The Press Conference I’d Like To See: Take 2
By Mitch Berg
TAKE 2: A couple of key paragraphs disappeared from this one on Friday, the first time I tried it…
SCENE: A press conference at the Minnesota State University system. Spokesperson Moonbeam BIRKENSTOCK stands nervously in front of a podium, facing a gaggle of barely-engaged press, and Mitch BERG of Shot in the Dark/AM1280/HotAir.
BIRKENSTOCK: So, with the changes in federal funding, it appears the Minnesota State University system is going to have to make unprecedented hikes to tuition:
BIRKENSTOCK: Any questions?
BERG: Yes – wouldn’t that $18 billion in surplruses that the DFL wasted in 2023 and 2024 have come in handy for this?
BIRKENSTOCK: No hablo ingles…
BERG: Si no hubiéramos desperdiciado el excedente, ¿seguiría siendo un problema?
BIRKENSTOCK: No further questions.
BERG: That was English.
(But Birkenstock has left the podium)
(And SCENE).
April 18th, 2025 at 10:14 am
*golf clap*
April 21st, 2025 at 7:10 am
I would love to see an Elon Musk DOGE style audit of every Minnesota institution of higher learning – U of M, state college system, vo-tech, junior college, even private schools. Where’s the money going?
It would be fun to start a pool – which school has the highest percentage of LGBT indoctrination requirements to graduate, which has the lowest percentage of self-identified Republicans teaching, which has the worst minority graduation rates, which has highest student-loan-to-post-graduation earnings ratio?
I mean, seriously, Macalester can’t win EVERY category, can it?
April 21st, 2025 at 7:11 am
OOPS, forgot the canine prohibition. Try again with a Zero instead.
I would love to see an Elon Musk D0GE style audit of every Minnesota institution of higher learning – U of M, state college system, vo-tech, junior college, even private schools. Where’s the money going?
It would be fun to start a pool – which school has the highest percentage of LGBT indoctrination requirements to graduate, which has the lowest percentage of self-identified Republicans teaching, which has the worst minority graduation rates, which has highest student-loan-to-post-graduation earnings ratio?
I mean, seriously, Macalester can’t win EVERY category, can it?
April 21st, 2025 at 11:56 pm
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April 22nd, 2025 at 7:29 am
The easiest way to avoid raising tuition would be to fire 50% of Administrators. No loss in function whatsoever.
April 22nd, 2025 at 11:52 am
DFL needs a huge dose of Dave Ramsey, IMO, where they would be reminded that when you get a windfall, you use it first to pay off debts and reduce your overall cost structure. The fact that they didn’t do this shows that they view tuition and fee increases as a feature, not a bug, for this. If you make it impossible to make it on your own, you are easy prey for a dictatorial government.