Joe Doakes from Como Park emails:
The people demanding a ban on plastic drinking straws are all young and hip. They think it’d be easy to switch to paper straws and way cool.
Those of us who are old and unhip remember paper straws. They collapsed when sucking a malt. They got soggy and mashed in your mouth when drinking a Coke so you had to keep ripping the end off, making the straw shorter and shorter. They were skinny and tasted bad.
But hey, bring back the past, by all means – trains and paper straws and bicycle-only-streets. I can’t wait for buggy whips.
Joe Doakes
We’re getting a lot of the big innovations from the LBJ and McGovern era. Why not paper straws. And Cnevy Citations.
This latest lunatic movement is actually an engine of innovation for clever entrepreneurs.
For instance: How to make a paper straw that doesn’t collapse when drinking a shake?
Making plastic straws is no trick; just pour your pellets in, turn your extruder on and boom. The hardest part in the process is deciding what color to make today.
We’ve come a ways from the technology of wrapping paper straws and coating them with paraffin. Someone is on it, right now, and will develop the 21st Century straw.
‘Course paper uses dead trees. Dead trees = weeping Gaia. Weeping Gaia = moonbats chaining themselves in tree boughs.
There are some lunacies in the leftist pathology that human ingenuity just can’t overcome.
Paper straws and socialism – this time they will work!
I remember those paper straws that had bands of flavorings in them. It turned your milk to either chocolate or strawberry while it was going through the straw. To think that I actually liked those as a kid, makes me laugh.
Make them from iron, they’ll naturally rust away although they’ll give the drink that special metal bite! Maybe a problem that some ninja will turn them into weapons, but certainly we could look forward to a government resolution to that problem.
Night writer for the win!
Dann it man, there’s a bumper sticker in that, and a few hundred thousand Califorinans waiting to buy it.
I can’t wait for buggy whips.
They’ve already got those. 707 W. Lake St. And no, I’ve never been in there. I just know from driving past frequently as an Uber driver.
Make them from iron, they’ll naturally rust away although they’ll give the drink that special metal bite! Maybe a problem that some ninja will turn them into weapons, but certainly we could look forward to a government resolution to that problem.
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00O92HN3C/