The Bridge: He Can Tell You ‘Bout The Plane Crash With A Twinkle In His Eye

I watched a bunch of coverage of the Bridge disaster last night. 

I wanted to figure out how to criticize Don Shelby’s unctuous – and eventually revoltingly-politicized – commentary as succinctly as possible.

Fortunately, The Elder – who at least works in the same building as engineers – is on duty, wielding deft satire…:

 The Don Shelby Credibility Bridge–spanning the divide between the local anchorman’s ego and reality–collapsed without warning shortly before 10pm this evening. Preliminary indications are that a massive failure in Shelby’s structural integrity led to the collapse.

 …and a fact-checking machete:

The man’s self-importance knows no limits and it was on display for all to see this evening. At a time when the news coverage should have focused solely on rescue and recovery efforts, Shelby almost immediately launched into discussions about the possible causes of the collapse and where blame could be assigned. He was obviously getting all his information on bridge structures and engineering from other sources, but he rarely if ever mentioned them, giving the viewer the impression that HE DON SHELBY knew all about such matters and was able and willing to start drawing conclusions while the rubble was still settling. It was a disgusting display of arrogance with an almost total absence of wisdom.

RARE COMPLIMENT ALERT:  The Twin Cities daily newspapers have, at first glance, done a decent job with their coverage. 

41 thoughts on “The Bridge: He Can Tell You ‘Bout The Plane Crash With A Twinkle In His Eye

  1. I watched Ch 4 last night, and can not argue with your/elder’s take. I felt uncomfortable listening to it and even looked at my wife and said:

    “Come on Don, this isn’t the time for that!!”

    I like Shelby, I think he is the best in the city, but he was out of line last night!

    Flash

  2. Channel 5 had by far the best coverage. They had live footage from the air WAY before the other 2 nets, and were putting in some good leather getting on the spot interviews. The anchors in the studio basically shut up and just filled time until the reporters on scene could get another interview.

  3. I think you should withhold judgement on the local newspaper coverage until you’ve read the column that just went up online from Nick Coleman.

    I didn’t watch ‘CCO. I was engrossed by the absolutely appalling coverage from Fox News (National). Shepard Smith put on the most pathetic display of conjecture and misinformed conclusion making that I have ever seen.

    At one point he turned to “former Minneapolis (actually Anoka) resident” Gretchen Carlson for her supposed expert opinion, ’cause she’s, like, from here so she must have something to offer.

    She reached deep into her vast expanse of Former Miss America knowledge and offered us, “There’s been a major heat wave going on in Minnesota. That may have played a role in this.”

  4. The Twins telecast was a surreal experience. I don’t disagree with the decision to play the game and keep 25K people occupied in the dome, but knowing that the fans were aware of what was happening a few blocks away made the cheering crowd shots seem pretty eerie.

  5. I thought that KMSP’s coverage was stellar. The anchors didn’t overdramatize, they didn’t preach (like DFL Don) they just told folks what was happening and if they didn’t know something THEY DIDN’T OPEN THEIR MOUTHS ABOUT IT…

    LL

  6. I think you should withhold judgement on the local newspaper coverage until you’ve read the column that just went up online from Nick Coleman.

    I’ve always said it; there are (or were) excellent *reporters* at the Strib. And loathsome columnists and editorial writers. I try to separate ’em.

    Of course, every 2-4 years, they cross; see “Alan Fine, Wife-Beater”.

  7. I noticed that too about KSTP. They were first and best.

    Nicky Cooleman is blaming the govnernor and Pres Bush for the crash. Always a class ass.

  8. KSTP would be first. The bridge is all of what, 8 blocks away? The wife was clicking all the stations, but I have an auto-reflex. Whenever I see Don Shelby I look elsewhere. Like at my computer screen.

  9. I think Channel 4 is closer to the bridge itself by a nose – but getting down University during rush hour might be faster than trying to bulldoze up to Washington from 11th and Nicollet.

  10. Doesn’t KSTP keep their chopper on site? I can’t see WCCO putting one on the roof downtown.

  11. As sad as the film was, I still got a small smile from the photos – not a hybrid in sight! Lots of trucks and SUV’s. That’s what a freeway is meant to carry.

  12. KSTP announced first, then had a phone report, then a fuzzy ‘copter view. Then the others came on. At least that’s what I saw while watching the 6PM news last night.

    Hey, Drudge is reporting the Pres Bush is visiting the site on Saturday. Hmm, the President is going to the center of anti-Bush hatred in Minnesota. Should be interesting. As he is handing out free money, Mpls wackos will be yelling obscenities at him.

  13. Quicker than 9/11. Took him four days to come out of hiding and show up in New York.

  14. As bad as this was, I don’t think it compares to a large scale attack on the US. I don’t believe Roosevelt, who himself never served, flew to Pearl Harbor on December 8th.

  15. Because on 9/12 angryclown was standing on the sidewalk, facing the smoking ruins, shaking his fist and shouting “Damn you, Osama! I know you did this!”
    Do you paint eyes on the back of your bald-cap to represent that 20/20 hind-sight?

  16. Wow, Chuck. That’s stupid even for you. New York is a 45-minute flight from Washington. 4 hours by car.

    Not sure which war you wanted Roosevelt to fight in. He was 16 when cousin Teddy charged up San Juan Hill. 35 and assistant secretary of the Navy when we got into WWI. He was President (not to mention paralyzed) at the start of WWII.

  17. Kermit blathered: “Because on 9/12 angryclown was standing on the sidewalk, facing the smoking ruins, shaking his fist and shouting “Damn you, Osama! I know you did this!”
    Do you paint eyes on the back of your bald-cap to represent that 20/20 hind-sight? ”

    Actually, Kerm, on Sept. 12, 2001 I rode the subway into work. Manhattan was inaccessible below 23rd Street, with cops and soldiers everywhere. But it was an easy thing to see the smoking ruin from where I worked – easier to smell. (It took months to totally extinguish the fire.) There were lots of bomb scares that day. One of the guys I worked with hadn’t heard from his brother-in-law, who worked in one of the towers. Turned out he was dead. Same story for a guy who lived on my block, a fireman.

    I’m guessing you were somewhere in the Twin Cities that day? Feel free to go fuck yourself, ‘kay?

  18. But Roosevelt sent 100’s of thousands of Americans to their deaths for a war to enrich his friends in Big Beer and Big Sushi. Why didn’t he enlist to fight in Central America or Mexico?

    Peace activists like Charles Lindbergh and Henry Ford said that if Roosevelt gets us involved in this war, it will be because of Churchill and the Jews.

    Wow, things haven’t changed much. Peace activist Cindy Sheehan said pretty much the same thing.

  19. “Quicker than 9/11. Took him four days to come out of hiding and show up in New York.”

    You pernicious little shit. We could have been in a state of live war (instead of the smoldering one we’re in now). For you to criticize Bush for following what are most likely established protocols applied to all Presidents, and inferring cowardice on him for doing so is the nadir of hubris.

    I was in the Twin cities that day, working right across the street from the IDS tower, tallest building East of Chicago, in the Dayton building. It could have been a target. The Sears Tower could have been a target. Every flipping building in America could have been a target. I knew exactly as much as you did.

  20. I used the Pearl Harbor comparison because from talking to a PH survivor, they had the same thoughts we did after 9/11. What’s next? In both cases we didn’t know if another, possibly larger attack was coming. He said they were convinced another one was on the way and slept outside (didn’t want to be caught in a building). Same with the President. He went to a safe location in Nebraska as we didn’t know what else was coming.

  21. “I’m guessing you were somewhere in the Twin Cities that day? Feel free to go fuck yourself, ‘kay?”

    And yet, having lived through that experience, you still feel compelled to chime in with your snark when we’re here and you’re, you know…there.

    Interesting.

  22. AssClown farted: “But it was an easy thing to see the smoking ruin from where I worked – easier to smell.”

    I hear this is a common occurance where ever AssClown sets up his shoeshine stand…in fact the word on the street is that he’s dragging the ruin and stink with him.

  23. “I was in the Twin cities that day, working right across the street from the IDS tower, tallest building East of Chicago, in the Dayton building. It could have been a target.”

    Wow, Kerm, you were across the street from the 44th (oops, 43rd! WTC is gone!) tallest building in the U.S.? Must have been scary! Though you’d probably have had a little warning. You know, if you heard on CNN that terrorists had attacked the Sears Tower, Empire State Building, Aon Center and Hancock Building in Chicago, Transamerica Tower in San Francisco, Bank of America Plaza in Atlanta, L.A.’s U.S. Bank Tower and bunch of buildings in Houston, Philly, Seattle, Cleveland, Dallas, Indianapolis and Pittsburgh. So you’d probably have had time to run away.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_tallest_buildings_in_the_United_States

  24. Frank Burns said: “You pernicious little shit. We could have been in a state of live war (instead of the smoldering one we’re in now). For you to criticize Bush for following what are most likely established protocols applied to all Presidents, and inferring cowardice on him for doing so is the nadir of hubris.”

    Jack Bauer: Mr. President, the World Trade Center has been attacked by terrorists flying hijacked jetliners. We believe another aircraft has hit the Pentagon. The FAA ordered a nationwide ground-stop, but there are still hundreds of commercial flights in the air.

    President Bush: Good God, we’re under attack. Get me Rumsfeld, Cheney – I need a secure line. Get me the General in command at NORAD…

    JB: Sir, I can’t do that. There are protocols for this situation.

    PB: Protocols?

    JB: Yes sir. We have very specific protocols that dictate your actions in the event of a major terrorist attack on the United States.

    PB: What are you talking about? I’m the President!

    JB: Protocol One, take this book.

    PB: “My Pet Goat?”

    JB: That’s right, sir. Go into the next room and read this book to the children.

    PB: WHAT? You’re relieved, Bauer! I’m the Commander in Chief of the United States and our country is under attack. I don’t have time for foolishness!

    JB: Sir, these are the protocols. We don’t know how many terrorists there are. Tens, more likely hundreds of thousands. It’s vital that the enemy mistakenly believe that you’re confused, disconnected, cowardly. If Al Gore had won the election, he’d be reading “My Pet Goat” to a roomful of small children right now. I’ve been awake for 23 hours, and you don’t even want to know about my daughter. There’s no time to lose, damn it!

    PB: What about Rudy Giuliani? Look at him on CNN – he’s already down at the site of the attack. Doesn’t he have protocols?

    JB: We think he’s one of them, sir.

    PB: Well, OK, I guess I can read the book…

    JB: Protocol Two. Get in Air Force One and fly randomly around the country.

    PB: But I need to get back to Washington!

    JB: Too dangerous, sir.

    PB: Well… do you think there will be more strikes?

    JB: Yes sir, we’re certain of that. They’ve attacked New York, Washington. Naturally we anticipate the next strike will come in…

    PB: MINNESOTA!

    JB: Yes sir, home of the IDS Center, the 43rd tallest building in America. And… 3M.

    PB: You mean?

    JB: Sir, we think the terrorists will try to take out America’s strategic access to Post-Its.

    PB: Oh God, Daddy told me this day might come!

    JB: Yes sir. That’s why you must adhere to the protocols. Now.

    PB: I understand, Bauer, it’s go time. Where’s that book?

    JB: Here it is, sir.

    PB: God bless you, Bauer.

  25. “Though you’d probably have had a little warning.”

    That’s the whole point you arrogant, self-righteous prig. No one knew what was happening. Not even you. Assuming your bold, heroic stand now is self serving. But I would expect no more.

  26. Chuckwagon said: “Same with the President. He went to a safe location in Nebraska as we didn’t know what else was coming.”

    Huh. JFK stayed in the White House during the Cuban Missile Crisis. Somebody must have misplaced the protocols.

  27. “JFK stayed in the White House during the Cuban Missile Crisis.”

    Marilyn Monroe was giving him the bedroom eyes. What would you have done?

  28. That’s the first thing I’ve read by AC that actually was funny. Good job!

    But no self-respecting jihadist would attack the Minnesota DMV, the Wells Fargo building, the Target building, or even the IDS.

    No, the mecca of targets in the Twin Cities is the Mall of America – the biggest, most blatant ostentatious consumerist hellmouth anywhere.

    Worse, they tore down the old Met Stadium to build it.

    Hell, I’m tempted to blow it up, myself.
    .

  29. It must’ve been wonderful to be able to walk so securely on 9/12 knowing which buildings were targeted by a band of suicidal fanatics. Of course, AC’s tinfoil hat made him invisible which only increased his level of security. You’d think AC’s wall of smug self satisfaction would stand out as a prime target for terrorists. I heard you can see the wall from space.

  30. JFK stayed in the White House during the Cuban Missile Crisis.

    I forget, Clown – how many died in Kruschev’s heinous surprise first strike?

  31. The continued reading of “My Pet Goat” is a reflection not only on Bush’s inept leadership, but also upon the incompetence of his staff members who didn’t know enough to pull him the hell out of there when he couldn’t figure out how to do it himself. As Al franken so eloquently put it (and I’m paraphrasing): “When Bush got the news of the 2nd plane hitting the tower, his facial expression revealed the fear and panic from the realization that a lifetime of intellectual laziness was now biting him in the ass.”

    The way some of you guys defend Bush is just sad. You guys were probably still blaming the media as the chopper was carrying Nixon away too.

  32. Nate informed: “But no self-respecting jihadist would attack the Minnesota DMV, the Wells Fargo building, the Target building, or even the IDS.”

    I’d be worried about the Target Building. Cause it’s, you know.

  33. Swiftee belched: “the word on the street”

    Oh, sorry to hear that, Swiftee. I’d heard your mom was working strictly indoors these days.

  34. The continued reading of “My Pet Goat” is a reflection not only on Bush’s inept leadership

    No, it’s more like this…

    “The continued reliance on the “my pet goat” meme is a reflection on the left’s lack of imagination and relentless obedience to talking points passed down from on high (from people who are, let’s be frank, not especially bright)”

    I live to serve.

  35. From CNN Larry King Interview (emphasis mine)

    “SEN KERRY: I was in the Capitol. We’d just had a meeting — we’d just come into a leadership meeting in Tom Daschle’s office, looking out at the Capitol. And as I came in, Barbara Boxer and Harry Reid were standing there, and we watched the second plane come in to the building. And we shortly thereafter sat down at the table and then we just realized nobody could think, and then boom, right behind us, we saw the cloud of explosion at the Pentagon. And then word came from the White House, they were evacuating, and we were to evacuate, and so we immediately began the evacuation.”

    From 9:03 to 9:43 40 minutes

    Tom Daschle — couldn’t think
    Barbara Boxer — couldn’t think
    Harry Reid — couldn’t think (still can’t)
    John Kerry — couldn’t think (never could)

    13 minutes before the Pentagon was struck, George Bush was addressing the nation saying we had suffered an “apparent terrorist attack”.

  36. MoN – don’t even bother responding to the whole “Pet Goat” thing. Wahabbi lefties recite it the way suicide bombers recite “allahu akbar”; there’s really no thought involved.

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.