Forgive Me, Mr. Jobs, For I Have Sinned
By Mitch Berg
The Catholic Church has, um, given its blessing to a “ Confession” iPhone app:
A Catholic bishop in Indiana has approved “Confession: A Roman Catholic App,” created by a company called Little iApps.
For $1.99, Catholics can use their iPhone to help them examine their conscience as part of the sacrament of reconciliation.
But there’s a catch: The application is not designed to replace going into the confession booth.
You’ll still have to see a priest to be absolved from your sins.
(CLOSED CIRCUIT TO I.T. GEEKS)
The Catholic version uses a three-tiered architecture. The Lutherans and Presbyterians are reportedly working on a two-tier version of the app.
(END CLOSED CIRCUIT)
February 9th, 2011 at 8:51 am
We Lutherans don’t need a booth to talk to God. We don’t need a priest to confer absolution. And we really don’t need an iPhone.
Presbyterians? I can’t speak for them.
February 9th, 2011 at 9:01 am
and Jews just go “Oy Vey!”
February 9th, 2011 at 9:28 am
So, you confess your sin and the iPhone says, “Three Hail Marys and two Our Fathers”. And there’s probably an app for that, too.
February 9th, 2011 at 10:30 am
There’s an app, NW. It has a shortcut key, press F9.
February 9th, 2011 at 11:13 am
It’s only good for the sins you commit using your iPhone.
February 9th, 2011 at 11:34 am
Bet you $10 this Bishop marches in teh big gay pride parade too. The Church really needs to clean house. Some parishes are fucking train wrecks.
St. Joan of Arc in Minneapolis has an “Eco spirituality” committee.
February 9th, 2011 at 11:36 am
“We Lutherans don’t need a booth to talk to God. We don’t need a priest to confer absolution.”
Right, Kerm. Strap a virgin down to the alter in the basement, add a couple of candles, some snakes and tambourines and you’re good to go, baby! Heh.
February 9th, 2011 at 11:47 am
So, Swiftee, you don’t believe in justification by faith alone?
Go ahead, send in your Papist French & Spanish armies to ravage my homeland. I will respond by ceding territory to the Swedes in return for their protection. We’ll hash this out, even if it takes 30 years!
February 9th, 2011 at 12:15 pm
Good one, Terry. Got to keep an eye on that Gustavus Adolphus fellow.
Have you ever read Flint’s novel, “1632”?
February 9th, 2011 at 12:58 pm
Terry; Ha!
February 9th, 2011 at 1:08 pm
Strap a virgin down to the alter in the basement
You’re talking Missouri Synod. Don’t mix ’em up.
February 9th, 2011 at 1:25 pm
The Wisconsin Evangelical Lutheran Synod would require a certification of virginity. I’ll stick with what the Bible says. And there ain’t nothing in there about having to go to a priest for absolution.
February 9th, 2011 at 1:34 pm
You’re talking Missouri Synod. Don’t mix ‘em up.
That’s right; the fracture never did quite stop, did it? Well, they all look the same to me.. 😉
I’ll stick with what the Bible says. And there ain’t nothing in there about having to go to a priest for absolution.
Right, and who doesn’t like strapped down virgins ? I’m weakining! 😉
February 9th, 2011 at 1:41 pm
Hmm. That whole Catholic thing has some interesting aspects. Are the strapped down virgins female?
February 9th, 2011 at 1:45 pm
That whole Catholic thing has some interesting aspects. Are the strapped down virgins female? Dunno….what’s the Bible say?
February 9th, 2011 at 1:54 pm
OK, all. We already had our thirty years war. We’re all theoretically on the same team.
February 9th, 2011 at 2:07 pm
“And there ain’t nothing in there about having to go to a priest for absolution.”
“Whoseever sins you forgive are forgiven, and whosever sins you hold bound will be bound.” Or something of similar import.
It’s in there, somewhere near the back.
February 9th, 2011 at 2:08 pm
Me and swiftee vs. all the heretics!
This is an unfair fight. You all should run away now.
February 9th, 2011 at 2:13 pm
We need to calm down and discuss this topic rationally and with Christian charity. This ain’t no game of Risk. We all agree that the Eucharist contains the real presence of Christ, and we all believe in one God in three persons.
Unlike those perdition-bound Mormons and Jehovah’s Witnesses.
February 9th, 2011 at 2:14 pm
being an ex-catholic (don’t get me started) I can answer Kermits question with another question.
Are the strapped down virgins female?
How many priests did you hear abused little girls?
February 9th, 2011 at 2:21 pm
This is an unfair fight.
Yes, it was. It ended when Luther nailed his 96 thesis on the church door. But I agree with Mitch. I forgive Swiftee and Foot.
February 9th, 2011 at 2:23 pm
Speaking of Mormons, Has Elder Chad’s good buddy Hugh Hewitt taken the plunge and converted yet?
Once an apostate, always an apostate, and it’s Romney’s good luck that neither Country Club nor Chamber of Commerce is a church.
February 9th, 2011 at 3:03 pm
Me and swiftee vs. all the heretics!
Get the torch lit, Foot; I got the rope! We’ll burn the Devil out of these dirt worshiping heathens….Heh.
Calm down, I’m a kidder; kid.
(Don’t forget the matches, Foot)
February 9th, 2011 at 3:04 pm
I forgive Swiftee and Foot.
That involve touching a snake? LOL!
February 9th, 2011 at 3:13 pm
This is an unfair fight.
On this blog, there is only one doctrinally-infallible source.
Me.
So until Catholics start ramming planes into the clock tower at Oral Roberts, or Nazarenes start making women wear burqas, let’s save the holy-warring zeal for the Jihadi Atheists.
February 9th, 2011 at 3:13 pm
What Mitch said generally, and what Swiftee said about St. Joan of Arc in particular. I suspect the only reason the whole lot of them haven’t been excommunicated is because the Protestants wouldn’t want ’em, either.
February 9th, 2011 at 3:36 pm
start making women wear burqas
Ever seen a genuine Catholic nun, Mitch? Not many in US anymore, habits make marching in the wymen’s rights parade cumbersome, but not much diff.
Racist.
February 9th, 2011 at 3:48 pm
Catholic is a race? Who knew? It does explain a lot.
February 9th, 2011 at 3:49 pm
Ever seen a genuine Catholic nun, Mitch?
Spent sixth grade at Catholic school, which had a…whatdya call them, a nun hut or a sistery or whatever, on one wing of the building. Yep, saw the old-fashioned habits; you used to see the sistas walking around Jamestown in ’em.
February 9th, 2011 at 3:52 pm
nun hut or a sistery or whatever
I believe the official term is “hatchery”, Mitch.
February 9th, 2011 at 4:37 pm
Are there ingenuous Catholic nuns? I thought they had to sign a contract.
February 9th, 2011 at 4:56 pm
Or maybe this is who Mitch remembers:
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0061252/
February 9th, 2011 at 5:40 pm
Nuns come in all sorts, but Swiftee is right — most of the orders in the U.S. don’t wear the habit much any more. I spent a total of nine years in Catholic schools. The nuns in my high school wore the wimple (the head part of what is known as a habit), but the nuns in my elementary school looked and dressed like a woman’s book club in South Minneapolis.
February 9th, 2011 at 8:56 pm
My God, that nun could really fly, couldn’t she, Kermit?
The power of the Holy Ghost is awesome!
February 9th, 2011 at 9:04 pm
It was the hat. Never underestimate the value of a good wimple.
February 9th, 2011 at 11:38 pm
Are there ingenuous Catholic nuns?
February 10th, 2011 at 8:58 am
Well now that you put it that way, I guess they’re all ingenuous.
February 10th, 2011 at 10:14 am
C’mon everyone! The Catholic church at least had one thing that was good, at least in my book. I was a public school sinner, because my folks didn’t have the money to send us to Catholic schools, so we had to go to what was know as “Catechism classes” to prevent the Godless heathen teachers from indoctrinating us! 😉
Speaking of the cost thing, I remember a whole bunch of new friends that I made as a freshman. That was the point where Catholic families with kids in local parish schools had to decide whether or not to send their kids to De laSalle or Benilde-St. Margarets (they were separate schools back then) and pay a huge bump in costs, plus there was the transportation issue.
February 10th, 2011 at 10:33 am
Forgot Holy Angels! That was a girls only HS, I believe until some time in the late 80’s. Supposedly, all of the “bad” Catholic girls went there, so the rumor was that it was easy to get dates there.
A friend of mine dated a girl that went there and I remember that her and her friends seemed to be a lot hotter looking than the girls at Lincoln HS in Bloomington were. Maybe it was that naughty girl perception that made them so hot.
February 10th, 2011 at 11:52 am
I was a public school sinner
Wasn’t that a movie back in the 30s?
February 10th, 2011 at 9:49 pm
I’ll stick with what the Bible says. And there ain’t nothing in there about having to go to a priest for absolution.
Well, that could be because Martin Luther apparently excised several books from his Bible because he disagreed with the theology.
And Holy Angels was a GREAT (if expensive) school in the 1980s. I even got a gazillion pledges for the Run for Catholic Schools (as a Lutheran!) so I could wear jeans one Friday.
February 11th, 2011 at 12:10 am
You will all spontaneously combust one day. You know this don’t you.
February 11th, 2011 at 9:15 am
Um, BP Luther didn’t “excise” anything. He used the same Bible agreed upon by the Council of Nicea.