Note To Morons
By Mitch Berg
A couple of points if you’re a hapless dolt (whose blog has three posts in a year) who threatens bloggers’ livelihoods over their disagreements:
- He’s Sicilian.
- He is a better blogger, and (accounting for all visible evidence, person) than you.
- You had best stay anonymous.
Just saying.
UPDATE: Dolt asks what I’d do if I met him. (Don’t sweat the link – you’re not missing anything)
Simple.
- Giggle derisively.
- Resume ignoring him.
#2, incidentally, will commence now.
December 7th, 2006 at 7:28 pm
Great. Now that fool will post again about his insane upsurge in traffic. He’s had 80 page views in two days, dontcha know? His stupidity would be amusing if it weren’t just so incredibly sad.
December 8th, 2006 at 10:27 am
“Nice ridiculous racist comment Mitch”
Racist?
Racist?????
I knew that term has been defined down into near-meaninglessness, but…huh?
December 8th, 2006 at 11:43 am
Given your physique,
Given my what?
You’re saying you know who I am and what I look like?
What are you – a stalker?
December 8th, 2006 at 11:43 am
Oh, yeah – and what Foot said. Racist?
Are you even coherent?
December 8th, 2006 at 11:52 am
Whoah! That answers THAT question!
Because “JBauer” would seem to be not so much a stalker as…
…our old pal “PB” under an assumed name!
Go ahead, P. You can come out of the closet now.
December 8th, 2006 at 12:00 pm
Given your physique, is there a point in time we can stop taking your only half-joking lunacy seriously?
What on earth are you talking about, J…er, PB?
Did you actually read the post? Foot, Ryan and the dork are the subjects. I am not.
As to the rest of your really dull-witted little mindfart – talk is cheap.
December 8th, 2006 at 12:29 pm
He’s talking about calling a guy Sicilian… which to my knowledge isn’t an insult.
Hey, what do you get when you cross a Sicilian with a rhinoceros? A rhinoceros horn up your ass because no one crosses a Sicilian!
December 8th, 2006 at 12:38 pm
Wait a minute. I was the subject of this post? I’m all confused.
December 8th, 2006 at 1:24 pm
So am I. It was Leo, not you.
Because it was so much work to scroll up and re-read the post.
Sorry.
December 8th, 2006 at 1:41 pm
Note to PB…
Sicilian isn’t a racially or ethnically charged insult. Reading racism into the comment doesn’t make it racism… it makes you a guy who sees racism everywhere.
Also, Minnesota is Vikings territory… of course, that’s not exactly a point of pride, however, they are at least football players and can tackle. Not to mention, when someone says they are going to get medieval on someone that doesn’t mean the speaker must be centuries old or actually use thumb screws, iron maidens, racks, or the comfy chair.
Another comment… “talk is cheap” is apparently a phrase used by many folks to convey the fact that opinions are fairly easy to come by… like assholes (and anyone with a blog), everyone has one.
It must be frustrating coming to a blog where people you so dearly disagree with… unable to resist visiting, unable to stop commenting to fix the record of the day or to put someone in their place. Tell me, are you saying, “Why can’t I quit you,” after you hit Submit Comment on Shot in the Dark?
Just curious.
By the way, change the tinfoil.
lol
December 8th, 2006 at 1:52 pm
So Mitch, what precisely did you mean by warning the dolt that your bobo is Sicilian?
I have no bobo.
Foot is Sicilian.
Shortfalls in cultural literacy on your part don’t constitute emergencies on mine.
Making any reference to his ethnicity, is a generalization of some basic racial trait, that is, on it’s face, racist.
Maybe on your face. But for the rational world, non-derogatory references to ethnic background aren’t considered a problem.
As for the rest of your mindfart, given that you recently threatened Imams with “going Viking” on them
Oh, you funny, retarded little fellow.
I didn’t “threaten” anyone. I realize this is difficult for your stunted little peabrain to wrap its sweaty little arms around, but work with me here. I told the imams to refrain from behavior that Americans these days find threatening (getting weapons, visibly casing the airplane). And I’d do the same.
Your style of argumentation will now bid you to find another strawman to yip about. Since I’m way ahead of you, just leave it be, mkay?
– a little confusing given your claimed german heritage
I have never claimed any German heritage. I have none. I speak German. Surely even you see the difference.
but I assume part of your heritage is also Scandinavian or Norman – your need to offer direct or vieled threats of “we’re tougher than you” is childish.
Sure, but that wasn’t anywhere close to what I was saying.
You don’t appear, based on your picture, to be the picture of an intimidating figure.
Well, goody. What are you talking about….no. Never mind. I don’t care.
Because, after all, talk is cheap, right? What exactly did you mean?
I mean you’re an anonymous (?) asshole who seems to like to pick pointless arguments based on deeply flawed readings of arguments from your intellectual betters.
And I think you’re really PB, skulking about under yet another cowardly pseudonym.
December 8th, 2006 at 2:16 pm
You don’t appear, based on your picture, to be the picture of an intimidating figure.
Actually, Mitch is a pretty tall guy, and he’s gregarious, which I sometimes find inimidating in people. I know him to be a pretty harmless guy–if somewhat of a close talker–but I can see people being intimidated by him.
December 8th, 2006 at 2:17 pm
jbauer,
I’m not a bobo. This is Bobo:
http://www.careerbuilder.com/monk-e-mail/?mid=16999487
And on behalf of all Sicilians everywhere, I absolve Mitch of, er… whatever.
December 8th, 2006 at 2:22 pm
Jbauer/PB: I’m gonna kick your stupid ass! Because I’m 50 percent Irish and I love to drink and fight! I’m also about 1/4 French, so there’s a 25 percent chance I’ll let you win! I’m also about a 1/4 Scandinavian, so after I’m done beating your ass into oblivion and suckling on your sweet, sweet blood droplets, I’m going to eat some lefse and lutefisk!
December 8th, 2006 at 2:36 pm
The only coward, is sitting in your chair, asshole.
Oh, yeah! Well, so’s YOUR MOM!
(And by the way – lovely use of commas)
Only the pompous make stupid physical threats
And I didn’t! Bingo!
Making a generalization that something should be concluded from someone’s ethnicity, is racist, if you think otherwise…
…then you are a normal human!
Historically speaking, Germans really aren’t Vikings…
Numbnuts! I AM HALF NORWEGIAN! I AM ZERO GERMAN!
And you are the best entertainment I’ve had all day.
December 8th, 2006 at 2:37 pm
Actually, I am a Sicilian.
December 8th, 2006 at 2:38 pm
And more over, I did not find Mitch’s comments offensive in the least, JB–so go suck a rock.
December 8th, 2006 at 2:57 pm
Mitch,
Ummm…
(tapping fingers on desk)
I’m afraid Bobo wants an appearance fee for his cameo.
I tried to get through to him that when I asked him to do a “cameo,” I didn’t mean it in the strict Hollywood sense of the word. Yet he continued to insist on holding me to the exact single self-serving interpretation of that term. Can you help me deal with Bobo? I fear that he is lonely and has all kinds of time to pester me about this.
December 8th, 2006 at 3:02 pm
Foot,
Manute Bol is a tall guy too, as I understand, so is Luciano Pavarotti. Are you really intimidated by either?
I made the comment about Mitch’s height, numbnuts, not Foot! NUMBNUTS! If you’re going to go through all the trouble to make rambling, overly parsed, slightly obsessive-compulsive comments, at least have the common numbnut courtesy to address them correctly, or I’ll go all Sicilian on your ass!
Just so you know, jbauer/PB, every time you click “Submit Comment,” God kills a kitten. Something to think about.
December 8th, 2006 at 3:48 pm
jbauer
just for my edification
do you define Sicilians as a race based on a special social construct?
or
do you define Sicilians as a race based on a biogeographic ancestry?
or
do you define Sicilians as a race based on a physiological/genomic array of traits?
and
how do you differentiate social/political culture from their “race”?
December 8th, 2006 at 4:07 pm
jbauer: By overly parsing, I meant–by this point in the comment thread–your commentary has devolved into minute argument parsing that has virtually nothing at all to do with the original post. I know you think you’re making valid points, but you rarely, if ever, are. This may be difficult–by which I mean IMPOSSIBLE–for you to accept, but it’s pretty obvious to most everyone who follows these threads. You come across as the old guy on the porch angrily waving his cane, yelling in the belief somebody cares.
December 8th, 2006 at 4:13 pm
If anyone on this thread tries to impersonate my friend PB I’ll go all viking on them.
December 8th, 2006 at 7:46 pm
I’m trying to picture Mitch giggling derisively.
jb, pb, is there an obvious trend? Naaaah!
I do like the way the twenty-one paragraph posts have been broken up into seven three paragraph posts. Very elusive.
December 8th, 2006 at 8:48 pm
You understand, don’t you, PB imitator, that ‘going viking’ involves lefse and dried cod soaked in lye. Also an inordinate amount of pride in _not_ being Swedish and in the ability to beat up priests and steal their religious artifacts, especially if they’re Irish.
See ya, wouldn’t want to be ya.
December 9th, 2006 at 12:05 pm
As an almost homogenous 50/50 Irish/German mix I’d ‘threaten’ to blitzkrieg Jb/Pb but then forget to while sleeping off the Harps hangover.
Wow, this ancestral evocation is fun!
And about as pointless as any and all of Jb/Pb posts.
December 11th, 2006 at 10:35 pm
My Mitch Ass Hat looks quite stylish. If you don’t think so, you can go eat a cock.