The Ends Justify The Memes
By Mitch Berg
Another from Red:
Five snacks I enjoy in a perfect, non weight-gaining world:
- Chips and Salsa
- Nachos
- Chex Party Mix (with excessive worcestershire sauce)
- Key Lime Pie
- Root Beer Floats
Five snacks I enjoy in the real world:
- Popcorn
- Apples
- Grapefruit
- Homemade Yogurt
- Soy Nuts
Five things I would do if I were a billionaire:
- Travel. Europe, of course, especially the parts I haven’t seen (Norway, Ireland, Spain, Italy), but I’d love to get to the Near East – Turkey, Kurdistan, Armenia, Georgia – as well as India, Taiwan, Korea and Japan. Then maybe start on South America.
- Real estate. I’d pay off my house (duh), get some sort of place in NYC, Chicago, Seattle, Colorado, San Diego and Edinburgh, and – natch – a lake cabin up north.
- Support non-profits that resonate with me. First and foremost the Salvation Army; they were there when I needed them waaaay back when, and I want to return the favor a thousand times over. Heritage and Cato and the NRA, too, of course. Every genuine conservative candidate for office in Minnesota could expect me to max my donation, naturally. And my church, of course.
- I’d set up a sensible, far-from-extravagant trust fund for the kids. One that’d pay off when they turn 30. Because there’s nothing in the world more obnoxious than teens and twentysomethings with scads of unearned money.
- Buy a sailboat. And sail. A lot.
Five (non-academic) jobs that I have had:
- Human Interaction Designer
- Technical Writer
- Nightclub DJ
- Radio (reporter, producer, play-by-play, talk show host, music director, disc jockey)
- Bellhop.
Five habits:
- Waking up at 5:30 a.m.
- Blogging
- Biting my fingernails
- Drinking lots of water
- Whenever I see an airplane in the air, saying a quiet prayer for the passengers. Not sure when or why that started, but it is virtually a reflex.
Five places I have lived:
Heh.
- Rugby, ND
- Jamestown, ND
- Carrington, ND
- Minneapolis
- Saint Paul
Five people I want to get to know better
Like Red, I’m not sure who this refers to. I don’t tag bloggers. And this is one list I don’t really think about; there are zillions of people I’d like to know better (and a few from whom I’d happily distance myself).
July 11th, 2008 at 7:19 am
Mitch fantasized: “Travel. Europe, of course, especially the parts I haven’t seen (Norway, Ireland, Spain, Italy)…
Real estate. I’d pay off my house (duh), get some sort of place in NYC, Chicago, Seattle, Colorado, San Diego…
Buy a sailboat. And sail. A lot.”
How very elite of you.
July 11th, 2008 at 7:55 am
How do you make yogurt? Love the sailboat idea. I would sail the south Pacific.
July 11th, 2008 at 8:05 am
“Not sure when or why that started, but it is virtually a reflex.”
I do the same thing, but I know exactly when and why that started. Do you remember the silence in the sky post 9-11, and how strange it was seeing planes flying after that?
“I would sail the south Pacific.” my goal is the Pacific Northwest.
July 11th, 2008 at 8:54 am
How very elite of you.
Yes, indeed.
How do you make yogurt?
This is a decent source, although there are a zillion sites on the web.
July 11th, 2008 at 9:51 am
I do the same thing, but I know exactly when and why that started. Do you remember the silence in the sky post 9-11, and how strange it was seeing planes flying after that?
For me, it started years before that. I think it was when I was driving down Highway Five under the airport’s south glidepath to get to work, back in the early nineties. I’d see planes taking off right above me, and I just started.
Do you remember the silence in the sky post 9-11, and how strange it was seeing planes flying after that?
Yep. Three things I remember:
a) Walking out of my office on 9/13 at lunchtime, and seeing contrails over Minneapolis. Two of them. Circling and looping. F16s on combat air patrol. Only planes in the sky.
b) One morning right around then, waking up at 4:30 AM because I noticed the sound of a jet overhead. Years of having planes going overhead, 24/7, and I’d rarely noticed. That morning, it woke me up. It was one of those planes that got special permission to carry medical supplies and such; I actually heard it on the news.
c) One evening within a week or two of 9/11, at soccer practice with my kids, among all the other parents, mostly volvo-driving, alpaca-wearing, Wellstone-voting Merriam Park liberals. We hear a roar coming from the south; an F16 flies overhead at about 500 feet, heading (I presume) back to Duluth after topping up at MSP. We – all of us, even the ones who had the “Wouldn’t it be great if the Air Force had to have a bake sale to buy a bomber” stickers on their cars” – cheered with gusto.
July 11th, 2008 at 10:44 am
“We – all of us, even the ones who had the “Wouldn’t it be great if the Air Force had to have a bake sale to buy a bomber” stickers on their cars” – cheered with gusto.”
How silly. I guess the Air Force did an okay job of keeping the barn door shut long after the horse had bolted, but please.
Because Minnesota faced no danger, you also had no heroes. The heroes on 9/11 were in NYC, at the Pentagon in Arlington, Va. and in a field in Pennsylvania. You were spectators, way up in the cheap seats. NYFD, NYPD, EMS and a bunch of Defense Department guys deserved the cheers, not the Air Force. Certainly not the dickhead flying Airforce One around the country all day looking for a good hiding place.
July 11th, 2008 at 10:52 am
Clown,
What a very curious outburst.
The Air Force really had no brief to bomb Logan and Newark airports.
And while I can’t possibly dispute the whole “no danger” bit as it happened, you’re wrong on the hero bit (Minnesotan Tom Burnett led the passengers on Flight 93 in their revolt) and the villains as well (a local judge refused to give the FBI a warrant to search Zacarias Moussaoui’s computer – which arguably might have tripped the whole plot).
When they finally did, by the way, they found that the Mall Of America had made at least one list of potential targets, although not the short one.
Which really has nothing to do with my (and Mo’N’s) habit of praying for passengers.
July 11th, 2008 at 10:54 am
Oh – and I still cheer when I see F16s.
And I really holler when I’m tooling through western North Dakota and see B52s. THOSE are cool.
July 11th, 2008 at 11:01 am
Angryclown simply gets annoyed when you in the flyovers pretend you live in the fly-intos.
The fact that you wingnuts get wood when you see military hardware and guys in uniforms is not news to Angryclown. That does nothing to do with whether the USAF had dick-all to do with saving or protecting people on 9/11. It didn’t. And as you admit, the only Minnesotans who were heroes on that day were someplace other than Minnesota – namely in New York, Arlington, Va. and Shanksburg, Pa.
July 11th, 2008 at 11:10 am
“And I really holler when I’m tooling through western North Dakota and see B52s. THOSE are cool.”
We can agree on that, my friend.
http://snipurl.com/2wswn
July 11th, 2008 at 11:15 am
you wingnuts get wood
FY90 steel, baby.
July 11th, 2008 at 11:17 am
whether the USAF had dick-all to do with saving or protecting people on 9/11
Then please have a word with all your conspiracy theory clown friends who, in between saying “Bush blew up the towers”, claim that the Air Force specifically diverted the F16s (of the North Dakota Air National Guard, btw) from Langley to assure that the Pentagon would get hit.
July 11th, 2008 at 11:22 am
They are not Angryclown’s friends. They are idiots. Plus I thought it was a cruise missile that hit the Pentagon. Or a drone.
And of course Bush blew up the towers. Who would expect a building to fall down simply because a COMMERCIAL AIRLINER FILLED WITH JET FUEL crashed into it?
Don’t get Angryclown started.
July 11th, 2008 at 11:23 am
Don’t get Angryclown started.
Wasn’t aware that I ever had…
They are not Angryclown’s friends
Well, I sure don’t claim ’em…
July 11th, 2008 at 11:30 am
I thought angryclown’s job was to protect soft-headed idiots? Has there been a recent career change?
July 11th, 2008 at 12:10 pm
Angryclown doesn’t protect ’em. He prefers to bang their soft heads together.
July 11th, 2008 at 12:21 pm
I always suspected that angryclown was a head banger, but I never thought he would treat members of his own party so viciously. *shrug*
July 11th, 2008 at 12:23 pm
Angryclown belongs to a party of one. Idiots beware. Angryclown is your scourge.
July 11th, 2008 at 12:54 pm
Clown: “party of one”
Berg: “What is “phrase that sounds dirty, even though it isn’t?”, Alex?”
July 11th, 2008 at 2:05 pm
“Clown, party of one”
He hears that at restaurants a lot.
July 11th, 2008 at 4:12 pm
I guess I should delete your posts from my blog?
Nah, I’ll leave them up.
July 11th, 2008 at 4:20 pm
On your blog, you are king.
July 11th, 2008 at 5:15 pm
Is it get ripped and comment on blogs hour already? Jeez! I better get going… 😉
July 11th, 2008 at 5:42 pm
Five snacks I enjoy in a perfect, non weight-gaining world:
1. Spinach dip & bread
2. Olive oil & bread
3. Guacamole dip & chips
4. Chips and that hot nacho-cheese dip in the can
5. Vanilla malts
Five snacks I enjoy in the real world:
1. Lime-chili almonds
2. Blueberries w/cream
3. Popcorn
4. Yogurt
5. Pretzels
Five things I would do if I were a billionaire:
1. Also travel. Norway, Sweden, Russia, Germany, France, Austria & Italy. Then on to Turkey, Greece and India.
2. Build a cabin in either Leadville, CO or northern New Mexico.
3. Give to the Lord whether that be through church or charities. Give to those organizations that truly help the needy. And I’ve thought that some kind of a fund that can help would-be adoptive parents with the unbelieveable expense associated with adoption would be a neat idea.
4. Help my grown kids the way we’ve been helped through the years (although I think my daughter could probably help us now!).
5. Pay off every damn credit card and loan. Wouldn’t that feel great?!
Five (non-academic) jobs that I have had:
1. Hotel maid (Vail & Leadville, CO)
2. Bus-girl
3. Window manufacturing
4. Bank teller
5. Siebel database administrator (aka peon)
Five habits:
1. Used to pull my hair-comes and goes
2. Reading while eating (or vice versa)
3. Counting word syllables on my fingers (silently)-it’s an OB thing I guess
4. Using “chapstick” and lotion excessively
5. Praying for whoever when I am passed by or meet an amublance.
Five places I have lived:
1. Milwaukee, WI
2. Portland, OR
3. Moorhead, MN
4. Leadville, CO
5. Warroad, MN
Five people I want to get to know better
Alive or dead (sorry if that’s a dumb question)? Celebrities or “regular” people? Needs to be clarified a bit.
July 11th, 2008 at 6:17 pm
If I could meet any historical figure, I’d choose Hitler. Cause that guy could use a serious ass-kicking.
July 13th, 2008 at 12:25 am
“Cause that guy could use a serious ass-kicking.”
I thought it was handled better in Little Nikki. Come on, clown, you should keep to your groove, not ad lib like that!
July 13th, 2008 at 7:44 am
“Little Nicky” you mean? (Assuming you don’t mean the Prince song “Darling Nikki.”)
You’ve got Angryclown there, nerdbert. Angryclown isn’t all that familiar with the Adam Sandler oeuvre, owing to the fact that Adam Sandler sucks. (I’ve seen “The Wedding Singer” and that one where he stretches his SNL “Cajun Man” sketch into a football movie. Reviews: sucked, sucked.
I’m sure you found it most amusing, however.
July 14th, 2008 at 10:57 am
Little Nicky was one of two movies I’ve ever walked out of, and Waterboy would have to move up a star to suck.
But I liked Wedding Singer. Not sure why, I just did.
July 14th, 2008 at 10:17 pm
5 snacks in the non WGW ice cream, ice cream, ice cream, ice cream, ice cream.
5 in the RW ice cream, ice cream, ice cream, ice cream and ice cream.
July 15th, 2008 at 6:04 am
Finally you have attracted an intelligent Mitchketeer. Yes, jpmn, it is all about ice cream.