“Buddy, Could You Try To Be A Little Less Awkward?”
By Mitch Berg
Call me old-fashioned, but I’d think a governor who’s built his entire career out of rigorously-contolled optics – lots of photos of eating fair food and holding animals and social media strawmen, no uncontrolled press conferences or public debates – would know better than to do…
…that.
October 15th, 2024 at 8:15 am
You’ve all been deceived. Tim Walz isn’t running for Vice President. He is auditioning for the role of “Dumb Husband” in a series of upcoming television commercials.
You know the role I mean. Dumb Husband spills a glass of milk and panics but Smart Wife hands him The Quicker Picker Upper with a superior smile and lecture about quality and strength. Walz’ face from the Vance debate is perfect for the panic moment reaction shot.
And not just paper towels. Dumb Husband is essential to every commercial. Watching a commercial where a Smart Wife woman-splains simple stuff to her Dumb Husband makes women viewers feel good about themselves, which makes them want to buy the product. Drain cleaner, fabric softener, feminine products (Tampon Timmy is uniquely qualified to pitch those products), cars, vacation properties . . . the list is endless.
And to reach the Single Cat Lady target market, he could also play the part of “Dumb Dad” being smugly lectured by Smart Single Cat Lady Daughter about wine, pet care products . . . you get the idea.
He’ll probably make a fortune.
October 15th, 2024 at 10:53 am
FFS, John McCain could get his arms higher than that despite his stay at the Hanoi Hilton.