Facts
By Mitch Berg
SCENE: Mitch BERG is getting canning supplies at Fleet Farm, when Avery LIBRELLE walks round the corner.
LIBRELLE: Merg!
BERG: Fuc…crying out loud, Avery, how are you?
LIBRELLE: Shut up. We figured out how to get white ammosexuals like you to support common sense gun safety regulations.
BERG: I can’t wait.
LIBRELLE: Give guns to black men!
BERG: Like this guy…
…who’s been getting universal, comprehensive praise from gun owners of all ethnicities?
LIBRELLE: No, no. I mean if we gave stereotypical black men guns and got reactions from stereotypical white ammosexuals.
BERG: That…is, uh, ,probably factual. and uncommonly frank of you. Did you just have a wisdom tooth pulled?
LIBRELLE: They did just legalize weed in Minnesota.
BERG: Aaaaah ,yeah. Hey, look!
(BERG points at…something, LIBRELLE slowly ambles around in the other direction, at which point BERG makes his escape).
And SCENE
August 9th, 2023 at 6:21 am
There is a reason, in fact, there are several reasons, that I’m seeing more black, Hispanic and Asian women practicing at the shooting ranges.
August 9th, 2023 at 6:29 am
I don’t believe you quoted him correctly.
This should read:
LIBRELLE: Give guns to black convicted felons! Just like we give needles to addicts, driver licenses to illegal immigrants and freedom to carjackers.
In other words, the DFL functions like Allstate’s ‘Mayhem’ Guy.
August 9th, 2023 at 6:42 am
Uh, Avery? Those stereotypical black men you want to arm? They already have guns. They use their guns to commit vastly more crimes than their representation in the population. That’s the problem we’re trying to solve, man. Er, girl. Person. Oh crap, I gotta go now .
August 9th, 2023 at 7:01 am
Firing a random “warning shot” is irresponsible and illegal. Armed citizens are not privileged to do that. I don’t believe cops are either. Brandishing a firearm at a criminal in retreat is also a crime.
August 9th, 2023 at 8:46 am
For middle class white men, it is. Hate crime, to boot.
Black man who can afford to live in one of those nice houses….no prosecutor wants that case.
August 9th, 2023 at 9:11 am
What golfdoc says. Yes, it’s nice to see a criminal get his comeuppance, but we don’t want to put the “comeupper” in the tender mercies of big city police forces. Blacks especially know about this. I’m all for concealed carry for the law-abiding of all races, but….
August 9th, 2023 at 9:14 am
The warning shot is definitely a problem, Golfdoc. You can’t do that, even down here. However, the carjacking black wasn’t retreating…he was loitering, turning around and stopping.
He was showing the Samaritan he isn’t intimated; won’t be dissed, but in my book, brazenness like that could also be a signal he is either armed, too, or as high as rAT Emery on Sweetheart day. Either is reasonable justification for keeping him at gunpoint, although I aver high ready is probably a better choice.
August 9th, 2023 at 1:05 pm
…..”facts don’t do what I want them to” — The entire Republican Party,
August 9th, 2023 at 1:42 pm
SCENE: A profusely sweating, pudgy little man in a stained tee shirt staggers drunkenly down the dark hallway of an asphalt sided shAk on the weedy shore of a dismal, muddy little lake. Peeling wallpaper falls where he slides against the walls. He opens the door to a filthy bedroom, a stained and stinking mattress lays on the floor; he opens a locked closet. A young woman cowers and weeps on the floor….
rAT Emery (takes a swig of gin from the plastic bottle he’s holding): “ER Nurse!!”
ER Nurse (weeping): “Yes dad”
rAT Emery: “…..”facts don’t do what I want them to” — The entire Republican Party,””
ER Nurse (weeping): “Yes dad”
rAT Emery (dropping filthy trou): “Looks like Hunter Biden stole Ohio…..”
ER Nurse (weeping hysterically): “No, daddy….please!!!”
rAT: (Takes another chug from the plastic bottle, and leads the sobbing ER Nurse down into the basement, where a Berkeley horse waits.) “Let’s get to work!”
AND SCENE
August 9th, 2023 at 2:20 pm
You seem to be acting out on Bergs house of mirrors — does your employer have an EAP program available?
August 9th, 2023 at 5:23 pm
…..”facts don’t do what I want them to” — The entire Democrat Party,
Jesus what an idiot Emery is. He can’t even make a proper ellipsis.
August 9th, 2023 at 6:23 pm
A resident of a nearbytownhouse complex has a bumper sticker: make racists afraid again
So let me get the straight, you want middle class white people to be afraid of blacks? You expect whites to cower in fear because black thugs use guns indiscriminately?
One word, lady: lynching.
August 10th, 2023 at 1:39 pm
The interesting thing about a “make racists afraid again” bumper sticker is that when you read racist literature of the past, a great portion of what motivated them was….fear.
So we might joke that “Make racists afraid again” is functionally equivalent to “Revive the Klan.” Oopsie.