Pork Never Sleeps
By Mitch Berg
If you don’t live in Saint Paul, you might not know or care about Porkys’, a University Avenue institution for about fifty years. The drive-up restaurant, with its greasy burgers and heavenly, American Heart Association-condemned onion rings, has been an anchor on the Uni cruising circuit since Eisenhower was in office.
While RT Rybak apparently can do nothing about crime, and is intent on taxing Minneapolis business into Eden Prairie or Sioux Falls, he does know his fast food, according to Doug Grow:
But there’s nothing normal about Porky’s, which has achieved icon status in St. Paul, or the debate the drive-through restaurant has stirred in northeast Minneapolis…To some, like Minneapolis Mayor R.T. Rybak, Porky’s conjures up romantic visions.
“As a kid, I rode my bike there,” he said, referring to a time when there were three Porky’s in the city.
All three closed decades ago, victims of the “Big Mac-ing” of America.
Rybak gets almost misty-eyed when he talks of the deeper meaning of Porky’s onion rings. They represent local ownership, a destination point, affordable family dining.
“If a piece of our history can’t be part of our future, the city has lost some of its soul,” the mayor is fond of saying.
And while I think Rybak’s romanticism is out of control – Minneapolis has lost vastly bigger swathes of its history than Porky’s – I wish all the best to the restaurant’s expansion.
And by “all the best”, I mean “good luck”. They’ll need it.
Some clearly don’t share the mayor’s cosmic view of Porky’s. An organization — Neighbors Against Porky’s — believes it’s the wrong restaurant in the wrong place.”I like the onion rings, too,” said Doron Clark, a member of the group. But not in this place.
Some neighbors say the drive-through restaurant, which will have limited indoor seating, would dump too much traffic into the neighborhoods just off Central Avenue. Porky’s will bring more crime, graffiti and litter, detractors also say.
Finally, Porky’s foes have expressed concern that Porky’s will attract the classic car crowd that has attached itself to the Porky’s on University Avenue in St. Paul.
As part of the zoning committee’s approval, Truelson must agree not to encourage the classic car crew to show up on Central if he wants to build in Minneapolis.
Ah, yes. The dreaded “neighborhood activists” are sounding off. They’re the ones that have basically shut down the hot rod cruise on University and Snelling on Saturday nights, the ones that extincted the Midway’s biggest, coolest June event, the Minnesota Street Rod Association cruise nights during their annual weekend convention. Cars – the most amazing assortment of hot rods you’ve ever seen – would jam Snelling and University for miles, from Porky’s up Snelling to the Fairgrounds and down Uni to the Capitol…
…until the “neighborhood activists” got it shut down. They couldn’t let other people be different from them for one lousy night a year.
These are, largely, the same people who are pressing for more mass transit, people who are “happy to pay for a better Minnesota”, people who vote for Metrocrat DFLers.
In other words, they want to live in a big, cosmopolitan city – but they can’t seem to stand people doing the legal, fun things people do in big, cosmopolitan cities. These dolts want all the benefits of city life, and they want it to be as loud as an Iowa cornfield, 24/7/365, in the bargain.
I’m about ready to declare war on this hamsters. They should…:
- either learn to compromise once in a while, and recognize that their blessed “diversity” includes “diversity of recreation” and “diversity of noise tolerance”
- or, if at the end of the day they really find the scrum and bustle of city life so intolerable, move to friggin Burnsville or Chanhassen or Hugo and leave the city to those of us who appreciate it.
Rybak, for once, is right. But he might not know why.
November 28th, 2006 at 8:26 am
“These are, largely, the same people who are pressing for more mass transit, people who are “happy to pay for a better Minnesota”, people who vote for Metrocrat DFLers.”
What evidence do you base this “same people” concept on?
November 28th, 2006 at 10:34 am
What evidence do you base this “same people” concept on
Knowing them. Meeting them at Hamline-Midway Coalition meetings. Sharing a neighborhood with them.
They’re the same people who got the vapors when Randy Kelly endorsed George Bush; the same who manipulated the law to drive a gun shop out of the neighborhood (who was not just an aggressively law-abiding business, but in fact a pillar of the community).
One and the same.
November 28th, 2006 at 11:20 am
Shabadoo must live in the Burbs. The “people” in these districts vote 60% DFL and 10% green. They are my neighbors. I know who is on the local neighborhood council and I know their politics. It’s the same liberal busy bodies that support smoking bans and want to make it illegal to walk in alleys.
These are the morons that should really move to the burbs because they all crave conformity.
November 28th, 2006 at 12:15 pm
You are saying you have met the NE Mpls neighborhood activists who oppose this at a Hamline-Midway Coalition Meeting? So do you actually know them or are you guessing? If you are guessing, that is fine. Basically I agree with your main point. I just think you undermine it by generalizing so much. Personally, I don’t think you can paint with such a broad brush just because an area votes DFL when the GOP doesn’t offer much in the way of a viable alternative.
I live in downtown Minneapolis with my wife and daughter and I live just blocks from strip clubs, sex shops etc. I don’t have a problem with them. I’ve been part of neighborhood groups and I can say I have seen neighborhoods in favor of businesses, higher density, etc.
November 28th, 2006 at 12:30 pm
You are saying you have met the NE Mpls neighborhood activists who oppose this at a Hamline-Midway Coalition Meeting?
Not as such – although I used to live in NE Mpls, and might have met some of them. But…
So do you actually know them or are you guessing?
Call it an “educated guess” – edumacated enough that I’d be really amazed if I were wrong. Patterns matter.
I agree with your main point. I just think you undermine it by generalizing so much.
Yeah, maybe. But I can’t attend every meeting in the Twin Cities. I can barely stand my own neighborhood council’s meetings.
November 28th, 2006 at 12:40 pm
They’re the same “people” that we have up here in the sticks that are anti-atv’s. they want the “forest” (all 288,000 acres of Beltrami State Forest!) to be ATV-free cuz they like to walk in the quietness. Well, I pick blueberries out there and never hear anything but a bluejay. And, for the most part, neither do they, but it’s “possible” they could hear an ATV and then it would simply RUIN their “experience”. Puke. And over 2000+ people showed up at a community meeting and told them to get lost.
November 28th, 2006 at 1:34 pm
Porky’s foes have expressed concern that Porky’s will attract the classic car crowd…
Rybak, other city officials and those that elected them are just fine with policies that attract or at least don’t deter the drive by shooting crowd, the armed robbery at light rail stations crowd or the running a meth lab in their house crowd.
They must, however, draw the line at the dreaded classic car crowd.
November 28th, 2006 at 2:19 pm
http://www.startribune.com/332/story/835883.html
Apple Valley residents opposed to a Super Target. Are these the “same people”?
November 28th, 2006 at 2:39 pm
Are these the “same people”?
Don’t know. I don’t live there, and don’t follow Apple Valley politics.
But since my city and neighborhood had the exact same debate – over hot rods and cruising and the “noise” and all those “car people” that the Saturday Night Cruise in the Midway used to draw – my connection doesn’t seem all that stretchy to me.
November 28th, 2006 at 3:08 pm
Didn’t Midway just have the SuperTarget debate too?
November 28th, 2006 at 3:23 pm
If you had a good burger or an order of heavenly onion rings at the Porky’s on West Lake in 1976, I might have made it. Of course I take no responsibility for any bad food served there.
November 28th, 2006 at 4:53 pm
Didn’t Midway just have the SuperTarget debate too?
Yep. The usual suspects want all business in the Midway to be mom-and-pop kite stores and transit-friendly aromatherapy shops.
If you had a good burger or an order of heavenly onion rings at the Porky’s on West Lake in 1976
That woulda been six years before I came to the Cities for the first time.
Speaking of West Lake – the place I miss was “Froggy’s”, over on Lake and Dupont; I can still taste the hot italian subs they made. Yummm! But it’s been gone since like 1987.
November 28th, 2006 at 8:28 pm
According to The Rake magazine, “the hamburgers are clearly made with human hands.” Might as well call it “Ed Gein’s Place.” “Handburgers” alone are reason enough to oppose a Porky’s in Minneapolis.
http://events.rakemag.com/rm4/restaurant_guide_729.aspx?RESTAURANT_ID=1376
November 28th, 2006 at 10:22 pm
Terry,
I remember the Porky’s at West Lake. It’s now a strip mall. I bet Don Fraser was tickled pink(o).
November 29th, 2006 at 11:27 am
The PiPress did a story about this a few weeks ago.
http://www.twincities.com/mld/twincities/15954683.htm
My favorite piece from the article: ‘Rybak said, he “would walk across glass on my knees for Porky’s onion rings.”‘
November 29th, 2006 at 11:53 am
Kermit-
A strip mall? That’s progress, I guess. That area was dying back then. In the late 70’s there was a fire in the grain elevators down by the Lincoln Dell and the area smelt like burnt toast for weeks. Ah! The nostalgia! I can still remember what a dork I was.
(cue wavy flashback lines)
Cute Porky’s carhop: Gee Terry, what’ya doing after work?
Me: I’m going to see Star Wars again. This ‘ll be my seventeenth time!
Cute Porky’s carhop: I’ve heard that movie is so cool! I really want to see it!
Me: You should. If you go before four it’s a dollar cheaper! So long!
December 2nd, 2006 at 10:07 pm
Sorry folks, but I’ve got to say the Mayor and Council Member Ostrow are in the wrong on the Porky’s project. (And incidentally, they both backed the smoking ban which I also thought they were wrong on).
There’s two factors to this that everybody ought to know:
The site is not zoned for a business like Porky’s. The argument is mainly around the fact that they want to get an exemption to the zoning and that kinda bothers the people who have built their homes and businesses in an area that isn’t zoned for this type of business.
I’ve got some issues with Minneapolis being overly zoned, but frankly, if someone bought the residential lot next to mine and put in a drive through, I’d be pretty ticked off because I bought my house partially based on the fact that it was set in the middle of residentially zoned lots. I really do think that if anyone wants an exemption to the zoning that they’re in, they should be required to get the permission of the people that own the land around them and who will be impacted by that change.
In a similar light, I don’t think its right that a business should be able to be “run out” of an area because the neighborhood around it has changed.
THe second factor is related to the first. The site they want to put Porky’s on is smack in the middle of the Central Ave “main street” plan. Some time ago, this plan was put together for that area and a lot of people have put a lot of time and money into building that vision. People have bought houses and businesses and invested money and time and effort into the area based on that plan and it is not fair to them to change the rules because the mayor wants Onion rings right there.
There are plenty of places in Minneapolis that this business can go that won’t require zoning changes and there are probably quite a few places where they’d be willing to make the change. That stretch of Central isn’t one of them.
Besides that stretch already has Sully’s and the Ideal Diner if you want good burger and fries type cooking. It also has a Burger King if that’s your thing. And a whole lot of other restaurants.
If Porky’s comes up with a business plan that fits the zoning of that area, then I’ll support them but I won’t support pulling the rug out from all the people who were already there.
December 7th, 2006 at 11:09 pm
Phaedrus is right. The main issue here is zoning and the fact that the lot is too small: less than 1/3 of an acre. Porky’s will have 9 parking spots and focus on putting as much business through the drive-through. In St. Paul, Porky’s has around an acre and still they can’t accomodate their traffic.
Of course land use doesn’t make for very good press, so the press highlights a more divisive issue: hot rod. Traffic will definitely be an issue with the drive-through taking traffic off the commercial street onto a residential street. But hot rods won’t be the ones ripping up the street, it will be the wanna-bes who want to be seen with hot rods.
If Porky’s made two changes (remove the drive-through and get a bigger lot), neighbors would not be as upset. Instead, the mayor and council member have jammed a square peg into a round onion ring.