Where Have You Gone, Learned Foot…

…the nation turns its lonely, topical limerick and haiku writing eyes to you. And Ryan Rhodes.

But since Foot is retired and Ryan is MIA, we’ll have to fill in ourselves.


There once was a fellow named Toobin
(Don’t confuse him with Jennifer Rubin).
His career met its doom,
when he dropped trou on Zoom
Now there’s a different part getting the lube-in.


Toobin takes “lid” off,
Two weeks’ frenzy erupts, as
Biden’s lid stays on.


So Toobin had fun of the kind,
the nuns said would make you go blind.
But there’s no point in moping,
it’s just Jeff’s way of hoping
for less trouble than the conjugal kind.


Carry on.

6 thoughts on “Where Have You Gone, Learned Foot…

  1. I’ll make a few attempts as well:

    We knew Joe’s a creep
    The laptop provides more meat
    Pedo’s and payouts.

    Sitting at my desk
    It appears I’ve made a mess
    Kleenex can’t clean up.

  2. Zoom Toobin, the media maven,
    Had a performance particularly craven,
    But when a circle jerk,
    Is what you do for your work
    You can see why might have just gave in.

  3. The pundits gathered for a simulation,
    That provided too much stimulation,
    But their minute of hate,
    Made him masturbate,
    Now Toobin’s the jerk of the nation.

  4. Hi Mitch. I’m genuinely sorry to tell you this if you didn’t already know, but Ryan passed away unexpectedly last July. His family didn’t say what happened, except that it was natural causes. It took everyone totally by surprise. He was only 45.

    I hope you and yours are doing well.

  5. I had not heard this. That’s a complete kick in the head.

    Thanks for letting me know.

    Hope all is well on your end.

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