SCENE:  The House Minority Caucus is meeting around a table at the Road Apple Saloon, at the Kelly Inn near the Capitol.  Paul THISSEN, Minority Leader, sits at a table with Debra HILSTROM, whips Larry HOSCH, Phyllis KAHN, Melissa HORTMAN, Alice HAUSMAN, John LESCH and Terry MORROW. They are joined by the rest of the DFL caucus around the table.

THISSEN:  OK, the caucus will come to order.

LESCH: He said come to order, you pigs…

THISSEN: John, that’ll do.  The first order of business is, we have to figure out how we’ll take the battle to the enemy.

Jim DAVNIE: Er, “Enemy?”

THISSEN:  The GOP.

DAVNIE: I knew that.

THISSEN:  We are outnumbered, of course – and the governor is, well…you know…

(The table murmers assent)

Rep. Ryan WINKLER: Ooooh!   Oooh!  I know.

THISSEN: Yes, representative…er,…

HOSCH: Binkley.

WINKLER:  That’s “Winkler”.  (HOSCH rolls his eyes)   I’ll go and tell everyone that “the real voter fraud is believing that the GOP cares about election integrity”.

THISSEN (absentmindedly): Sure, whatever.  Now, Alice – there’s some work that needs to be done on transportation…

WINKLER:  Oooh, oooh!  I got another one!

THISSEN (a little impatient): Er, yes, Representative Winkie?

WINKLER: Winkler, sir. I’ll tell the media that the GOP wants to kill poor womyn!

THISSEN (wearily):  Sure, whatever.  Alice, what can we…

WINKLER:  Oooh!  Ooooooooh!  I got it!

THISSEN:  For the love of Goddess, what, Representative Twinkle?

WINKLER: It’s “Winkler”, sir.  I’ll tell them that Amy Koch eats dog poop!

THISSEN:  Er, sure.  Get right on that.

(Winkler rises from table, exits the restaurant).

HAUSMAN: OK, I’ll get to work on that…

HORTMAN: Oh, my Goddess.  Paul, look…

(THISSEN turns up the volume on the TV, which shows WINKLER talking with a fake news crew)

THISSEN: My god.  The little twerp did it.

MORROW:  Good Wellstone, what a tool.

LESCH: Should I have him eliminated?

THISSEN:  No.  Not yet.  He may serve a purpose yet.  What was he going to say about Senator Koch?

(And Scene).

———-

OK, OK.  It’s a dig at Rep. Ryan Winkler (44B), who took a pretty unconscionable dig at all Republicans yesterday, claiming that the only voter fraud in Minnesota is the notion that we Republicans care about election integrity.

Winkler has become the Eddie Haskell of the Legislature.

And the claim itself really doesn’t deserve a dignified response; it’s just stupid.  Minnesota’s statistics look good, because the system is designed to make the statistics look good.  And it’s Republicans, not Democrats, who are the most-documented victims of our state system’s weaknesses; military absentee ballots (which vote overwhelmingly GOP) have been systematically dispensed with since Mark Ritchie took office.

Republicans who seek election integrity have been a prime target for the DFL’s smear machine.  But you know what Gandhi said; first they ignore you.  Then Ryan Winkler mocks you.  Then they attack you.  Then you win.

More on the voter ID bill tomorrow.

This entry was posted by by Mitch Berg on Thursday, January 27th, 2011 at 12:00 pm and is filed under Election Integrity, Minnesota Politics. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.