SCENE: A conference room at “Minnesotans for All Progressive Causes” – a non-profit group financed by progressives with deep pockets – for the weekly message coordination meeting.
MyLyssa Silberman, reporter for National Public Radio’s Saint Paul bureau, covering the “Fake News” and “Diversity” beats, waits in the conference room along with Betty Rae Torstengaardsen, senior staff writer at the (possibly fictional) progressive blog “MinnesotaLiberalAlliance.Blogspot.com“, sit, along with Mesme PHURPHY, elite objective political reporter from WCCO-TV They nervously check their watches.
Eventually, Gretel Stromberg Executive Director of “Minnesotans United for All Progressive Causes”, and Inge “Lucky” Carroll, Executive Director of “Minnesotans United for All Progressive Causes”, enter the room.
CARROLL: (Looks at Silberman and Torstengaardsen and Phurphy, clears throat).
SILBERMAN, PHURPHY AND TORSTENGAARDSEN: (quickly rise from their seats)
STOMBERG: Be seated. (All sit, with STROMBERG at the head of the table). Americans are rejecting the term “insurrection” to describe the January 6 riot. We need to come up with another term.
PHURPHY: How about ‘genocide’?
CARROLL: Love the energy, Mesme, but it might be a bit of an overreach.
TORSTENGAARDSEN: I mean, ‘riot’ pretty much sums it up.
(STROMBERG and CARROLL cough nervously).
TORSTENGAARDSEN: Er…never mind.
SILBERMAN: ‘Coup’ usually implies the elites seizing control. ‘Insurrection’ implies a sustained, military campaign, like the Viet Cong or the IRA.
STROMBERG: I’ll go with “Putsch“.
(The three “journalists” sit, somewhat agape. Finally, SILBERMAN speaks)
SILBERMAN: So – a term that, outside a very thin film of political science and history academics, refers in American English solely to Hitler’s abortive 1922 Munich coup attempt?
(The three “journalists” look at each other)
PHURPHY: Works for me.
SILBERMAN: I hear and obey.
STROMBERG: (abruptly rising) Make it so. (Leaves the room with CARROLL).