SCENE: Mitch BERG is ordering a cup of coffee and a bagel.
Brian FURIOUS, liberal opionblogger for “”MinnesotaLIberalAlliance.blogspot.com”, walks into the coffee shop.
BERG: Oh, hey, Brian…
FURIOUS: I am Brian Furious, defender of fact, crusader of truth!
BERG: Right. Or…hey, Brian.
FURIOUS: Don’t you deny it! You’ve been writing about Ilhan Omar!
BERG: Well, mostly I’ve been doing a combination of writing about people writing about Ilhan Omar, and writing about people writing about people writing about Ilhan Omar. There’s a bit of a difference.
FURIOUS: What you did was engage in race-baiting, saying that if someone comes to the US they should learn our laws and abide by them,
BERG: We’ll come back to the “race-baiting” red herring in a bit. But as re the other bit – you mean, like “learn and abide by our laws” like everyone who comes to the US – or, for that matter, goes to other countries – is supposed to do?
FURIOUS: That’s not news!
BERG: Not sure what you mean. It’s not news that immigrants, like citizens, are supposed to follow the law?
FURIOUS: But you admitted you probably wouldn’t adhere to laws requiring a marriage license!
BERG: Well, yeah – like Ms. Omar, I believe that marriages in one’s faith tradition that ignore state licensing are perfectly legitimate. And, by the way, it’s not “illegal” to eschew the state license.
Anyway, let me repeat the important part; I defended Ilhan Omar’s “marriage in her faith tradition“, while noting that her explanation still left some questions.
You seem to have trouble recognizing that fact. Perhaps you’re racist?
FURIOUS: You’re just saying it’s about being “foreign” is just taking a change to stoke anti-immigrant fears and is, yes, race-baiting! You’re demeaning her, and with her other Somalis for whom she’s an emblem because of her ethnicity. You’re claiming it’s her “foreign-ness” which is the problem.
BERG: Er, yeah – I’d heard you wrote that. The thing is, I’ve never mentioned Ilhan’s “foreign-ness”, never alluded to it in anything I’ve ever written or said, never even hinted about it. It’s a fabrication.
FURIOUS: No, it’s not!
BERG: Well, given that I’m supporting Abimalik Askar – a Somali immigrant – in the race for the seat, let’s just say it’s kinda weird. So – if Ms. Omar’s “foreign-ness” is a problem, wouldn’t that of Mr. Askar – who is from the exact same place – also be a problem?
FURIOUS: Clearly, Askar is not Somali!
BERG: He was born in Somalia, and immigrated to the US in 1993.
FURIOUS: Then it stands to reason you hate him too!
BERG: Er, no – I’ve interviewed him on my show, and I’ll do it again. He’s a very sharp guy and is quite clearly the best candidate for the job of any ethnic origin.
FURIOUS: But he’s a ReTHUGliican! Clearly he must hate Somalis!
BERG: Huh. Hey – look! A shiny object!
[BERG slips quietly away as FURIOUS furiously whips his head around]