Before The Truth Gets Its Pants On In The Morning
By Mitch Berg
SCENE: It’s MSNBC. A commentator is bellowing at the camera.
COMMENTATOR: Long Island Republican Congressman-elect George Santos is lying! Which means he’s no different than all Republicans!
SCENE: In a South African jail cell, three inmates are watching MSNBC
JOE BIDEN: The commentator is right. Republicans all lie.
CORN POP: Word up.
NELSON MANDELA: I”m so glad you left the leadership of the Delaware Civil RIghts movmement to come to jail, here in South Africa.
SCENE: In a classroom in Boulder, CO, watching MSNBC
RACHEL DOLEZAL: That’s right! Can I get an amen!
CLASROOM: (A few half-hearted or sarcastic “amens” ensue)
SCENE: A Hill somewhere in the Mekong Delta. Two men in jungle fatigues, M-16s smoking, stand amid a pile of slain Viet Cong and piles of cartridge cases, watching MSNBC on a black and white console TV set.
JOHN KERRY: Let me be clear. I agree with this perspective. All Republicans lie through their teeth.
RICHARD BLUMENTHAL: (Spitting a plug of tobacco into the foxhole, wiping blood off his K-Bar knife on his pants leg). Yup. All of ’em.
SCENE: At a steak house in Newark, New Jersey. MSNBC is playing on a TV over the bar.
T-BONE: Wotchuthinkabout dat?
COREY BOOKER: He’s right. All Republicans lie, all the time.
SCENE: A runway in Tuzla, Bosnia-Herzegovina. A group of American officials, Secret Service, and a blondish woman huddle behind a brick wall as sniper five spatters the ground around them. A racket of gunfire as Bosnian troops return fire, trying to clear the airfield for the woman to get on her plane. On a TV behind the wall, MSNBC blares.
HILLARY CLINTON: Damn straight they’re all liars!
SCENE: At a Native American observance, with drums and dancers, on the quad at Harvard University, as a TV blares MSNBC in the distance.
ELIZABETH WARREN: The great spirit that is the true law professor of the universe agrees. Republicans are liars. As the first woman of color at this law school, I agree.
The drums continue to beat, as crowds of pasty white liberals shuffle past.
SCENE: At a spa in Hollywood, a man and woman lie on their backs, cucumber slices over their eyes, listening to MSNBC on a TV in the background.
HILARIA BALDWIN: Repobelicans are de woorst liahrs.
ALEC BALDWIN: I oughtta kill them all.
SCENE: At the Saint Paul Grill. Editors and Executive Producers from the Star-Tribune, KARE, WCCO-TV and the Pioneer Press are having cocktails with Ken Martin as MSNBC plays above the bar.
EDITORS AND PRODUCER AND MARTIN: Heh.
SCENE: in the back of a limousine, driving through the District of Columbia. Ilhan OMAR is sitting in the back with husband Tim MYNETT, watching MSNBC on a mobile device.
OMAR: I was never married to my brother.
MYNETT: Literally nobody in the world believes you were, darling.
AND SCENE/S.
December 30th, 2022 at 11:22 am
Every time I read a story like this I am reminded of how the Democrats hastily removed Al Franken with no hearing or anything resembling fairness. The Dems constantly eat their own while the Republicans will do anything to stay in power.
Why would they punish him? He’s a Poster Child for the Republican Party. Completely mendacious, utterly shameless, and confident there will be no consequences for pulling a massive fraud on the electorate.
December 30th, 2022 at 11:24 am
Politicians have a casual relationship with the truth, and it would do us all good to remember it.
December 30th, 2022 at 11:33 am
I think the theory is Santos needs time in the Republican congress in Washington to hone his lying/cheating skills — he’s terrible at it now.
His Fox News interview didn’t turn out to be the friendly one he hoped for. His condescending comments, including implying Americans would be too stupid to under his complex private equity work has him going down in flames. He would never give an interview to any credible news organization.
https://thehill.com/homenews/campaign/3790193-tulsi-gabbard-tears-into-george-santos-during-interview-do-you-have-no-shame/
December 30th, 2022 at 12:08 pm
Dems constantly eat their own
Em, this entire post is examples of not just Democrats, but exceptionallyl prominent ones lying.
Which among them were “eaten” by Democrats?
December 30th, 2022 at 12:10 pm
It would do us all good to remember it
Oh, I remember.
I’m just reminding a couple of generations of Democrats, who seem to have an…indulgent relationship with the truth.
Vide Emery’s comments above.
December 30th, 2022 at 12:11 pm
⬆️ George Santos is a person whose greatest purpose in life appears to have been to give MBerg a light day at the office. Some days you have to write comedy: other days, you can just report the news….
December 30th, 2022 at 12:20 pm
Andrew Tate Is Detained in Romania in Human Trafficking Investigation
https://www.nytimes.com/2022/12/30/world/europe/andrew-tate-romania-arrest.html
It’s odd how actual child-groomers and real world sex-traffickers go so undetected — even protected—by the very people supposedly most exercised by grooming and sex-trafficking.
So, let me get this straight: Musk lets this guy back on Twitter. He trolls Greta Thunburg. She torches him. His tweet reveals his location to police. He gets arrested.
Wow. There’s almost a poetry to this self-own. See, Matt Gaetz would have told Andrew Tate that those teen girls are nothing but trouble.
December 30th, 2022 at 12:46 pm
Geez, whatta dumb troll.
December 30th, 2022 at 1:16 pm
Your takes aren’t improving, Em.
Have you tried turning it off and on?
December 30th, 2022 at 1:21 pm
I’ll ignore the threadjack for the moment, to ask if you still believe the Russian Collusion or Perfectly Fine People hoaxes.
Because you apparently believe the even more completely debunked Matt Gaetz hoax…
…which wasn’t so much a hoax as an extortion attempt again him and his father, a former FL Senate president and, btw, former student of my father’s.
But the Democrat standard of evidence for Republicans is apparently “innocence unti having been accused even briefly of anything by a Democrat hack”.
But do keep going on about Matt Gaetz.
December 30th, 2022 at 1:27 pm
And, dammit – I could have added
and so many more to this bit.
Dammit dammit dammit.
December 30th, 2022 at 2:15 pm
Emery is quickly becoming our own living embodiment of Berg’s 7th law.
The rest of us grew out of “IknowyouarebutwhatamI?” in 4th grade.
December 30th, 2022 at 2:20 pm
All this bleating about Santos is like saying “See? This person wearing a MAGA hat physically dragged out of the street, a protester who was peacefully sitting in the middle of the street blocking traffic. ALL MAGA PEOPLE WANT TO HURT AND KILL PROTESTORS.” while utterly ignoring http://www.shotinthedark.info/wp/?page_id=10054
If nothing else, I am amazed at the mental gymnastics required by Emery to keep up his “narrative”
December 30th, 2022 at 2:54 pm
The Dems constantly eat their own while the Republicans will do anything to stay in power.
Talk to Liz Cheney, Adam Kinzinger, and Justin Amash about that.
Emery’s brain is protected by a reality force field. Reality simply cannot penetrate its core-of-a-neutron-star level density.
December 30th, 2022 at 3:13 pm
Oh c’mon Mitch, it’s the “seriousness of the charges” which really matters.
December 30th, 2022 at 3:19 pm
UMMP.
Those three RINO swamp creatures only turned on Trump after he made the moves to stop the endless wars that the US has been in for decades. They are warmongers, just like McCain, who did the same thing I might add.
As I commented the other day on another of Bot Boy’s unintelligible screeds, it is just so funny that the hypocritical DemoCommies forget that to them, Lizzie’s daddy Dick, was another literal Hitler, making millions for Halliburton on alleged no bid contracts, which turned out to be the same bull crap as the Russian collusion lie. And don’t think for a minute that Lizzie and her libidiot lawya husband aren’t making Bank off the military industrial complex. In fact, I’ve had three separate GOP members tell me that she has come right out and said; “the size of the debt doesn’t matter. We have to fund defense.”
December 30th, 2022 at 3:20 pm
Best post in years. 100+
December 30th, 2022 at 3:25 pm
rAT Emery: “Here’s what this post looks like ro me after 6 gin and tonics! Hahahahaha!”
*Dives into a big bag of dicks*
“Try and find me now, suckers! Hahaha!”
December 30th, 2022 at 4:38 pm
I do not understand how Emery can comment on Thursday that McConnell had thrown Trump under the bus and then on Friday comment that unlike Dems, Republicans never throw anyone under the bus.
Trump himself was throwing shade on Republicans all of the time. Jesus, Emery has some serious mental problems.
December 30th, 2022 at 4:39 pm
There is an outfit called “Institute for the Study of War” that is grifter central for neocons. Funded by some big defense contractors, of course.
December 30th, 2022 at 4:44 pm
I suppose the Santos thing is meant to distract from the disastrous decision by the Dems to release Trump’s tax returns. Not only does it make them look petty and vindictive (I have yet to see any coherent, legislative reason they chose to do this) it sets the precedent of the party that controls congress can use any dirty trick it can get away with to attack the opposite party’s declared presidential candidate.
And as bonus, Trump
s tax returns show that being president cost him money, unlike recent occupants who became wealthy in office. Plus it exposes their whole “Trump is corrupt he is using the presidency to enrich himself” argument as a lie.
Today is one of those days where I think “if I ever looked in the mirror & saw a Democrat looking back at me, I would cut my own throat.”
December 30th, 2022 at 5:03 pm
The reprobates are adults that were damaged as children. They’re lashing out at Daddy.
December 30th, 2022 at 8:34 pm
Why is Andrew Tate in Jail while Hunter Biden is a free man?
I assume that Tate is doing a shtick, like everyone else on the intertubes, including Greta Thunberg. The info is still coming in, but the whole “betrayed by a pizza box” meme has already been debunked.
Tate, as I understand it, claimed that he was turning prostis to a safer occupation as cam girls & taking a cut. Is this even illegal in the US?
December 30th, 2022 at 8:52 pm
Nancy Pelosi set the precedent — only Dems approved by the GOP should be allowed on congressional committees.
It’s the House, baby! 50%+1 and you have 100% of the power!
We know what the dems think about “preserving congressional norms” don’t we?
December 30th, 2022 at 11:33 pm
[…] at The Bulwark Shark Tank: Florida’s Biggest Winners & Losers Of 2022 Shot In The Dark: Before The Truth Gets Its Pants On In The Morning, also, Best Intentions This Ain’t Hell: New infantry toys 2023, The U.S. Navy conducts drone […]
December 31st, 2022 at 8:02 am
The online alt-Right use “NPC” as an insult for others — right up to the moment when they’re facing a Romanian judge pleading for lenient bail on the grounds they have No Prior Convictions.
NPC = Non Player Character?
As in, they don’t have volition of their own?
NPC = No Prior Convictions, as in, not bad enough to have caught one?
I’m not familiar enough with that term — I’m no gangster.
December 31st, 2022 at 8:23 am
^ Now you know why one of the Emerys plagiarizes so often.
December 31st, 2022 at 8:38 am
Andrew Tate is/was the darling of the alt-right and talked up by Joe Rogan, of course. The incel misogynist subculture (who worship Rogan and Elon Musk) is one of the most hilarious online memes. It consists primarily of angry young white men, many of them all wound up, who blame women for their personal failures. It’s a violent, macho-posturing cult of failures.
I look forward to hearing how bored Tate gets sitting in a Romanian prison.
December 31st, 2022 at 9:14 am
^^Andrew Tate converted to Islam.
The dumb-bunny “I will believe anything that confirms my prejudices” speaks again.
December 31st, 2022 at 9:46 am
The mid terms results were a disappointment to many, but there was a silver lining or two. The GOP won the popular vote by just short of 5%, which would normally have gained them 20-30 seats in the house. Black votes went up from 8% (2018) to 14% (2022). Latino support ticked upwards from 2018 as well.
December 31st, 2022 at 10:19 am
OMG it seems so obvious now! Andrew Tate is QAnon! And his 2nd in command? Isn’t that obvious as well? I’ll give you a hint — last name is “Santos.”
December 31st, 2022 at 10:50 am
I had never heard of this Andrew Tate guy until the portsiders on my social media feed started crowing about him. I assume he’s the latest Orly Taitz, replacing whoever that guy was who showed up uninvited for dinner at Mar-a-Lago last month. Apparently I need to join the Emmanuel Goldstein of the Month Club.
December 31st, 2022 at 11:22 am
Oh, dear. I don’t know who Orly Taitz is either.
December 31st, 2022 at 12:16 pm
In the meantime, now that piglosi is gone, libturd 1/6 narrative is beginning to fall apart… it was a false-flag, instigated affair after all. Imagine THAT!
December 31st, 2022 at 12:40 pm
jpa, remember when Harry Reid lied about Romney’s taxes? “Romney didn’t win, did he? … Senate Minority Leader Harry Reid has no regrets with falsely accusing Mitt Romney of paying zero taxes
Crazy, it’s like they lie all the time.
December 31st, 2022 at 12:54 pm
SCENE – Democrat-marxist-leftists lie about everything all the time. CURTAIN!
December 31st, 2022 at 1:25 pm
I hope that the dems are bitten hard on the ass by the Trump tax return stunt. The scheme showed off the very worst features of the congressional democrats, obsessive, slaves to mental base, vindictive, ineffective, and hate filled.
How many Americans would oppose making EVERY congressman & senator release 6 years of their 1040s? 1%?
December 31st, 2022 at 2:25 pm
No worries, jdm. If you don’t know, some triumphalist leftist will tell you. I am regularly informed of seemingly horrible right wingers who must be stopped, even if no one has heard of them.
December 31st, 2022 at 2:35 pm
It is official, 2022 was the worst year for the stock market since 2008.
Back in January Slow Joe was boasting that the markets had reached record highs in his first year.
All those gains were wiped out by June of this year, and it’s been downhill ever since.
December 31st, 2022 at 2:51 pm
Biden voters gotta be feeling some pride:
Joe Biden Cheers Historic Year: Record Crime, Record Inflation, Record Illegal Immigration, Record Gas Prices, Worst Stock/Bond/Equity Losses Since 1871
https://twitter.com/kimguilfoyle/status/1609198818414698507?s=20&t=Cahmh5DgD–miyp4ttjHlg
December 31st, 2022 at 3:00 pm
Andrew Tate is/was the darling of the alt-right
Huh. I never got the memo.
Not sure if I’ve ever heard of him. Certainly didn’t retain anything about him.
Seems like a case of Berg’s 17th Law.
December 31st, 2022 at 3:02 pm
Indeed, E-Dog – I’m probably a degree or two behind the media fashion curve, but I’m not completely oblivious to people in and around my own movement.
And Andrew Tate is one of several people whom I learned as a leader of my movement after being told as much by Democrats on social media.
January 1st, 2023 at 9:37 am
Woolly wrote: “I hope that the dems are bitten hard on the ass by the Trump tax return stunt.”
I would imagine that nearly all billionaire Democratic (and Republican) donors would have similar tax returns. These are people who view view the payment of taxes as a game, within legal boundaries, of paying as little as possible. For every salaried person who inflates that donation of old furniture or clothes to Goodwill on their tax return it’s all the same just more zeros.
Woolly also wrote: “It is official, 2022 was the worst year for the stock market since 2008.”
Those claiming the FED is on the wrong path are only trying to protect their own poor unproductive investments. The louder they are the more they have at risk.
No person in completely cash investments is complaining at the moment.💵
January 1st, 2023 at 10:11 am
Emery, as usual, completely misses the point of my comment.
The question that needs to be answered isn’t whether politicians are cheating on their taxes. Emery seems to have this idea that politicians, many, if not most of whom are multimillionaires, laboriously bent over a 1040 long form, trying to fudge their return in a way that the tax man most notice.
This is idiotic, or par for the course with Emery. These people pay big bucks to specialized accountants to do their taxes & it’s fair to assume they are paying the correct amount, though there are always edge cases (that’s what tax lawyers are for).
The reason why politicians should reveal their tax returns is so that we can see how much money they made & where it came from. That way citizens can draw their own conclusions about whether the politician is corrupt or has taken advantage of inside knowledge to enrich him or her self.
As for Emery’s comment on the market, we know what that’s worth. Emery went on a selling spree after election day 2016 and missed out on the longest market rally in a generation.
January 1st, 2023 at 10:27 am
⬆️ Reads like Yoda at his most cryptic yet without the potential of insight. What a Putz — at least you’re consistent.
January 1st, 2023 at 10:33 am
Woolly mumbled: “The reason why politicians should reveal their tax returns is so that we can see how much money they made & where it came from.”
No sh*t Sherlock…
Anyone care to explain why the IRS didn’t audit Trump’s returns-even though they’re mandated to do so? Were they merely inept (after all, it is the IRS) or told not to by the powers that be. If the former, they’re idiots. If the latter, the law has egregiously been corroded . Either way, an answer must be forthcoming.
Trump earned $150m via his partnership interests and claimed $203m in offsetting costs. It’s as if my tax return included my minuscule share of, say, Johnson & Johnson or Microsoft as an associate not an investment and included my share of their P&L account in my tax return, rather than the value of my equity interest as an asset.
The partnerships lost money, but he probably took cash out (or loaded his family’s lifestyle onto them – as is the accusation). The data is incomplete so we can’t really see what his consolidated balance sheet looks like. He might be asset rich – or insolvent – we cannot tell from this data.
What’s weird is how it changes over time and why did he pre-pay $ms in tax and then reclaim it when he left office?
Regarding the markets:
S&P 500 is approximately 15% higher than the peak of February 2020 and 70% above the trough of March 2020.
Even now.
This market is still overvalued. Sorry.
January 1st, 2023 at 11:01 am
In his 10:27 Emery claims that my comment is cryptic. He then responds to this cryptic comment by attempting to retcon his 9:37.
And, as a topper, he tries to respond to a comment on the market I never made.
So we can be pretty sure that Emery’s New Year’s Resolution to “be less of an idiot” is already shot to Hell.
January 1st, 2023 at 11:53 am
⬆️ I think that tumor on your cranial superstructure is finally hitting the grey matter.
/Ultra Maga Mammuthus Primigenesis on December 31, 2022 at 2:35 pm said:
It is official, 2022 was the worst year for the stock market since 2008./
If the world was literally ending in March 2020, equity indices should have been zero.
As such the market was quite overvalued in Feb 2020 at its peak and is now 13% higher, although the world today (or next year prospectively) is not any better than it was in Feb 2020 prior to Covid.
Energy sector is highly profitable now. But 90%+ of the index is not energy and their profits looking ahead today are not higher than what analysts expected in Feb 2020. And the discount rate for DCF is much higher.
The S&P’s bottom trend line which starts at the low of March 2009, indicates c.3000 is theoretically possible. Even better, stay in cash until a more clement investing environment emerges.
Re: taxes: As author of Rich Dad Poor Dad said ‘Taxes are for Salaried Employees’.
January 1st, 2023 at 11:54 am
BTW — Happy New Years Putz…
January 1st, 2023 at 1:05 pm
As for Emery’s comment on the market, we know what that’s worth. Emery went on a selling spree after election day 2016 and missed out on the longest market rally in a generation.”
lol…no UMMP. rAT *said* he ‘LiquiDAtED His POsiTIOnS and To0k hiS ProFitS”. Then a year later, claimed to be cornering the market. It was hilarious.
rAT might have a 401k, but nothing more than that. ‘His” market observations are cut almost verbatim from various pundits; I know because I find them.
He is a pathological liar displaying classic Dunning Kruger disease who doesn’t know shit from shinola nor stocks from bonds.