11 thoughts on “Verdict

  1. I guess the author had never been to an Indian (dot, not feather) wedding.

    Also, loved this quote: And where there are no answers to be found, answers will be invented.. How true!

  2. My daughter just got married, and COVID made it a much smaller wedding….and she still called it the best day of her life. It was about getting the husband, not the –event. I’m no foe of celebrating wedlock–it’s not for no reason that Jesus performed His first miracle at a wedding by making something like 180 gallons of great wine–but it seems there is a difference between a celebration and a coronation. We’ve lost that, I think.

  3. but it seems there is a difference between a celebration and a coronation

    Nay, it is all about oneupmanship, conspicuous consumption and making sure Joneses have to try even harder to keep up. You gonna change human nature?

  4. Williamson can be a prick, but when he’s right, he’s right.

    My church wedding to my wife was only after periodic counseling sessions over months. We met with a sponsor couple who at the time had been married for over 45 years. My wife and I each had two attendants.

    Years earlier, my best friend and his wife got married in Puerto Rico in the bride’s hometown church. Small affair, modest reception. In that case, the bride and groom each had one attendant. That was 18 years ago.

    By contrast, a former co-worker of mine had the small intimate wedding with his native Iowan bride in his hometown in Puerto Rico, and a more lavish affair back here. The budget for the reception dwarfed the ceremony, even factoring in travel costs. He and his wife were in divorce proceedings within 18 months.

    My wife’s cousin had a church ceremony on New Year’s Eve that was lightly attended. The reception was, in contrast, heavily attended by the groom’s extended family in a small town where they fashioned themselves as a real-life version of the Ewing family. That marriage lasted a little over 6 months. A couple of years later, she met someone else, they got married by a justice of the peace, and they’re happy.

  5. Ian, thanks. We think they’re doing fine so far–praying for them.

    Reading through your note, it strikes me that a lot of huge wedding receptions/super pricey “FOTB” type weddings are in reality the “happy” couple trying to prove their love for each other with her daddy’s money, and then everybody is shocked, shocked that “money can’t buy me love.” Or, put differently, what JPA wrote.

  6. My wife and I were married in our church – a converted elementary school – and the reception was in the basement. The biggest expenses were the $300 wedding cake and the $75 I paid for the helium tank to blow up balloons to make the basement look less like a basement. I think my father in law gave us $600 toward the event. Coming up on 33 years this fall.

    22 years later my oldest daughter got married in our front yard – fulfilling the dream she had had since we first moved into the home. Friends and family did the catering and the setting up and removing of folding chairs in the lawn that we borrowed from church. The groomsmen were converting the seating area on the driveway to a dining room with tables as the reception line snaked through the backyard. That, too, has turned out pretty well. My daughter had saved up about $20,000 before the wedding; after the wedding she had about $22,000 on hand.

  7. NW, that was one of the funnest weddings I’ve ever attended. Glad to hear it was affordable for you and Mall Diva, too. (praying that Tiger Lilly will get her turn soon, too, if she hasn’t already)

  8. Ian, after our one and only counseling session, rabbi looked at us and asked: “Are you sure you want to get married? To each other?” Our wedding was attended by immediate family and close friends and reception was held in our friend’s back yard – we put up the tent ourselves. That was 21 years ago – we celebrated our anniversary a couple days ago.

  9. @jpa: Congrats on the 21st anniversary! My wife and I celebrated our 7th anniversary in April. We rented a barn for our reception.

    @bikebubba, your phrase “trying to prove their love for each other with her daddy’s money” hits the nail on the head. I can’t comprehend going into such deep debt as you start your life with your spouse for a couple of reasons: One, I’d never put that much value on what others thought of us and on the strength of our relationship. Two, seems to be financial difficulties are among the reasons marriages fall apart, so why would you set yourself up for failure?

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