It’s Election Time In Siberia
By Mitch Berg
I’m always puzzled when American news outlets report this kind of story with a straight face:
Fidel Castro said Wednesday he is not yet healthy enough to speak to Cuba‘s masses in person and can’t campaign for Sunday’s parliamentary elections.
“I am not physically able to speak directly to the citizens of the municipality where I was nominated for our elections next Sunday,” the ailing 81-year-old wrote in an essay published Wednesday by state news media.
In other news
- Kim Jong Il was criticized for missing his precinct caucus meeting. “This is where the People’s Democracy in North Korea starts”, said Noh Chuk Tae, spokesperson for the Ward 2, Precinct 45 Central Committee of the North Korean Communist Worker’s Party.
- Robert Mugabe reportedly failed to register to vote in his district’s upcoming elections. “In our one-man, one-vote system”, said Lester Mkangangwe, precinct election judge, “the one man that votes had better register, for the good of democracy in Zimbabwe”.
- Thousands of HAMAS gunmen put down their AK47s and picked up stacks of campaign literature in the Gaza Strip today. “We’d hate to lose the election”, said one masked gunman.
That is all.
January 17th, 2008 at 8:12 am
On the eve of the 2004 election, Republicans once again urged voters to reelect President Bush. “Remember, every vote counts,” said Florida Congresswoman Katherine Harris.
January 17th, 2008 at 9:18 am
I wonder why our “dictator” isn’t on the ballot this year?
January 17th, 2008 at 2:37 pm
Cause it was fun for awhile, but now he wants his dad to get him a job as a fireman or astronaut.
January 17th, 2008 at 3:08 pm
When Hillary finishes up her term maybe Bill will get her a job as a nurse or a secretary!
January 17th, 2008 at 4:59 pm
A good thought, Terry, but I bet she’d prefer to go back to high-powered attorney. Pays better. and she’ll have to apply for that one on her own cause Bill’s disbarred, dontcha know.
January 17th, 2008 at 5:05 pm
She got her job at Rose in Arkansas because she was married to the Governor, clown.
January 17th, 2008 at 5:29 pm
Perhaps Hillary can go into commodities trading. She seems to have a knack for turning a small investment into big buckos in an area were few succeed.
January 17th, 2008 at 9:30 pm
You’re joking, right Terry? Hillary joined the Rose firm before Bill became governor. And you don’t exactly expect Yale Law Review editors to be hustling slip and falls outside K-Mart. Truth is, she had to settle for a regional firm in backwater Little Rock cause of Bill’s political ambitions. You wingnuts really lose your minds when the topic of Hillary comes up.
January 17th, 2008 at 9:52 pm
AC-
Wasn’t
LepetomaneBill Clinton elected in ’76, a year before Rose hired Hillary?Speaking as an independent (I’m registered that way) I’ve never gotten the allure of the Clintons. He’s a media whore and one time governor of a small Southern state. His wife seemed to actually believe the feminist crap that was part of the common culture in the 60’s. Clinton and his wife are dedicated politicians, but are not terribly talented lawyers. As these things are measured how do they really stack up? How many reviewed law articles have they published? How many cases have they managed?
Sometimes you read that Hillary has to work against the assumption that she got where she is (NY senator) because of Bill. It’s a sign of our biased media that nobody other than conservatives dares to say that it is true. The truth is the lady is not that sharp.
January 17th, 2008 at 10:25 pm
We’ll have to get some lawyers in here to weigh in – Angryclown is but a simple street busker. Still.
Clinton was elected Arkansas Attorney General, not governor, around the time Hillary joined Rose. But she’d have had her pick of jobs in a real city, like New York or Chicago, if she’d wanted to. Saying Rose is the best law firm in Little Rock is kinda like identifying the best art museum in Little Rock. Nice enough, but not the big time.
Nobody cares how many law review articles somebody writes unless they’re a professor and even then, it’s not much of a measure. Hillary was named to the National Law Journal list of the 100 most influential lawyers in the U.S. twice, before her husband was elected president – at least if Wikipedia is to be believed.
Nobody claims that Hillary was a legal giant, but she was certainly a successful lawyer. And Bill, by all accounts was a good AG and a well-liked law professor. Intellectually, either of ’em beats the piss out of our dull-witted president.
January 17th, 2008 at 11:12 pm
AC-
Even if we agree that Hillary was brilliant Lawyer, widely admired by her peers, etc., and she gave up a great career in law to become Bill’s wife & move to Arkansas (this is the narrative Hillary supporters are pushing) why does that mean she would be a good president? If we want a lawyer there are certainly smarter ones. And in 2000 Bush ran on the theme that he shared the concerns of most Americans, not that he was a policy wonk.
If Hillary had never met Bill, where do you think she would be? Senior partner in a Chicago law firm? And it’s not fair to compare her with Bush. He’s not running for office.
January 18th, 2008 at 5:38 am
Just injecting some reality into the discussion, Terry. (“Narrative” is a word that wingnuts and lefty nuts use when they don’t want to admit something’s true, but don’t have any facts to support ’em.) Lack of intelligence in a politician is no detriment to the Bush dead-enders on this blog, so why are we being so particular about Hillary’s intelligence and accomplishments?
In any case, as you correctly point out, it’s only fair to compare Hillary to whomever she runs against – currently Barack Obama and John Edwards, both lawyers. Since you’re an independent, you’ll have to wait to see if she wins the nomination and compare her with the Republican candidate. But as far as intelligence and pre-government professional accomplishments, she stacks up just fine with any of the likely Republican nominees.
Huckleberry? Please.
January 20th, 2008 at 7:32 am
“Intellectually, either of ‘em beats the piss out of our dull-witted president”
How about some “facts” concerning our “dull-witted” president? Is angryclown using “narrative” here? I think so. I read lots of name calling and very little to back it up.
I hold no illusions about GWBs capabilities, but I don’t fantasize that he is “dull-witted” either. And trying to build up either Clinton by denigrating someone else, the POTUS in this case, isn’t the kind of reasoned argument I expect from an adult.