I’ll Be The One On Fire
By Mitch Berg
George Carlin, dead at 71:
Jeff Abraham says Carlin went into St. John’s Health Center on Sunday afternoon, complaining of chest pain. Carlin died at 5:55 p.m. PDT. He was 71.Carlin, who had a history of heart trouble, performed as recently as last weekend at the Orleans Casino and Hotel in Las Vegas. It was announced Tuesday that Carlin was being awarded the 11th annual Mark Twain Prize for American Humor.
Carllin – on cassette and eight-track tapes, on school road trips – was my first exposure to edgy comedy. In the late seventies, he was pretty vogue. And then, in the early eighties, I saw an HBO retrospective on Carlin’s very, very long career – his road from fairly “straight” comedian to “counterculture” icon, and realizing how very, very good the guy was. Angry and dyspeptic, to be sure – but amazingly funny.
Of course, one of his bits was a useful mnemonic for me:
The dean of counterculture comedians, Carlin constantly pushed the envelop with his jokes, particularly with a routine called “The Seven Words You Can Never Say On TV.”
I remember seeing Carlin performing in the early-mid nineties, and thinking “this is kinda sad” – it was like he’d lost his comedic mojo somewhere along the way. But when he was on, he was surely on.
Sh*t,, T***, P**s, F**k, ***t, C********r, M**********r. Now I’m sad.
June 23rd, 2008 at 8:18 am
Mitch, they’re in the wrong order. I’m greaving, too, FWIW.
June 23rd, 2008 at 8:58 am
I’m doing them in the order I memorized ’em.
Optimized for radio (or, y’know, not) don’t y’know.
June 23rd, 2008 at 9:17 am
George Carlin was an interesting guy. When I would read through one of his books or listen to one of his routines, I didn’t know whether I wanted to have lunch with him or punch him in the nose. Half of what he said appealed to me, and half of it ticked me off. He never seemed to have anything good to say about Republicans, but at the same time, he never shied away from calling out “politically correct” liberals on their stupidity. He was an equal opportunity critic, and I have to respect him for that.
What I enjoyed most about him was his stint as the little Conductor dude on Shining Time Station/Thomas the Tank Engine. I loved watching that show with my kids. Here was a guy who had a longstanding reputation as a “dirty” comedian, yet he was the perfect narrator for those children’s stories. Someday when my kids are older they are going to see footage of Carlin doing one of his controversial routines, and I am going to blow their socks off by telling them that this is Thomas’s conductor.
“If a white South African racist came to America, first of all, he’d have a lot of company…and he would have every right to call himself an African-American.”
June 23rd, 2008 at 9:17 am
Yep, T*** was definitely last. (New, from Nabisco!)
June 23rd, 2008 at 10:05 am
Sh*t
P*ss
F*ck
C*nt
C*ck-s*cker
Mother-f*cker
T*ts
Plus the bonus three:
Fart
Turd and
Tw*t
Saw him live four times… but after his wife died in the late 90s he got too angry and bent out of shape. Fans of Carlin’s later days are some of the same folks that say Rush Limbaugh is angry and bitter.
Hmmm, sure. Right. “You are All Diseased” is not finely tuned comedy… it is somewhat focused bile and rage. Some of it is even funny… not nearly as much as “Parental Advisory – Explicit Lyrics” (which is one of his best) and “Jammin’ in New York”.
“What am I Doing in New Jersey” might have been the beginning of his gradual slide into his hate-comedy routines.
I’m going to go back and listen to Willie West and Scott Lame on the “Nifty Eight-Fifty”… Wonderful WINO (Wonderful WINO, the big sound in the big town!), not forgetting the Hippy Dippy Weatherman (with all your hippy, dippy weather… man).
June 23rd, 2008 at 10:17 am
The Carlin bit I always liked the best was the one about the differences between football and baseball. He did this bit frequently on television (because it wasn’t blue) and it varied a little bit each time, but the gist of it was: in football the object is to penetrate enemy defenses to reach the end zone, while in baseball the object is to go home.
June 23rd, 2008 at 10:36 am
I pay homage to my first favorite Carlin bit, one from the early years of his career – “The Indian Sergeant”.
June 23rd, 2008 at 11:20 am
Football is played at War Memorial Stadium.
Baseball is played in a park
The object of football is to penertate the enemy end-zone.
In baseball you just want to go home.
Football has downs.
Baseball has ups.
Football is played on a gridiron.
Baseball is played on a diamond.
There’s probably more.
June 23rd, 2008 at 11:57 am
There’s definitely more, but that’s essentially it. GREAT bit. Every bit as good as A Place For Your Stuff.
June 23rd, 2008 at 12:25 pm
Here’s some more:
In football the object is for the quarterback, also known as the field general, to be on target with his aerial assault, riddling the defense by hitting his receivers with deadly accuracy in spite of the blitz, even if he has to use shotgun. With short bullet passes and long bombs, he marches his troops into enemy territory, balancing this aerial assault with a sustained ground attack that punches holes in the forward wall of the enemy’s defensive line.
In baseball the object is to go home! And to be safe! – I hope I’ll be safe at home!
The guy really understood how to use the language.
June 23rd, 2008 at 12:46 pm
I’m fond of his observations on driving.
Ever notice that everyone driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone driving faster than you is a maniac?
And the “My brother drives like this” joke.
June 23rd, 2008 at 2:58 pm
Speaking of driving, now there will be no Fillmore in Cars2. I doubt Disney would go after the original stoner, Tommy Chong. Carlin did an excellent imitation of Chong in Cars, altho I’m sure he wasn’t trying to.
At the rate things are going, there might not be a Doc in Cars2 either.
June 23rd, 2008 at 4:33 pm
I still have a tee-shirt from a circa 1994 live show in Des Moines. The back says “Simon says go F**k yourself”. I can’t wear it anywhere, but I can’t bring myself to throw it away.
He really did become nothing more than a bitter old man after his wife died. In my mind, he died back then.
June 23rd, 2008 at 6:12 pm
Carlin was essentially doing his Al Sleet character in Cars.
They don’t have Red either, and they might not have Doc Hudson at this rate either… but a quick cameo would be enough. Simply, “Respect the classics, man… it’s Hendricks!” would be enough for me.
June 24th, 2008 at 6:00 am
The death of his wife. So that’s what it was.
I was a huge fan of Carlin in the 70s. In the 80’s, when he hosted for Carson, I liked him somewhat less. You mature, your tastes change, right?
Then I saw him as the priest in Dogma. Okay, Kevin Smith isn’t the world’s greatest director; probably less so when working with a living legend. But Carlin wasn’t funny; he blew the role into unbelievable.
Then I saw him at Mystic Lake in 2002 or so. The first half of his show was, amusing, I guess. I actually laughed once, I think. The second half was an angry, bitter diatribe that wasn’t funny once. It was painful.
I’ll try to remember him as he was, way back.