To: The Entire Gay Movement:
From: Mitch Berg, Irascible Peasant
Re: The Mote
Dear Every Gay In The World,
I’m Mitch Berg. I’m a conservative – but I can’t say as I’ve ever hated gays. Indeed, I’ve probably done more to fight the overt, physical hatred of gays than most of you have. And the simple fact is, after over a decade as a single parent, I have barely had time or energy to put into my own sexuality, much less bother with anyone else’s.
Now, I’ve had my beefs with you all – the whole “if you oppose gay marriage, you are teh bigot!” campaign was a crime against logic.
And while I don’t believe anyone would “choose” to be gay, there’s actually nearly no evidence that it’s genetic, either. Most of what I’ve read makes me think it’s an adaptation.
And y’know what? I don’t care; God loves you all, and it’s not for me not to, even if I were so inclined, which I’m not.
I don’t care much for “identity” movements, since they tend to politicize things that ought not be politicized. But I get it; decades of repression, yadda yadda. I’ll call it square.
But I’ll just say your whole “want to be accepted” thing would sit a lot easier with real humans if Dan Savage hadn’t appointed himself your spokesbeing. Emphasis added by yours truly:
A few days ago, Savage told the Family Research Council’s Josh Duggar of “19 Kids and Counting” to “go f**k yourself” after Duggar posted a picture with Rick Santorum. Savage then made a child molestation joke against Pope John Paul II, and now he’s going after the GOP. After Ben Carson said that he believes being gay “is absolutely a choice” in an interview with CNN March 4, Dan Savage tweeted out: “Being gay is a choice? Prove it: Choose it yourself. Suck my dick.”
Dan Savage; anti-bullying crusader.
Please pass the word to Mr. Savage (and I ask this not because I think y’all have a secret underground network, but just on the off-chance that someone out there knows that big arrogant trained chimp) that he would seem to find cognitive dissonance more threatening than does the most inbred redneck.
And that’s a bad thing.
That is all.