Headline: 2027
By Mitch Berg
Minnesota Star Tribune, April 17, 2027:
FEDS INDICT 20 IN WATER FRAUD SCANDAL
The US Attorney for Minnesota has announced indictments of 22 executives and board members ‘”Watering Our Future”, a Methodist-affiliated non-profit ostensibly dedicated to providing water at public events.
“WOF spent $230 million in state money”, said Assistant US Attorney Ashley Bouffant, “but we’ve found no evidence they ever provided any water to a single person at a public event”.
The headline in 2025? “Minnesota lawmakers push for free water access at public events“.
The bill, introduced in February by Rep. Leigh Finke, (DFL-66A) has been added to a larger House commerce package. If passed, it would mandate that all qualifying events provide at least one of the following:
Free bottled water
Permission to bring in sealed water bottles
Access to refill stations for those who bring empty bottles
Exemptions: art galleries, museums and presentation spaces where beverages aren’t allowed
“This bill just kind of came to me last summer when I was having conversations with people about the heat,” Finke said. “There are numerous ways for this to be successful at very low stakes and with high rewards.”
Any government program opportunity, at best, for creating a new transfer of wealth from the real world to the political class; at worst, another opportunity for fraud and graft.
And under this version of the DFL, let’s just leave out the “at best” part.
I’m just waiting to see what special interest group can carve / has carved out a piece of the public water action.
Because you know there’s gotta be one.
April 18th, 2025 at 6:48 am
This is why we need more Sci-Fi taught in schools. Representative Finke has obviously never read The Moon is a Harsh Mistress or she would know the meaning of TANSTAAFL.
Headlines 2026: Event ticket prices rise to cover cost of “free” water. Concert goers sue over “one per customer” limit. Keith Ellison investigating discrimination against persons identifying as mermaids. Discarded 500 ml water bottles killing loons, U of M study says.
April 18th, 2025 at 10:11 am
I just see this as yet another opportunity for the left to direct attacks on capitalism towards Nestle, Coke, Pepsi and other bottlers of water: WATER SHOULD BE FREEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!! I’m sure it will soon be added to their list of “basic human rights” such as free housing, free medical care, and free abortion.
April 18th, 2025 at 7:21 pm
Who sells bottled water outside the gates of the State Fair?
April 19th, 2025 at 1:52 am
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April 21st, 2025 at 6:10 am
Nestle has been taking water from Lake Michigan for at least 20 years for their Purelife brand. DemoCommie state legislators received payoffs, which were exposed by some locals near the obscure, unidentifiable facility about two miles from the lake, but, as DemoCommie criminal enterprises do, they covered it up.