If A Tree Fell In The Woods…
By Mitch Berg
…and no hyperdramatic conspiracy-mongering jagoffs were there to hear it, would it exist?
9/11/07
GENERAL STRIKE
THIS SEPTEMBER 11TH: NO WORK, NO SCHOOL, NO SHOPPING.
HIT THE STREETS.
Wow. Sounds like a big deal…
…er, wait. Maybe not:
Get Cindy Sheehan, World Can’t Wait and other anti-war voices on board…
This strike is meant to be as broad as possible. We need people like this to get involved. Please use any means you can to approach these people, respectfully of course, and encourage them to get on board. How could Cindy Sheehan refuse a call for a General Strike against Torture, Lies, and Tyranny!? And remember, this is a broad-based, decentralized call, no one is in charge, no one issue takes precedence. This for all the people across this country who are fed up and ready to do something powerful in the name of decency, truth, and legitimate government.
I bet the meeting went something like this:
MUFFY CARLETON-BURFLINGER: “Order! Order, everyone! Moonrabbit, will you please give the invocation?”
MOONRABBIT WELLSTONE HARFANGER: “Our wellstone, who art in herven, hallowed be thy legacy. Thy agenda come, thy will be done, in Minneapolis as it is in Washington. Give us this day are daily latte, and forgive us our lack of zeal, as we tolerate those who don’t think the government was behind 9/11 [muffled grunts of affirmation] . And lead us not into the presence of Limbaugh, and deliver us from Bush, for thine is the non-patriarchal commune, and the collective power, and the inclusive glory, forever, a-women!”
IAN MICAH BLOTNIK: “Attention, comrades! The General Strike website is launching Monday!”
MC-B: “Excellent! And Cindy Sheehan’s on board?”
IMB: “Er…Huh?”
MC-B: “Sheehan. Cindy. Anti-war activist. You were supposed to get her on board with the General Strike before the site launched…”
IMB: “Um, no, Muffy, I was so not. I was working on the website, dee-duh-deee. It was someone else’s job”.
MC-B: (Sighs wearily). “OK. Um…was it you?” (points to…)
HUNTER PETERSON-PETERSON-TORSTENGAARD-PETERSON: “Like, um, no! I had a victimization studies final I had to, totally, like, prep for”.
MC-B: “Who took the minutes from the last meeting? Joshua?”
JOSHUA MICAH LENFESTEY-BENANAV: “Um, that’s Joshua-Micah, hello?”
MC-B: “Yeah, like, whatevs, did you take the minutes?”
JML-B: “Like minute-taking is totally fascist. I didn’t like do it”.
MC-B: (Signs, wearilier) “OK, like, totally, like, this sucks. What are we gonna do?”
HP-P-T-P: “We could totally blame Pawlenty for failing to fund organization classes for high school kids!”
MC-B: “That, like, like, like, like, like, is a good idea”.
JML-B: “But, like, didn’t we all go to private schools?”
HP-P-T-P: “What’s the difference?”
MC-B: “Oh, like, I’ll totally write something. Cyndi will come through for us!”
ALL: “Cyndi!”
(Meeting adjourns as website launches, drawing ten billion hits on the Daily Kos).
To them, it’s a general strike.
To me, it’s a day with ten fewer oil-belching Subarus on the road.
UPDATE: I got a ticket from the grammar police. But I won’t say where.
August 14th, 2007 at 6:22 am
“Signs, wearilier”? Is that something they do in private school?
August 14th, 2007 at 8:23 am
“NO WORK”
I guess I’ll have to bag my own groceries on that day.
August 14th, 2007 at 8:53 am
A few posts down at strike911.org advertises Reverend Rich “Street Theatre” Lang’s call to action in Seattle. I checked out his full town crier, and found this gem:
“Imagine surrounding the PI or King or KOMO with pots and pans, circling the building seven times and each time mounting a thunderous roar of IMPEACH THEM ALL. Or imagine, performing creative and bold actions of civil disobedience that compel the media to acknowledge and hear our voice, loud, strong and clear. Imagine thousands of people with tape on their mouth, muzzled and doing a die-in at FOX to demonstrate the logical consequence of a nuclear attack on Iran. Imagine the nude bicyclists of the Fremont Fair streaking throughout the city as a living reminder that this administration is stripping us of our civil rights. Imagine every kid from every high school walking out of class and surrounding Military Recruiter sites with the all day chant, “NO MORE LIES!”. All on the same day, all in groups of tens, of hundreds, of thousands; and all without getting permits or permission from the authorities that would dare to bind us in chains in the graveyard of silence.”
Imagine indeed. I’d love to see sane Seattle residents pwning this play-actor.
August 14th, 2007 at 9:54 am
The right’s “alleged” hate speech, but no according to you, it’s really the left
In the next breath, “…and no hyperdramatic conspiracy-mongering jagoffs were there to hear it, would it exist?”
Alleged and proven, beyond all doubt. Jagoff- yeah, that’s love. and making up conversations when you don’t have any facts, that’s the epitome of decent conduct.
August 14th, 2007 at 10:03 am
The right’s “alleged” hate speech, but no according to you, it’s really the left
What on earth does that sentence mean, PB?
making up conversations when you don’t have any facts, that’s the epitome of decent conduct.
Egad, you’ve blown the lid off the entire fiction industry, to say nothing of satire!
What will John Stewart do?
August 14th, 2007 at 10:17 am
So what do people who don’t work for a living, strike against? Is this like the student strike in Frawnce?
August 14th, 2007 at 10:25 am
A “strike” implies you will be picketing and employer. I guess we all better stay clear of the Starbucks and McDonalds on 9/11…all those kiddies will be marching and howling at the moon.
August 14th, 2007 at 12:13 pm
You got the Martin Chuzzlewit reference yet you write “ten less oil-belching Subarus”?
Your monarchist English prof mentor is no doubt rolling over in his grave. Unless he’s alive, in which case he’s likely a delegate to the Democratic national convention.
August 14th, 2007 at 12:19 pm
You got the Martin Chuzzlewit reference yet you write “ten less oil-belching Subarus”?
S**t happens (if you eat the right food and drink enough water). I was writing really fast.
Your monarchist English prof mentor is no doubt rolling over in his grave. Unless he’s alive, in which case he’s likely a delegate to the Democratic national convention.
Nah, still a monarchist the last I checked (a year or two back).
August 14th, 2007 at 12:25 pm
“Imagine thousands of people with tape on their mouth, muzzled and doing a die-in at FOX to demonstrate the logical consequence of a nuclear attack on Iran.”
I wasn’t aware there was going to be a nuclear attack on Iran, but if the consequence is going to be thousands of people with tape on their mouth’s doing a die-in at FOX, then so be it. Not like we are losing anyone productive.
“Imagine the nude bicyclists of the Fremont Fair streaking throughout the city as a living reminder that this administration is stripping us of our civil rights.”
The administration wants me to bicycle naked? They should really reconsider that one. Or I need to get a different bike seat.
August 14th, 2007 at 12:45 pm
A banana seat maybe Buzzkill?
August 14th, 2007 at 3:18 pm
I go away to the cabin for a few days and I return to find this…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6BEsZMvrq-I
Brilliant – brilliant and priceless…!
August 14th, 2007 at 3:22 pm
AC: Though angry, you are at times quite funny. 😀
I wonder if Reverend Lang attended the recent San Fran World Naked Bike ride. You can see the “TMI” details at Zombie’s site (warning: graphic, no banana seats).
August 14th, 2007 at 3:51 pm
Gee, Doug, didn’t something happen between 1994 and March of 2003 . . . something involving a rogue state sponsoring the deadliest attack in American history . . . something in the Autumn of 2001, maybe?
August 14th, 2007 at 4:07 pm
Yeah, Doug, don’t you watch FOX? Saddam Hussein and John Kerry orchestrated 9/11. Not bin Laden and Zawahiri.
August 14th, 2007 at 7:53 pm
“A banana seat ” Geeze, just thinking about riding a bicycle with nothing holding the good parts out of the way make me break out in a sweat. One unscheduled quick stop and next thing you know…I’m a liberal.
“Gee, Doug, didn’t something happen between 1994 and March of 2003 . . . something involving a rogue state sponsoring the deadliest attack in American history . . . something in the Autumn of 2001, maybe?”
I think the point there is that we could no longer consider threats against the US harmless. No longer could we figure nut cases might bluster to play to their crowd, but no one is crazy enough to do anything really bad us. In other words, Bin Laden escalated past the free pass we were giving out for the occasional embassy bombing, terrorist bounties, airplane and cruise ship hijackings etc and ruined it for everyone else.
So clown, I am assuming YOUR not going to be riding naked on one of those unicycle are you? Cause no one wants to see that. Maybe you could do it in one of those little cars, but frankly the idea of 30 naked clowns stuffing into a little bitty space…….while there may be a market for clown porn, it’s got to be a small one. If you got to do it, please keep it in NYC. Hell, you might even get a NEA grant for it.
August 14th, 2007 at 8:29 pm
buzz said,
“I think the point there is that we could no longer consider threats against the US harmless.”
But that’s not what Terry is saying is it…? Terry is saying that Iraq was complicit and involved in the 9-11 attacks and so, the war against Iraq was justified.
August 14th, 2007 at 8:33 pm
Oh and Terry? Two things… FOX canceled the Half Hour News Hour. Sorry. There goes your chance to use your wit and hilarity and everything Cheney predicted in 1994 and was reiterated in 2003 by us wacky liberals has essentially come to pass…
Ha Ha.
August 14th, 2007 at 9:38 pm
Doug, have you ever considered surgery to remove that stick lodged in your rectum?
It might improve your wit.
August 14th, 2007 at 9:52 pm
“But that’s not what Terry is saying is it…?”
Actually, I think that’s exactly what Terry is saying.
August 15th, 2007 at 2:17 am
Wrong Doug. Let’s jump into the wayback machine, shall we?
In October 2002 the senate passed HJR 114. This was the defacto declaration of war against Iraq. Without HJR 114 there would be no Iraq war. The text is here: http://frwebgate.access.gpo.gov/cgi-bin/getdoc.cgi?dbname=107_cong_bills&docid=f:hj114enr.txt.pdf
I wish more lefties would read the damn thing because it lays out exactly why the house & senate thought that Bush should have the authority to go to war with Saddam’s Iraq. It doesn’t say anything about Iraq being involved in the 9/11 attacks. Hillary Clinton voted for HJR 114. So did Chaz Schumer. So did John Kerry. Did they think Iraq was involved in 9/11?
After 9/11 the United States made a political decision that it was no longer acceptable that Saddam Hussein violate the terms of the ceasefire it signed in 1991. That’s it. Clinton, Kerry, and Schumer are politicians and lawyers. They knew what they were agreeing to. If the war had been settled in 6 months — even with 10,000 American casualties — they would be running on their pro-war record instead of trying to hide from it.
I
August 15th, 2007 at 3:26 am
I’m going to add a 2nd part to my comment.
Doug & pals seem to think all conservatives believe that Iraq was complicit in 9/11 and it just ain’t true.
Almost 3,000 people died in the WTC attacks. It could have been 30,000, but the al qaida terrorists were limited by logistics. They needed to board aircraft that were uncrowded and yet would be nearly full of jet fuel when they struck their East Coast targets. This meant that they had to board early morning flights in the Northeast. They were stuck with hitting the WTC, Pentagon, and at least one other DC target with planes they boarded very early in the AM. If they had had their way they would have hit their targets in late morning or early afternoon and killed ten times 2,974 innocent civilians.
The attack was financed & carried out by a terrorist group that was protected by the government of Afghanistan.
The US made a political decision, with all due deliberation, that governments that sponsored or protected terrorists would henceforth be treated as hostile powers.
Top on the list of these governments was Iraq.
Iraq never surrendered after the 1st Gulf War. It was a nation ruled by a small number of people for the benefit of the leader’s family and his clansmen. This leader had a known history of using WMD’s against internal and external enemies, and also had a history of aggressively stupid judgment about attacking other countries. The leader was known to have violated the terms of the 1991 ceasefire restrictions about keeping old stockpiles of WMD’s or developing new WMD. His cooperation with the UN WMD inspectors was so abysmal that they had left in 1998 because they couldn’t do their job.
The threat implicit in HJR 114 forced Saddam to resume the inspections, but he kept up his old practice of intimidating inspectors and blocking the inspection of arbitrarily chosen areas. Hans Blix was the head of the inspection team and he refused to certify that Iraq was compliant with UN resolution 1441, the UNSC resolution that threatens Iraq with “serious consequences” (UNSC speak for war) if it is found in “material breach” of UN res 1441.
On March 17th, 2003, Bush offered peace if Saddam and his clansman would leave Iraq. Saddam refused. On march 19 the bombs started falling.
August 15th, 2007 at 6:30 am
Terry blundered: “Gee, Doug, didn’t something happen between 1994 and March of 2003 . . . something involving a rogue state sponsoring the deadliest attack in American history . . . ”
The rest is backpedaling.
So why should we take you seriously on this issue Terry?
August 15th, 2007 at 7:07 am
And while we wait for Terry’s response, angryclown, we should take you seriously on this issue because…?
August 15th, 2007 at 7:24 am
You shouldn’t Troy. You’re not actually bright enough to benefit from anything Angryclown has to say. Here’s what you do: start watdhing Sesame Street now and work your way up to functional literacy. Get back to Angryclown in about 20 years.
August 15th, 2007 at 8:17 am
Terry said, well… who really cares…
In 1994, Cheney laid out exactly why it would be foolish and a huge policy mistake to invade Iraq. In 2003, President Cheney and Faux-President Bush launched the invasion that Cheney himself had warned against.
Iraq was no more a threat in 2003 than they were in 1994. Colin Powell and Condaleezza Rice BOTH confirmed in 2001 that Iraq had been effectively contained and was not a threat to the US and Hans Blix established that the evidence of any threat from Iraq was FAR from conclusive. In fact, Blix’s assessment was confirming the earlier assessment of Scott Ridder from 1998 that Iraq’s weapons programs were destroyed in the Gulf War and that any weapons program was non-existent in function – existing ONLY as an idea.
August 15th, 2007 at 8:20 am
“Fsck you Hans Brix!”
August 15th, 2007 at 1:18 pm
Don’t worry, angryclown, I don’t.
I do suppose I would have to be pretty bright to make something beneficial from what is mostly B.S., but sometimes I do. *shrug*
Did you watch Sesame Street when you were young, angryclown? Since you’ve ignored the fact that I’d need to be functionally literate to be aware of your “advice”, perhaps you can take in a few more of those shows yourself. 😉
August 15th, 2007 at 2:47 pm
Doug wrote:
“In 2003, President Cheney and Faux-President Bush launched the invasion that Cheney himself had warned against.
Once again the real world proves to have been different than Doug’s imaginary world.
In October 1992 HJR 114, an effective declaration of war againast Iraq, was approved by clear, bipartisan majorities in the house and senate. In the spring of 2003 opinion polls showed that going to war with Iraq was supported by 72% of the American public.
And “faux-president’? Bush won a majority in the electoral college and was duly sworn into office. No one else was. Your hatred of Bush has rendered you an imbecile, Doug.
August 15th, 2007 at 3:22 pm
Um, so Terry, about that “rogue state sponsoring the deadliest attack in American history” thing. Was that an acid flashback and we should just let you slide? Or do you actually believe that?
August 15th, 2007 at 4:21 pm
Clown-
I was writing about afghanistan, fuckwad.
August 15th, 2007 at 4:46 pm
Was 1994 before or after 2001?
August 15th, 2007 at 6:22 pm
Terry said,
“I was writing about afghanistan, fuckwad.”
Ahhh! I see… Just so were all clear about this…
Cheney cautions about invading Iraq in 1994, Afghanistan sponsors a terrorist attack so Cheney flip-flops on his position on Iraq and supports an invasion of Iraq…
You must get up awfully early in the morning to put your brain through those rigorous cerebral calisthenics.
“In October 1992 HJR 114, an effective declaration of war againast (sic) Iraq, was approved”
HJR 114 was approved in 2002 you snot-picking moron. Further retardo, HJR 114 gave the President the authority to use military force if necessary. It did not require him to use it once it was granted.
There were no weapons. There was no threat to this country.
“In the spring of 2003 opinion polls showed that going to war with Iraq was supported by 72% of the American public.”
So what? What do opinion polls of consumers of media have to do with policy decisions to go to war? Just because 72% of Americans were fed a daily helping of pro-war saber rattling and drum beating doesn’t mean it was the right decision. The other 28% of us who knew it was all bullshit tried to tell you dead-enders the facts but you had your heads stuck so far up your FOX News asses that you could hear us screaming our heads off.
August 15th, 2007 at 6:25 pm
Sponsored? Afghanistan certainly harbored many of those responsible for 9/11, which was plenty enough to justify the invasion of that country. But we were talking about Iraq. Which is a different country. Like North Korea’s a different country. Or Madagascar. Or Canada.
But I’m glad to see you’ve had the good sense to retract your bonehead statement after recognizng that even your fellow wingnuts were backing away from it.
August 15th, 2007 at 6:54 pm
Hate to break it to you Dougy boy, but I don’t watch any news program, Fox or otherwise. Your side found the video of Cheney and because it fit your preconceived notions that 9/11 changed nothing and made no difference in how the US should deal with rogue, terrorist supporting regimes, you call it a flip-flop. Yet the dems last presidential candidate voted for the war, and the next likely candidate (Clinton) voted for it as well. Now they say they shouldn’t have.
That is a flip-flop of a much higher order than anything Cheney has done that contradicted an obscure c-span interview in 1994. I know you hate to consider historical context, but in 1994 we still had inspectors in the country and Saddam’s then ongoing WMD program was still undiscovered.
Keep a copy of hjr 114 on your computer. The next time you hear some dem trying to hide from the fact that they voted for it, read it.
August 15th, 2007 at 7:28 pm
Terry admitted: “I don’t watch any news program, Fox or otherwise.”
Of course. TV interferes with the signals Jesus transmits from his spaceship into your brain. Any newspapers? Radio? Or does information make it hard for you to maintain your unique view of the world?
August 15th, 2007 at 9:03 pm
Terry. You’re a moron.
I don’t give a flying fig if you watch TV to get your news. You are a part of the 72% and you got your information from the media. The media, whether it was TV, newspapers in this country, magazines or the internet was WRONG. You seem to be willfully ignorant of the fact that international media organizations were reporting on the dubious claims being made by the administration about WMD’s and the implied threats to this country.
“Your side found the video of Cheney and because it fit your preconceived notions that 9/11 changed nothing and made no difference in how the US should deal with rogue, terrorist supporting regimes, you call it a flip-flop.”
But Terry, we didn’t invade Iraq because it was a rogue, terrorist supporting regime. That was Afghanistan remember? You said it yourself.
We found the video of Cheney and because it fit what President George Herbert Walker Bush said about Iraq, it fit what Brent Scowcroft said about Iraq, it fit with what Colin Powell and Condaleezza said about Iraq and it fit what Bill Clinton and nearly every other world leader said about Iraq, we find it a bit suspicious that he suddenly took a 180 degree turn knowing that it was a recipe for disaster.
“Yet the dems last presidential candidate voted for the war, and the next likely candidate (Clinton) voted for it as well. Now they say they shouldn’t have.”
They did NOT vote for the war you idiot. They voted to give the President the authority to use military force if necessary to protect the United States against the alleged threat of attack and to force Iraq to adhere to UN resolutions. The Democrats now say they shouldn’t have voted to give Bush the unchecked power.
“I know you hate to consider historical context, but in 1994 we still had inspectors in the country and Saddam’s then ongoing WMD program was still undiscovered.”
U.N.: Iraq had no WMD after 1994
http://www.usatoday.com/news/world/iraq/2004-03-02-un-wmd_x.htm
August 16th, 2007 at 5:35 am
“I don’t give a flying fig if you watch TV to get your news.”
Yet you wrote:
“You are a part of the 72% and you got your information from the media. The media, whether it was TV, newspapers in this country, magazines or the internet was WRONG. You seem to be willfully ignorant of the fact that international media organizations were reporting on the dubious claims being made by the administration about WMD’s and the implied threats to this country.”
Can’t keep your arguments straight anymore, I guess.
All of these people with their “heads stuck so far up your FOX News asses that you could hear us screaming our heads off.” included Hillary Clinton, Chuck Schumer, and John Kerry.
Al Gore believed that Saddam had WMD as well. His big difference with the administration was that he thought that the problem could be dealt with diplomatically.
Here’s Blix in his report to the UN in January of 2003:
“Iraq appears not to have come to a genuine acceptance — not even today — of the disarmament, which was demanded of it and which it needs to carry out to win the confidence of the world and to live in peace.”
Guess Blix watches Fox news, too.
“But Terry, we didn’t invade Iraq because it was a rogue, terrorist supporting regime. That was Afghanistan remember? You said it yourself.”
It’s called “drawing a parallel”, Doug. Iraq was a rogue regime. It had been under UN sanctions since 1990, and US sanctions since 1979, the latter for supporting terrorist elements of the PLO (Abu Nidal) and the former for invading Kuwait and, after the Gulf War, for not honoring the terms of the 1991 ceasefire. These sanctions were only lifted after Saddam was overthrown.
August 16th, 2007 at 8:29 am
Follow along dunder head.
I said, “What do opinion polls of consumers of media have to do with policy decisions to go to war? Just because 72% of Americans were fed a daily helping of pro-war saber rattling and drum beating doesn’t mean it was the right decision.
You responded, ““I don’t watch any news program, Fox or otherwise.””
I said you got your information from the media. Got it? The Media…
“All of these people with their “heads stuck so far up your FOX News asses that you could hear us screaming our heads off.” included Hillary Clinton, Chuck Schumer, and John Kerry.”
Gee you think? Terry gets a cookie for finally getting it.
And remember the Office of Special Plans Terry? Why do you think that members of Congress, who got the “same intelligence that the White House got”, believed Iraq had WMD’s…?
You do realize that the “same intelligence that the White House got” line is semantic three card monty don’t you?
“Guess Blix watches Fox news, too.”
I doubt it. FOX News was reporting that Iraq had WMD’s. You do understand what Blix is saying right? Blix is not saying there are still WMD’s in Iraq. He’s saying that Iraq has not, unlike South Africa, come to the same acceptance of the inspections process.
Keep in mind, we weren’t threatening to bomb South Africa back into the stone age and South Africa doesn’t have Iran as it’s neighbor so the circumstances are just a bit different.
August 16th, 2007 at 4:52 pm
Oh and Terry?
enjoy…