair, it wasn’t so much the “video games” as the “crowd of teenager boys who’d descended on my place like locusts”.
Y’know. Like yours are gonna do in about 12-14 years here… 🙂
April 14th, 2008 at 9:33 pm
Don’t remind me. i’m already buying glade air fresheners in bulk, trying to stock up for having a teenage boy in 12 years:)
April 15th, 2008 at 12:03 am
You guys have clearly never listened to Shostakovich’s first cello concerto.
There’s something about that driving beat, played loudly, at the very highest register a cello can accomplish …
http://www.7digital.com/artists/paul-tortelier/shostakovich-cello-concerto-no-1/#
April 15th, 2008 at 12:33 am
You guys have clearly never listened to Shostakovich’s first cello concerto.
And there, you are mistaken!
Indeed, you may have stumbled upon the most over-cellisted thread in the history of the non-musical blogosphere; I played cello for 12 years, and still can crank out a tune pretty well, and if memory serves Pianomomsicle plays a bit as well.
So – hah!
But otherwise, yes – what you said about Shostakovich’s concerto.
April 15th, 2008 at 4:56 am
Colleen revealed: “Nerdbert, your tastes are similar to mine…except you can throw in some bluegrass & Celtic as well.”
It’s hard to pick three styles of music over which African Americans have had absolutely no influence. But Colleen has done it. Angryclown pictures her Riverdance(TM)ing in her White Power compound up in War Road.
April 15th, 2008 at 7:10 am
It’s hard to pick three styles of music over which African Americans have had absolutely no influence.
Not only is it untrue, but you even got your examples wrong.
Russian monastic music
Gregorian chants
Piobaireachd (Pre-british Scots music)
The Hindu “Raga”
Japanese Koto music
Klezmer
The marches of John Philip Souza
Chinese court music
Most jazz written after about 1975
Twelve-Tone
The assembled works of Mike Post.
That’s 11, and I haven’t even broken a sweat.
On the other hand, “the Oirish are the blacks of Europe” (Jimmy Rabbite, the Commitments).
April 15th, 2008 at 7:47 am
I’m gonna guess Colleen’s not listening to the Klezmatics. A hunch.
You’re correct to observe that the marches of John Philip Souza were not written by African-Americans but, rather, by John Philip Souza.
April 15th, 2008 at 7:49 am
Oh, and you use the Clash to chase kids out of the house? What’s wrong with young people these days? Suggest you home-school ’em.
April 15th, 2008 at 12:48 pm
““crowd of teenager boys””
Couldn’t have been my boys. They would never be at your house without you there *grin*
April 15th, 2008 at 10:38 pm
Oh you’d be surprised AC-I love Klezmer. And I do NOT like Riverdance. I like traditional Celtic…preferably that from the Maritimes….just so you know. And is Cajun African-influenced? Just asking….don’t want to accidentally play that (along with some raunchy blues) up here at the “White Power” compound and ruin everything….
April 16th, 2008 at 12:04 am
Growing up with the fear of being given chores whenever I was found inside loitering underfoot was good enough to send me and my pals outside till way after sunset. Gotta get rid of the dishwasher.
April 16th, 2008 at 6:49 am
OK, so Colleen is digging on the roots music. Angryclown can respect that.