As The Hung-Over, Indolent Giant Rouses And Thinks About Heading To The Gym
By Mitch Berg
Scene: MItch BERG is picking up a piece of litter and throwing it into a public trash can. He almost walks into Avery LIBRELLE
BERG: Oh. fuuuuuuurcryingoutloud Avery…
LIBRELLE: Merg! Shut up. I’m as giddy as a little menstruating person! NRA president Wayne LaPierre has resigned! The pro-murder movement took a huge hit.
BERG: Heh. That’s kinda funny.
LIBRELLE: Yeah…wait, what?
BERG: You’ll notice it’s all us shooters and Second Amendment activists doing the cheering, right? Start this about 1:42.
BERG: LaPierre essentially neutered the NRA for the past decade.
LIBRELLE: Pfft. Everyone knows they’re the black heart and soul of the American gun movement.
BERG: Kinda racist, but whatever. The NRA for the past decade or so has been basically a fund-raising machine that stopped operating at the state level. Most of the work for the past fifteen years has been the Second Amendment Foundation and a whoooole bunch of state groups that sprang up to fill the vacuum – like the MN Gun Owners Caucus.
LIBRELLE: But…they’re the evil empire.
BERG: “Evil”. Heh. Look – if the NRA is smart enough to elect a president who wants to use all that power and money to move policy, along with that huge legal and activist infrastructure that got built up while the NRA was spending all that fundraising money, you ain’t seen nothing yet.
LIBRELLE: Blah, blah, blah. I’m actually here to protest in favor of the Palestinians. I’m here to block you.
BERG: Cool. I’m waiting to cross this street, at the crosswalk, once the light changes. Block me there.
LIBRELLE: All right!
(LIBRELLE walks into the intersection as traffic honks and zooms around him.)
PASSING DRIVER: Hey, get out of the road, bud…er, lad…er… (looks at BERG, who is crossing the cross-street with the green light. BERG shrugs.)
And SCENE
