Pork Not – Redux
By Mitch Berg
A few weeks ago, I wrote about an episode where a WalMart cashier politely, genially asked me to pass a pack of bologna in front of the scanner for her.
“No bigs”, I figured. Odd, in that “don’t touch pork even if it’s in a blister pack” is one of those rulings by a small, rather extreme group of imams in the Twin Cities that aren’t recognized – indeed, draw chin-scratching – from Quranic authorities elsewhere. But whatever – I ran the offending product over the scanner – not much different than my not scheduling late-Friday meetings with my highly-orthodox Jewish colleague, or leaving cattle at home in my IT shop.
No biggie. I paid it not much further thought.
Except that yesterday, I was at WalMart again. And I saw the cashier.
One thing I omitted from the original post; the cashier is hot. Smokin’ hot. Yowwwww hot. She was wearing a headscarf, and an ensemble of Walmart-cashier duds that were stretched to maximum, tight effect.
I nodded, and she grinned. With her fully-visible face.
Now, let’s be clear here: I don’t care that she’s attractive. Indeed, in the interest of making a better society, putting up with attractive women is a sacrifice I’m willing to make. You can thank me later. And a smile is a very good thing.
I just thought it was odd – the cashier is utterly punctilious about observing the most picayune edict of a group of fringe imams when it comes to handling pork, but as re the whole “female modesty” thing, she’s completely out-of-mosque (and yes, some of the Somali women who work at WalMart do wear the full robe ensemble)?
I can hardly make it up fast enough.
Of course, as Ed and Katherine show us today, you have to try to, anyway.
December 17th, 2007 at 9:23 am
Mitch offered to remove the speck from someone’s eye: “So – she’s utterly punctilious about observing the most picayune edict of a group of fringe imams when it comes to handling pork, but as re the whole “female modesty” thing, she’s completely out-of-mosque”
Meanwhile, right-wing kooks who purport to follow Jesus Christ support the death penalty and the war in Iraq. Funny world, ain’t it?
December 17th, 2007 at 9:26 am
Angry Clown — master theologian of a religion he does not follow.
December 17th, 2007 at 9:26 am
When I read your post about this a few weeks ago, I wrote, and then deleted (I think) something mocking your comment that this is simplyl a bunch of local Imams, and noting your apparent complete lack of ability to grasp religious context in that Jews (Orthodox) and most others, have about zero tolerance for pork either…
But you do such a good job showing your religious intolerance, there really isn’t any need for anyone to post. Glad you can find the Mosleem skank so freakin hot… I mean, I get you’d be glad to date her, and obviously her modesty is mostly just a joke between the two of you.. you don’t need to make it up Mitch, your ability to eat your feet is unbridled. MAYBE Mitch, just maybe, there are portions of fundamentalist stricture that SOME cultures adopt, while not adopting others, like say, baptism a second time – that the Evangelical nutjobs buy, but the rest of the Christian world says is wrong.. oh, heck and maybe there’s those darn intecession of saints things, and heck, maybe the number of sacriments.. and yes Mitch, the Mosellem world actually has these things called ‘differences’ between sects and branches, there are actually even two major branches – we like to call them Shiaa and Sunni, but you may think of them as Protestant and Catholocism. Perhaps when you stop leering, you’ll take your foot out of your mouth, and consider that Judaism has some folks who ‘cut their hair and shave their beards’ while some others don’t- and that girl behind the counter was smiling because she wants to fit in, not because she appreciates you looking at her ass. Then maybe you can stop mocking their ethic of modesty, that some cultures (Somali) embrace less strictly than other (Taliban/Wahabi/Saudi).
Go buy a ham sandwich in Mecca bud, and comment how smokin hot the babe is at the gate. I’m sure as they stone you to death in our ‘great ally Saudi Arabia’ you can consider how very different life is in SA, from say a country where people emigrated to that talked about religious tolerance and understanding (The US) while leering at their women and mocking the sincerity of their beliefs. You, Sir, are such a gentleman.
December 17th, 2007 at 9:31 am
Peev,
You missed the point so perfectly that it is almost a marvel of physics.
December 17th, 2007 at 9:35 am
wing kooks who purport to follow Jesus Christ support the death penalty
Which I don’t, and have repeatedly argued the point with Christian death penalty supporters. Go chew on that speck for a while.
and the war in Iraq.
Which was and remains the right thing to do.
That didn’t take long!
Oh, and just so’s we’re clear; I’m perfectly fine with women – Moslem or otherwise – being jaw-droppingly attractive. In fact, it makes the whole world a better place.
December 17th, 2007 at 9:41 am
Interesting that, while you claim not to have any problem in the world with that Wal-Mart cashier, you’ve posted the story twice.
December 17th, 2007 at 9:41 am
Quick! Call my editor!
December 17th, 2007 at 10:40 am
I’d call using the excuse of another blog post to notice an attractive woman completely valid. Aren’t there some mainstream publications out there that do similar things? Page 3 girls and the like?
Mitch, you’re going MSM! Come back to the light!
December 17th, 2007 at 10:45 am
For a guy who wants to invoke the speck/log story from the Bible, he doesn’t seem to…
…aw, forget it.
By the way, when is Peev going to get on point?
December 17th, 2007 at 11:07 am
Sheesh, Mitch, you didn’t mention before that she was hot. In that case, you definitely were right to handle the pork for her. (Does that sound as bad to your ear as it does to mine?)
🙂
December 17th, 2007 at 11:07 am
1) Interesting that, while angryclown (and others) can’t seem to find anything redeeming about Mitch’s political posts, he still reads and comments on every last one of them.
2) Points to peev for coming up with “Mosellem.” That’s the most inventive bit of nonspelling I’ve seen in quite a while.
December 17th, 2007 at 11:24 am
I’m always in favor of hearing about hot chicks.
Steve G… he also made a creative spelling for Catholicism. However, I’m actually Catholic and even that one has slipped by me.
I wonder if the hot check-out girl is merely doing the pork bandwagon in case something else comes down the pike that she really believes and doesn’t want to look insincere.
(I also wonder when Peev and AC are going to pop another gasket… collective or otherwise.)
December 17th, 2007 at 12:29 pm
I often pop a gasket after handling the pork.
Ah, SitD, my one Internet stop for new and improved euphemisms.
December 17th, 2007 at 1:12 pm
Oooh, er! lol
December 17th, 2007 at 3:45 pm
Glad you can find the Mosleem skank so freakin hot…
not sure the term skank is justifiable
nothing in either of Mitch’s posts suggests or implies that she is sexually promiscuous, socially repugnant or in any way unclean.
aside from the hijab/headscarf she could be any american woman
calling her a skank is an undeserved slander that seems mostly predicated by her sex and a peculiar animus on the part of the poster
December 17th, 2007 at 3:50 pm
Good point, Kel. The woman was courteous, professional, and obviously appreciated at work (she was an assistant manager, in fact). I’m not quite sure what it was that indicated to Peev that she was a “skank”, but it certainly wasn’t in any thing I tried to write.
And, Peev’s little flight of fiction notwithstanding, there was no “leering” involved (not that the actual facts of my actions seem to mean much to Peev) – indeed, whatever my other faults, I’m nothing if not a gentleman. I was merely observing.
Perhaps he’s doing “a good job showing [his gender-based] intolerance”. Not sure.
December 17th, 2007 at 4:04 pm
“I’m not quite sure what it was that indicated to Peev”
I find it just amazing that anybody tries to understand what the Peev writes.
December 17th, 2007 at 4:13 pm
I find it just amazing that anybody tries to understand what the Peev writes.
Chalk it up to my background in linguistics.
Construction tells you the dangedest things.
December 17th, 2007 at 4:16 pm
Kel,
Peev didn’t slander anyone… at least not based on anything he wrote (and, as often is the case, he wrote a lot) in here.
December 17th, 2007 at 4:23 pm
badda
calling a woman a skank without basis is not “a false or malicious claim that may harm someone’s reputation”?
December 17th, 2007 at 4:31 pm
badda
or is your assertion based on this being putatively a fixed rather than a transitory medium?
December 17th, 2007 at 4:35 pm
That’s right… Peev did it in print.
What’s more, that was Peev’s way of impersonating (what he considers) a conservative.
December 17th, 2007 at 4:40 pm
It’s not “defamation”, because there’s no way for any of the consumers to know who’s being defamed. You don’t know which WalMart, which manager, etc, etc. One must be known to be defamed (libel or slander).
It was a shoddy slur on conservatives, of course, but whatever.
December 17th, 2007 at 4:41 pm
Meanwhile, right-wing kooks who purport to follow Jesus Christ support the death penalty
Clownie misses on very obvious point: Jesus not only supported the death penalty, He volunteered for it.
Shalom.
December 17th, 2007 at 4:46 pm
she can be known and defamed
Mitch claims he lives in the midway,
go to the 3 closest Walmart stores on a saturday afternoon,
look for a “smoking hot” female assistant manager wearing a hijab western clothes and odds are you have the “Mosleem skank” in question
December 17th, 2007 at 4:48 pm
Mitch,
I used to work in (not for) a local big box hardware store. We had a couple of cashiers who fit the description you give (headscarf, but very tight, form-showing clothing).
They were fun to talk to, and to flirt with. And they were good, very good, at flirting.
I think the only pork product in the store was some pigskin gloves. I have no idea if they handled them or not.
December 17th, 2007 at 4:50 pm
go to the 3 closest Walmart stores on a saturday afternoon,
look for a “smoking hot” female assistant manager wearing a hijab western clothes and odds are you have the “Mosleem skank” in question
Have you been in a Saint Paul-area WalMart lately? You’d narrow it down to about 10 women.
December 17th, 2007 at 4:55 pm
Kel,
When you say she can be known, do you mean in the Biblical sense? Ooops! I mean the Quranic sense.
December 17th, 2007 at 4:59 pm
badda
do you really think this is a fixed medium?
December 17th, 2007 at 7:11 pm
It more closely resembles print than regular speech… however, I suppose there are some resemblances to broadcast.