Clear, Present

SCENE: Mitch BERG is mowing his lawn.  He stops to clear some crud from around the blades as Avery LIBRELLE slowly walks up behind him, picking up a flattened pop cup from the sidewalk.  LIBRELLE gets behind BERG and throws it at him.  It catches the air and planes away from BERG, who notices the sound of it flopping to the ground.

LIBRELLE:  Merg!   Get the hell out of public!

BERG:  (Shakes head wearily)  Hey, Avery.  What, now?

LIBRELLE:  We’re shutting you down!

BERG:  I’m mowing my lawn.  On my own property.   Why so violent?

LIBRELLE:  Oh, yeah?  What about when the Tea Partiers yelled at us progressives during the Town Hall meetings in 2009?

BERG:  Individuals expressed anger – but not violence – at events intended to be public dialogues.  No GOP leadership called for violence against the opposition…

LIBRELLE:  I am the Resistance!  I am going to attack you, because Trump is literally Hitler.    So get off your lawn before I kill you!

BERG:  Seems a little drastic  (Resumes clearing blade).

LIBRELLE:  Besides, you need to know…

BERG: You know I have surveillance cameras on my yard, and our entire interaction has been taped, right?


BERG:  (Shakes head, restarts mower)


9 thoughts on “Clear, Present

  1. Mitch – I think you are predicting what’s going to be happening in the near future. Currently, the attacks (verbal or assault) are happening in restaurants. People with too much time on their hands, and no job they’re afraid of losing for being a jerk in public, are harassing people that disagree with them politically.

    In the near future, I can see something like this happening – progressive neighbors decide that you haven’t had enough lawn signs up (BLM, All are Welcome, Love Trumps Hate, any DFL endorsed candidates), you fly a US flag properly, and had some Christmas decorations in years past. That’s enough to condemn you as a hater. And, since you’re a hater, it’s ok to assault you.

    If they were to come up face to face and do so, I’m fine with that (to paraphrase RP McMurphy, I like to fight and fornicate). However, I see the attacks more similar to what happened to Rand Paul. And, I think that’s when things are going to get ugly. Someone gets jumped, and they respond with overwhelming Violence of Action (VOA) instead of controlled VOA. Something about getting punched in the head from behind can trigger a serious berserker response totally out of proportion to what initially occurred. In other words, the initial puncher gets hospitalized and the person that was in their own yard and minding their business gets jailed.

  2. Avery LIBRELLE is quickly becoming my all time favorite fictional character…. uh, that is… if he is actually fictional.

  3. Its only a paraody because Mitch wrote it. I really think the left has lost their marbles on this one. Imagine if they actually lose seats in the house and we inch close to 60 in the Senate. Trumps biggest legislative foes then become the Beltway Republicans, with the Democrats becoming a afterthought and in danger of becoming a permanent minority party.

  4. LIBRELLE: I am the Resistance! I am going to attack you…..

    “I thoroughly disapprove of duels. I consider them unwise and I know they are dangerous. Also, sinful. If a man should challenge me now I would go to that man and take him kindly and forgivingly by the hand and lead him to a quiet retired spot and kill him”……Mark Twain

  5. Just wait until Trump nominates his next SCOTUS justice.

    [Rubs hands together] Mmwahaha!

  6. the Baby Boomers aren’t giving up on their dreams just yet, this article:

    lays out the vision for the future that the left is rapidly approaching:

    “This is all going to get more extreme. And it should. We are living in extreme times….I do not believe that Trump administration officials should be able to live their lives in peace and affluence while they inflict serious harms on large portions of the American population. Not being able to go to restaurants and attend parties and be celebrated is just the minimum baseline here. …Wait until the recession comes. Wait until Trump starts a war. Wait until the racism this administration is stoking begins to explode into violence more frequently. Read a fucking history book. Read a recent history book. The U.S. had thousands of domestic bombings per year in the early 1970s. This is what happens when citizens decide en masse that their political system is corrupt, racist, and unresponsive. The people out of power have only just begun to flex their dissatisfaction. “

  7. C’mon now, Mitch! Do you really expect us to believe that Librelle picked up a piece of litter? Preposterous!

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