New Years Plans
By Mitch Berg
Who, me? I have a liter of Tequila, a box of .38 hollowpoints, and a full tank of gas. Why do you ask?
Well, no. I’m actually going to try to make it to Tammy Nerby’s show at the MinneHaHa tonight.
15 Responses to “New Years Plans”
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December 31st, 2010 at 1:49 pm
Hollow points are the common sense choice for festive display’s of exhuberance….they tend to fall back to Earth a bit slower and are therefore much safer.
It’s clear you’ve done your homework, Mitch.
December 31st, 2010 at 2:05 pm
Will you be wearing sunglasses?
December 31st, 2010 at 3:17 pm
Damn, Swiftee, that should be a PSA for my neighborhood.
December 31st, 2010 at 3:51 pm
I don’t think it works the same way when bullets are sprayed out horizontally, Margaret….best to keep your head down tonight 😉
December 31st, 2010 at 3:54 pm
That’s not a recipe for cookies now is it?
December 31st, 2010 at 4:05 pm
Hollow points are way over rated, Swiftee.
Just like a middle aged man with a new Porsche, hollow point bullets help small caliber handguns compensate for their size and inadequacy issues.
December 31st, 2010 at 4:08 pm
See you on the road, sucka!
December 31st, 2010 at 8:52 pm
Where ‘ya at, Mitch? I’m in my ’73 Hemi-cuda cruising Saddle Road just on the east side of the military base. I’m howling like a wolf to Foreigner’s Double Vision (8-track). I can’t keep feedin’ this thing nitro forever, my Mickey-60’s are about to melt!
Also I’m almost out of ammo.
January 1st, 2011 at 3:03 am
Arright, I am home again. I crashed the hemi-cuda at Pu’u hulu-hulu, across from the Mauna Kea Acess Road. Jeebus what a mess. I left the hemi-cuda in flames and high tailed it over Mauna Loa on foot on the Stainback Highway. Thirty miles to get home, 2,000 feet up and 3,000 feet down. Thank God I work out.
I wouldn’t have made it but I ran across some old-style pig hunters by Kulani work camp — old style meaning they used spears and dogs instead of long arms — they gave me some jerky and a swallow or two of water. I tried to thank them but I don’t think they even had pidgin.
So now I am back home in Volcano, enjoying a rum & juice, waiting for the New Year to ring in.
I am going to miss that 8 track player.
January 1st, 2011 at 11:00 am
Hunter S. Thompson is not dead. He is alive and living in Hawaii.
January 1st, 2011 at 11:57 am
Just like a middle aged man with a new Porsche, hollow point bullets help small caliber handguns compensate for their size and inadequacy issues.
Zing!
Terry, you need to contact West Hawaii Today.
They’re running a story about a your rampage last night…evidently they combined the empty shell casings with a case of mistaken identity (they thought the poi you were throwing out the window was the contents of a human skull) to concoct a murder-for-hire scenerio involving a Somoan drag racing syndicate.
January 1st, 2011 at 2:08 pm
It wouldn’t have been so bad if Terry hadn’t asked the pig hunters “How about a nice Hawaiian punch”.
January 1st, 2011 at 8:07 pm
Kermit-
Hawaiians love that joke!
Swiftee — around here we call West Hawaii Today Hilo Tribune-Herald Yesterday!
January 1st, 2011 at 9:15 pm
Sand bags, Margaret, the PSA for North Minneapolis should be how to improvise soft armor.
January 1st, 2011 at 11:41 pm
Yeah Terry, I miss the good old days when we could use a racial stereotype and physical assault to sell soft drinks.
P.C. has turned us into humorless wimps.