Spreading The Madness

Kids today have it tough.

Not so much on “life is difficult” front, of course; compared to life in the Depression, for kids who were going to grow up and go off to World War II and spend Christmas of 1944 in weather more or less like this sitting in foxholes in the Ardennes, kids today have it pretty OK.

But on the “adults are scary and stupid” front?  Kids today have it rough.

School counselors have been reporting a wave of…timidity?  Kids don’t socialize as much today as they used to; school counselors note the amazing, depressing numbers of children that head directly home after school, watch television/do homework, and rarely if ever get outside without direct adult supervision.  Part of the problem is the epidemic of single-parent homes, most of whom are headed by single mothers.  Parents’ styles are as individual as they are, of course – but one of the reason God, biology, remorseless fate or whatever you do or don’t believe in made families with mixed-gender parents is because different genders bring different traits to the table; mothers are stereotypically “nurterers”, and more risk-averse; fathers are, again stereotypically, the ones that imprint adventure and risk-taking on the kids (and no, feel free not to flood my comment section with stories of what an exception your mother was; I know, already). And so, with no male in the house to model behavior from, the kids become…nurtured.  And overnurtured, as the case may be.  It’s not the only explanation – but then, this post isn’t about explaining things.

Lenore Skenazy at Free Range Kids – a blog that is going on my blogroll today – writes about a letter to the editor she got:

Dear Free-Range Kids: My name is Shaylene Haswarey, and I want to share a story with you today.

This morning, my doorbell rang, and two police officers were present.  They asked me if I am the mother of my children, and I said yes.  They said someone called them because my three oldest kids (ages 9, 7, and 6) were walking around our GATED town-house complex, unattended. I said, “They found a cat, and I let them go out and feed it.”…

…I told the officer I am from Idaho, and kids play outside like this all the time.  He said my kids are too young to be out,  because we do not have a yard, and this is a complex.  He also told me there are predators around here.  He finally told me if I let my kids out again he will have to call social services because I am endangering my children! What is wrong with this picture???

Mitch’s answer – which is one reason why I don’t do a blog on parenting – is “they’re prepping your kids for the hyper-feminized school system, where uncontrolled risk-taking is actively squelched”. 

Back to Skenazy’s letter:

1.  Is it against the law to go out in the rain in your pajamas?
2.  My kids know how to watch for cars.  They were following the cat and feeding it.
3.  There are NO predators in my neighborhood. I looked on Megan’s Law, and there are only 6 in our whole city, and none are in my neighborhood.  I live in Aliso Viejo, CA.  Aliso Viejo is a small city in between Irvine and Mission Viejo.  These cities rank #1 by the FBI for the safest cities in America with a pop. of 100,000+.  Therefore, Aliso Viejo is safer than the city I grew up in in Idaho!

After the police officer asked for me and my husband’s name and birthdates, I freaked out!  I am NOT going to let my kids go outside without me again!  I don’t want social services knocking on my door.  What do you think I should do if anything, about this?  My husband’s family is from India.  They have a big house there.  I am thinking of going to their village this September and staying there for a few months, so my kids can be normal kids. — Shaylene

Lenore writes back (emphasis added by yours truly):

Dear Shaylene: Isn’t it incredible that you are living the “American Dream” — a house, four kids, nice town — and longing for the kind of childhood a kid can get in a much less affluent country? Meantime, I put this question to readers: What can this mom do to prove to the cop that she’s not off base? How can we she convince him (and other cops and other neighbors) that being outside is normal and healthy for kids? Should we all call the police department there? Start a petition? Any ideas? — Lenore

Well, you heard the lady ladies.  Let’s cough up some answers!

16 thoughts on “Spreading The Madness

  1. “Officer, it is obviously not past the 10 pm curfew. The children have done nothing wrong and I see no legitimate reason to lock them up in the townhouse. Thank you for your concern and I will be mindful of that in the future. Have a nice day.”

    or

    “Officer, I’m not sure who is complaining and trying to make a federal case out of children playing and having fun in the neighborhood. But unless there is really something wrong, I would hope they didn’t waste either of our time on something like this. Thank you for your concern. Have a nice day.”

  2. If child predators are the problem, I would think a .38 sidearm for each of them would be a reasonable preventive, don’t you, officer?

  3. Step 1. Get a map

    Step 2. draw a line from the North Eastern tip of Washington state straight down to the Mexico border.

    Step 3. draw a line from the North Western tip of Illinois straight to the border between Virginia and N. Carolina.

    Step 4. with your eyes closed, stick a pin anywhere in between the two lines you drew.

    Step 5. Move there.

  4. A good part of the problem is the nanny state culture we have allowed ourselves to be subjected to. After all “It takes a village”, and other such non-sense. (Thanks to Shrillary, or more properly her ghost writer for that tripe). Children need some supervision, but that doesn’t mean they don’t also need a little liberty to be, well, kids. If no crime is being committed then why the police involvement? The officers surely answered a call from who knows. I would consider a complaint to police higher ups, start a petition amongst the neighbors, and take up the issue with local politicians. Sadly, I’m afraid it’s going to get worse before it gets better.

    swiftee has a good geographical answer.

  5. I have memories of running around the neighborhood that we moved from when I was 4. I have noticed this a lot lately as my friends have kids. The one’s that live out in the country let their kids run wild, as we did as kids. The one’s in the city hold their kids indoors or outdoors while supervised. The danger is the same as when we were kids, but with a 24/7 news cycle we hear about it more. With everyone suing each other, I suspect the moment the neighbors called it in, the cop figured he had to cover himself should something (unlikely) happen to the kids. I totally disagree with that, but the world we now live in is infested with lawyers.

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  7. Story doesn’t pass Angryclown’s bullshit detector. Specially the part where the cop threatens to call social services if he finds the kids outside in a gated community. Something’s missing from the story.

  8. I think the key words here are “gated community.” Her neighbors are paying a premium to live in an area where there are no disturbing events. For them, kids playing in the street is disturbing. The police are just enforcing the unwritten guidelines.

  9. Of course, you do realize that the entire gated community is Republican, right? [Yes, I flew there last night and asked them all myself.]

  10. I’m not a particular fan of Hillary Clinton, but just to double check, I looked up her author credentials. She’s written not one, but two books, (I had only been aware of one) apparently entirely by herself, as I couldn’t find any indication of a ghost writer for either one.

    But perhaps Scott has a name for this apparently projected, entirely imaginary ghost writer? I didn’t do an exhaustive search, so surprise me.

    Or I’m guessing this is more wishful thinking than factual statement making.

    Again.

    Palin doesn’t appear to be able to write books, but she can cross out McCain’s name on a visor with a magic marker just fine.

    Anyone else see the Politifact 2009 Lie of the Year contest list? It’s very entertaining, especially as it involves as ‘finalists’ potential Presidential candidates that may be on the tickets for both of the major parties in 2012.

  11. Maybe Hillary and/or Sarah Palin can write books, and maybe they can’t.

    But I can, and have. And this meme is full of faulty assumptions that are being passed off as information.

    Let’s correct some of it, hopefully once and for all:

    I’m not a particular fan of Hillary Clinton, but just to double check, I looked up her author credentials. She’s written not one, but two books, (I had only been aware of one) apparently entirely by herself, as I couldn’t find any indication of a ghost writer for either one.

    Then you didn’t look very hard: for Living History: “Clinton reportedly used three ghostwriters for Living History, veteran ghostwriter Maryanne Vollers, speechwriter Alison Muscatine, and researcher Ruby Shamir.[4]

    And for It Takes A Village? “Clinton has been criticized for not giving credit to a ghostwriter in connection with It Takes a Village. The majority of the book was reportedly written by ghostwriter Barbara Feinman.[8] When the book was first announced in April 1995, The New York Times reported publisher Simon & Schuster as saying “The book will actually be written by Barbara Feinman, a journalism professor at Georgetown University in Washington. Ms. Feinman will conduct a series of interviews with Mrs. Clinton, who will help edit the resulting text.”

    So are you sure you wanna stick with that whole “ability to write ones’ own book is a sign that one is intelligent, and not a “popsie”” bit of yours?

    Or I’m guessing this is more wishful thinking than factual statement making.

    Again.

    Actually, it’d seem to be you that’s thinking wishfully. Among celebrities, even politicians, ghostwriters and editors are the norm, not the exception. You keep bringing this fact-free meme up as if it’s both true (I’ve just shown it’s not) and meaningful (again, it’s not!). Please stop! Endless repetition doesn’t make faulty information correct; maybe Palin is qualified to be President, and maybe she isn’t, but “can she write her own books?” is not a dispositive question for determining that.

    Palin doesn’t appear to be able to write books

    No, in the crush of this past year and a half – with a state, a Veep campaign, a baby, a family crisis, a major decision on the way forward with her and her family’s lives, and embarking on an apparent presidential compaign, she prioritized and delegated. In exactly the same way most political candidates, including Hillary Clinton, do.

    Writing a book is hard work and takes time – time that Palin, like Hillary, opted to spend on tasks that were more critical to them.

    (Indeed, It Takes A Village was ghostwritten for Hillary when she was just the First Lady, without a whole lot of formal “work” to do. I’ll await the sexist, degrading attacks on her intelligence. I mean, by your own definition, that made her a “popsie”, rigtht?).

  12. Mitch wrote”(Indeed, It Takes A Village was ghostwritten for Hillary when she was just the First Lady, without a whole lot of formal “work” to do. I’ll await the sexist, degrading attacks on her intelligence. I mean, by your own definition, that made her a “popsie”, rigtht?).

    While Barbara Feinman Todd claimed to be the ghostwriter for It Takes a Village, that claim was disputed by Hillary Clinton, who acknowledged Feinman as a researcher, but not ghostwriter.

    The difference being that a ghostwriter writes a book for someone else who takes credit for it as the author. Even Feinman agrees that Clinton was more involved in writing the book than that. In other words, Barbara Feinamn Todd acknowledges Clinton CAN write, and was very involved in producing that book. In other words, by the usual definition and usage, Feinaman Todd was not a ghostwriter

    I inadvertantly omitted another book for which there is no supposed ghostwriter, An Invitation to the White House:at home with history; and Dear Socks, Dear Buddy:Letters to the First Pets for which I could find no ghostwriter at all.

    Then there is her autobiography, Living History, for which she acknowledges the assistance of Maryanne Vollers, speechwriter Alison Muscatine and researcher Ruby Shamir. Should they have received co-authorship credit? Possibly. Did they ghostwrite the book for her? Apparently not.

    To date I have not seen any indication that Palin can write. Clinton apparently CAN, and has demonstrated it by producing multiple books.

    But somehow you would have us believe that Clinton as first lady, senator, campainger for President, and now Sec State just wasn’t very busy? Not plausible sir!

  13. While Barbara Feinman Todd claimed to be the ghostwriter for It Takes a Village, that claim was disputed by Hillary Clinton, who acknowledged Feinman as a researcher, but not ghostwriter.

    Hillary “disputes” it? Oh, well, then.

    Look – as noted in my previous, she had a staff of three to help her write a book – and even at that, it was done on a very leisurely schedule (delivered very, very late, as it happens).

    The difference being that a ghostwriter writes a book for someone else who takes credit for it as the author.

    You state that as if it’s a uniform thing. It’s not. Ghostwriters have as many different roles as there are authors.

    Even Feinman agrees that Clinton was more involved in writing the book than that. In other words, Barbara Feinamn Todd acknowledges Clinton CAN write, and was very involved in producing that book. In other words, by the usual definition and usage, Feinaman Todd was not a ghostwriter

    Look, DG – how far do you want to move the goalposts, here? First, Hillary wrote it all herself as she balanced a baby on one knee and the weight of the Republic on the other. Now she’s got a staff of three doing rewrites (at the very least), editing and research. And by the way, while you’re conveniently vague (as you very well should be, having gotten one key fact of the Clinton narrative 180 degrees off the truth already) as to what Feinman actually did (perhaps because you don’t know?), you miss the most key fact of all; writing isn’t all that hard. Rewriting is. Writing a book by yourself is a long, iterative process where writing the rough draft is the easy part – maybe 25% of the work. Since the actual primary source I quoted (something you have yet to favor us with) said that Feinmen et al DID in fact do the writing based on interviews (and, why not, notes and a first draft from Clinton), Pick a stance, and then stand!

    I inadvertantly omitted another book for which there is no supposed ghostwriter, An Invitation to the White House:at home with history; and Dear Socks, Dear Buddy:Letters to the First Pets for which I could find no ghostwriter at all.

    Puhleeze. It was a trifle – and she had all sorts of editorial help with it. She even acknoweldged that on the original publicity tour.

    Then there is her autobiography, Living History, for which she acknowledges the assistance of Maryanne Vollers, speechwriter Alison Muscatine and researcher Ruby Shamir. Should they have received co-authorship credit? Possibly. Did they ghostwrite the book for her? Apparently not.

    DG, let me put this politely; while it’s been obvious ever since you started this “Palin is unqualified since she didn’t write her book” meme that you misattribute the significance of “ghostwriting”, I now have very justifiable questions as to whether you know what ghostwriting, especially with a staff of three, really means.

    To date I have not seen any indication that Palin can write. Clinton apparently CAN, and has demonstrated it by producing multiple books.

    Look, DG, let’s forget for a moment that this thread has doubled back on itself – I’m the one who told YOU who ghost-wrote both books, remember? – the fact is that you have no idea whether Palin can write or not. I’ll put it in bold letters on the increasinly vain-seeming hope that you’ll retain it:

    1. We have no evidence, pro or con, of Palin’s writing ability. None. Pro OR Con.

    2. Unlike Clinton, Palin had about a six month window to write Going Rogue; even Joyce Carol Oates would have a hard time writing a book by herself in six months. And all of this while dealing with the aftermath of the campaign, dealing with Bristol’s situation AND her own baby, and getting a strategy together. Hiring a ghostwriter under the circumstances was the only rational response that’d allow everything (including the editorial process which, I can tell you from real personal experience, is 75-90% of the work) to get done at all, much less on time.

    But somehow you would have us believe that Clinton as first lady, senator, campainger for President, and now Sec State just wasn’t very busy? Not plausible sir!

    Secretary of State Clinton is working on a book? Do tell.

    You think Clinton was (outside of her year on the HIllarycare committee) anywhere nearly as busy as Palin between 1992 and 2000? Please substantiate. (I’ll give you a hand, here – you can’t. There is no comparison).

    And while you poo-pooh the role of the ghostwriters/editors/researchers (that you didn’t believe existed yesterday), it’s immense.

    Let’s face it; you’re choosing the explanation that best supports your dislike of Palin. You’re entitled to your opinion, but you are not entitled to your own facts.

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