Songs I Shouldn’t Hate But Do
By Mitch Berg
I think it was Leonard Bernstein – or Keith Richard, I always mix the two up – who said that 95% of any genre of music, classical or blues or jazz or rock or pop or afro-worldbeat – is rubbish. 5% of pretty much any genre is going to be great, no matter what genre.
But – apropos not much – there’s a long list of songs that I’m told I should like, but for whatever reason just…can’t.
I’m going to kick the list off right about now:
- What’s Going On, Four Non-Blondes: Cringeworthy retro-hippie bilge. Sung by chicks!
- No Rain, Blind Melon: Cringeworthy retro-hippie bilge.
Sung by chicks! - Lay Down Sally, Eric Clapton: Clapton is one of the great guitar players alive. He pretty much invented the “white guys doing bluesy-rock” genre. Marcy Levy is one of the coolest background singers ever born. Combining the three should be a no-brainer. And yet I can’t stand it, partly because it’s just a pointless song, and partly because it kicked off about 10 years of really bad music from Clapton. And why would anyone listen to LDS when “The Core” – which features Clapton actually playing some amazing guitar, Levy actually singing a cool harmony part, and a song that actually works – is available on the same album?
- LA Woman, The Doors: Actually, except for “Hello, I Love You”, pretty much everything the Doors ever did stank. One of very few topics where the Oliver Stone movie about the subject was better than the subject.
- No Rain, Blind Melon: Yep. Still cringeworthy retro-hippie bilge.
- Sunspot Baby, Bob Seger: Don’t get me wrong – Seger has had his moments. Many of ’em. I flip on “Ramblin’ Gamblin’ Man” when I need wash Jefferson Airplane out of my head. “Hollywood Nights”, “Beautiful Loser” and “Night Moves” have prominent places in the soundtrack of my teenage years. And “Main Street” is one of the best songs ever written. Chalk it up to having to play SSB for too many drunken mooks in too many crappy bars, and getting very tired of that same 12-bar progression, over, and over, and over, and over…
- You Spin Me Round, Dead Or Alive: Adam Sandler’s cover was actually a huge improvement.
- What’s Going On, Four Non-Blondes: Still cringeworthy retro-hippie bilge. Not all that sure about the “chick” thing.
- Everything “ZuZu’s Petals” Ever Did: No, I don’t care that the lead singer is married to Paul Westerberg. Twin Cities underground rock died the day ZuZu’s Petals became a headliner..
- Eternal Flame, The Bangles: The sound of promise being shattered; the band that in 1984 gave us the incandescent “Dover Beach”, four years later gave us a Desmond Child outtake. Sung by chicks!
- Everything You Want, Vertical Horizon: The day alt-rock died.
- You Shook Me All Night Long, AC/DC: No, I love “Highway to Hell”, “It’s a Long Way to The Top”, “For Those About To Rock”, “Love At First Feel” and a zillion other AC/DC songs. But YSMANL wore out its welcome by about 1983, never to return. Instant tune-out.
- What’s Going On, Four Non-Blondes: Yep. Still cringeworthy. And I think the bass player was really a guy.
That’ll do for now.
July 6th, 2007 at 7:17 am
Both Seeger and Clapton suffer from KQ syndrome. When a station plays the same songs day after day (not the Badfinger song) for 30 years, they pretty much all become cringeworthy. Is that really a word?
July 6th, 2007 at 8:03 am
I guess you meant to be ironic with your opening sentence, but let me make an attempt at correction anyway. As one who prefers to tune in to classical music (all- jazz stations a close second, if I’m in range of one), I think Leonard Bernstein said that 95% of “current popular” music is “junk”, but that in 5% of it there is something that is worthwhile.
Going from memory, so consider the entire quote approximate; the words in quotes are meant to emphasize “very approximate”. However, thinking back hard, I’m pretty sure I heard LB say this in his own voice; I must have heard it on an NPR classical music radio station, he was being interviewed by someone either live or it was a recording of a live interview.
I took a look at the LB wikipedia article just now and made a quick scan of one of the external links listed there, looking for the exact quote, but if it’s anywhere on line it will take much more digging for me to locate it.
I remember the context of the interview quite well though and I am quite sure that he didn’t mean to imply — at all — that 95% of his own genre — “classical music” — is junk. As I understood himt, the “5%” of value was to be found in what average Americans listen to on the radio or purchase at a record store (this was prior to internet downloads/Ipods etc).
Bernstein may have been a pretentiously phony egalitarian when it came to current social issues but I doubt that he would have put up with a statement made to his face that “95% of classical music is junk”. His natural aristocracy — one of talent — would have asserted itself. Or at least I hope it would have.
July 6th, 2007 at 8:21 am
“”pretty much everything the Doors ever did stank.””
–> Isn’t that the same with the Rolling Stones. At least the Doors had ‘Riders on the Storm”
“”You Spin Me Round, Dead Or Alive””
–> Since the title of this screed is “Songs I Shouldn’t Hate But Do” I am confused why you would think this is a song one shouldn’t hate to begin with.
Glad to see RUSH didn’t make your list. Did I say 18th Row Main floor on September 9th. I hate to wish my Summer away, but in this case, that date can’t come soon enough!
Flash
July 6th, 2007 at 8:23 am
Holy macaroni Mitch, I agree with every one of those songs!
Although I do have to play “What’s Going On?” almost every weekend.
I’m a sell-out, what can I say?
July 6th, 2007 at 8:29 am
Kermit, agree. Background….I’m in my mid-30’s. OD’d on country when in high school, moved to oldies….I mean classic rock…in college. OD’d on that by my mid 20’s. Cannot stand oldies from the 60’s foward. Cannot understand how people can still listen to KQ with their obession over Bob Seger.
My girlfriend likes country so I have started in on that lately. Mitch, I know you disagree, but it’s much better then it was when I was a youngster. It’s very packaged and controlled for marketing, but 60% of it is still not bad. Especially the chick…I mean female….performers.
I still tune into the Current and KFAI for something different. Be careful with KFAI though…..if tune in and hear blues, gospel or old soul, good. If it’s the lesbians for nuclear disarmament hour or news from the Howard Dean fan club, you may want to tune in later.
July 6th, 2007 at 8:38 am
Mitch, I know you disagree, but it’s much better then it was when I was a youngster. It’s very packaged and controlled for marketing, but 60% of it is still not bad. Especially the chick…I mean female….performers.
I’ll say this: Country music makes much better pop music these days. In some ways, I almost prefer the country top40 to the pop top 40 these days.
But yeah, if you give me a choice between 90% of the stuff that’s on K102 today on the one hand, and Emmylou Harris, Hank Senior, “Outlaw”-era Waylon and Willie, Rodney Crowell, and a slew of others…well, my choice is obvious, right?
I still tune into the Current and KFAI for something different. Be careful with KFAI though…..if tune in and hear blues, gospel or old soul, good. If it’s the lesbians for nuclear disarmament hour or news from the Howard Dean fan club, you may want to tune in later.
Yep. I used to do news there. And you’re right; you have to pick and choose.
Which, given how eclectic the station is, can be fun.
July 6th, 2007 at 8:41 am
Flash:
–> Isn’t that the same with the Rolling Stones. At least the Doors had ‘Riders on the Storm”
The Stones will always have “Street Fighting Man”, “Gimme Shelter”, “Miss You”, “Sympathy for the Devil”, “Rocks Off”, and pretty much all of Exile on Main Street.
And since other than HILY there’s not a single Doors song I can listen to for longer than it takes to hit another preset, let’s agree to disagree!
–> Since the title of this screed is “Songs I Shouldn’t Hate But Do” I am confused why you would think this is a song one shouldn’t hate to begin with.
Well, maybe I wasn’t being THAT particular…
JB,
Although I do have to play “What’s Going On?” almost every weekend.
I’m a sell-out, what can I say?
Sellout? I’d say “post-ironic hipster!”
🙂
July 6th, 2007 at 8:51 am
I’m not sure about Rush’s latest offering, flash. S&A just felt like the whole album (except Far Cry) wasn’t quite in tune or tempo. Oh the tunes were well produced, they just lacked the usual solid vibe. I’ve got everything they’ve ever done, but this is by far their weakest offering for me. I’d put this in the something I’m supposed to like but don’t since I have every album they’ve ever done and this is the first time I’m had trouble listening to something they’ve put out.
What, no 70s disco Mitch? For shame! Or is nobody supposed to like that dreck? But you’re dead on with most of the list, especially the Doors comment.
July 6th, 2007 at 9:11 am
Guys…when you put this much analysis into the old rock tunes, crimeny!!!
I just listen and enjoy the memories of my younger years that all those tunes bring back. I even listen to the Time-Life ads to go back to the 60’s, 70’s and 80’s. I need help or need to buy all the sets.
But the memories are wonderful. And I enjoy them greatly.
Go and do likewise.
July 6th, 2007 at 9:26 am
Mitch. – I guess we will on the Stones. Whenever I hear songs like ‘Start me up’ I go, “People think this is ‘good’?!? Never good understand the infatuation with the Stones
Nerdbert – Listen to Monkey Business a few more times. Strange that for me Vapor Trails and Roll The Bones were ‘Ehh’ for me, but this album grabbed me right away. I could put Malignant Narcism on repeat for a couple days and not get bored. “The Larger Bowl” will start getting some airplay is it will be the next single off the album!
Flash
July 6th, 2007 at 11:06 am
Oh, and thanks for the Four Non-Blondes earworm, Mitch. Hey hey hey….(shudder)
July 6th, 2007 at 11:49 am
Kerm: From another forum a Drum Corps forum I frequent: “”I’ve been told that all you have to do to get a song out of your head is sing “8 Days a Week” by the Beatles. You might get that stuck in your head then, but chances are it’s a better, happier song than what was in your head to begin with””
You can thank me later!
Flash
July 6th, 2007 at 1:52 pm
Joe3 Soucharey recommends “Michelle” by the Beatles. What is it about the Beatles?
July 6th, 2007 at 3:17 pm
Kermit-
proper 733t for “joe soucheray” is j03 $0|_|ch3r4y.
July 6th, 2007 at 3:18 pm
Hey Amendment, not all of us are 60!
July 6th, 2007 at 3:26 pm
|_|nl3$$ h1$ n4m3 1$ r34ll4 “j033 $0|_|ch4r3y” 1n \/\/h1ch c4$3 17’$ “j033 $0|_|ch4r3y”
July 6th, 2007 at 3:47 pm
Sorry Terry, I never took Hooked on Phonics.
July 6th, 2007 at 11:47 pm
“Eternal Flame, The Bangles: The sound of promise being shattered; the band that in 1984 gave us the incandescent “Dover Beach”, four years later gave us a Desmond Child outtake. ”
Amen, Mitch. Their first album was outstanding.
And they’re scheduled to play at First Ave. in August, by the way.
July 7th, 2007 at 7:42 pm
Whats Going On is a great song and no you shouldn’t hate it. It’s PERFECT as a matter of fact:)
mmmwwwwahhahaaaaaah!!