Our Cuturally-Illiterate Elite

I may owe Ryan Winkler an apology.

I mean, growing up in rural North Dakota back when only Al Gore had access to the Internet, even I knew what “uncle Tom” meant when applied to a black man – so naturally I figured someone in his position, Harvard grad and all, would as well. Clearly, so did many others.

And although I’m an Anglo from the northern Plains, I’ve known what a Coyote – a slang term for a human trafficker who brings people across the border, either as illegal immigrants, sex slaves or mules – was for quite a while now.

But apparently a Harvard education does one no better in this context:

Y’know what’s “sickening”? Having a bunch of people whose opinion is considered above the rest of the world by dint of being a “blue check”, who are given to lecturing the deporables about their cultural illiteracy, who are themselves so culturally illiterate:

Just remember that when Blue America starts talking about getting rid of the electoral college.

It’s Your Fault, Peasants

Jeffrey Toobin – caught on his own camera doing some, er, internal polling earlier this week – doesn’t have the problem.

All of you who are complaining that he was seen, non-social distancing, during a work meeting – you are the ones with the problems!

And that’s also what everyone is going to remember about Jeffrey Toobin, I’m afraid. But that says more about us than it does about him.

According to a 2016 survey, 95% of men and 81% of women in America have masturbated. Yet in the same poll, over half of respondents said they felt uncomfortable talking about it.

So we joke about it, instead, which relieves our anxieties but reinforces the taboo. Witness the outpouring of juvenile humor over the past two days about “Toobin his own horn,” his “sticky situation,” and so on.

Well, there was the little matter that he was “going on his third date with Rachel Maddow” or “universal gun registration” or “nationwide mask mandates” [or whomever it is that “progressive” guys think about while in flagrante solo] during a work meeting. On camera. A nation full of people who’ve been stuck on Teams or Zoom meetings (if we’re lucky) for seven months and joking about people not wearing pants “to work” are suddenly seeing how our self-appointed “elites” spend their time.

So of course you’re the one with the problem.


Joe Doakes from Como Park emails:

Fernandez writes about the urge to escape confinement, and how it’s universal. Even throws in a Shawshank Redemption quote. He labels it “rebellion,” a word that implies the authorities are right and the rebels are wrong.

Close, but no cigar. His analysis doesn’t distinguish the need to escape UNJUST confinement, which was what occurred in that film, and has occurred with all the lock-downs.

“Cases” are skyrocketing despite lock-downs and mask orders, but “deaths” are not, and particularly not among children, teens, young adults and working people. That means universal house arrest is not necessary, never was. We’re being punished for no good reason. That’s unjust confinement.

The urge to escape unjust confinement is not only natural, it’s right and moral and just. It’s not an act of rebellion against lawful authority. The people trying to continue the unjust confinement are in the wrong, not those of us trying to escape it.

Joe Doakes

I’ve got a mother in memory care. I’ll be protecting her (and/or going along with her facility’s plans for taking care of her), whatever it takes.

I’m also going to get a ^%$#@ social life back.

Both can be done.

Expect 30 Minutes Of Tina Smith Ads Per Hour For The Next 12 Days

Usual disclaimers about “the only poll that counts is on November 3 [1] inserted here.

But pessimist that I am, I really didn’t see this coming


Polls finding more-likely voters, ones who’ve actually been paying attention?

We’ll see.

I’ve heard more than a few fellow D-list pundits exclaim disbelief at “12% undecided”. I’m going to chalk that up to some misdirected Pauline Kael syndrome, from people who “write”/tweet about politics constantly, thinking everyone is the same as they are. Smith has tried hard to follow A-Klo’s model of being innocuous and invisible. We’ll see if it works.

Lewis beating the Butcher Of Vandalia would be an early Christmas present.

[1] And, let’s be honest, as we saw in 2008 and 2010, it still may not count, really, but let’s try not to go completely down the rabbit hole.

For Your Framing, T-Shirting, Bumper-Stickering And Lawn-Signing Pleasure

From the “Bitter Barrista” comedy videoblog, we get what may be the most perfect, if coarse, response to the excesses of modern authoritarian therapeutic culture. (Language occasionaly NSFW).

First, the vid:

Then, the line:

“Has it ever occurred to you that that it’s no one else’s responsibility to make sure that you’re emotionally stable? But you can’t comprehend that, can you? Because being an alleged victim of circumstances is the only identity that you possess. You use minor inconveniences to belittle other people just so you can inflate your own sense of self-importance, because you’ve never actually accomplished shit in your life. And if you were to take that time to look inwards to reflect, you would weep at the pathetic puddle you’ve reduced the confines of your life to. Then again, life was never a game of rock, paper, a scissor, where logic doesn’t always defeat entitled bitch! By the way, I called you Karen because I’m a nice person. What I mean is C__t”

When you apply this to so many peoples’ responses to so many of life’s travails – quarantining, the results of the last Presidential election, any sort of cognitive dissonance in education, society or the workplace – it really is perfect.

I suspect Bitter Barista is affiliated with Black Rifle Coffee Company, which can only be a good thing. And it’s one of the funniest channels on Youtube, which is a low bar, I know, but it jumps it with style.

Amy’s Got A/Many Gun/s

Joe Doakes from Como Park emails:

Wouldn’t it be funny to hear her say, “No, I do not own A gun. Not one single, solitary gun. I own a Mighty Shitload of guns, and have ammo for all of them! So There!”

Joe Doakes

As long as she drags the SCOTUS into giving strict scrutiny to gun rights cases, I don’t care if she’s got her grandpa’s .25 automatic diassembled in different parts of her house.

But Joe’s right – ACB having a collection that rivals Ted Nugent’s would be pretty cool.

Where Have You Gone, Learned Foot…

…the nation turns its lonely, topical limerick and haiku writing eyes to you. And Ryan Rhodes.

But since Foot is retired and Ryan is MIA, we’ll have to fill in ourselves.

There once was a fellow named Toobin
(Don’t confuse him with Jennifer Rubin).
His career met its doom,
when he dropped trou on Zoom
Now there’s a different part getting the lube-in.

Toobin takes “lid” off,
Two weeks’ frenzy erupts, as
Biden’s lid stays on.

So Toobin had fun of the kind,
the nuns said would make you go blind.
But there’s no point in moping,
it’s just Jeff’s way of hoping
for less trouble than the conjugal kind.

Carry on.


As a typical rural scandinavian by upbringing, “optimism” comes hard for me.

This election is no exception.

Same as the last one, really. Those who were listening to the NARN on election night 2016 may recall that when I saw Wisconsin drop in the hoop for the President, I was briefly speechless, and my head started swimming. Being speechless is a bad thing on talk radio – so I said the only thing I could think of: “I think someone slipped LSD in the cucumber water, here at the Radisson Blu”.

Such was the cognitive dissonance.

Anyway – call it being of Norwegian descent; call it the political fatalism that comes from being a conservative in a moldy blue city for 35 years; call it whatever you want. I see the evidence of the enthusiam gap in Trump’s favor – but am sort of wired, by this point, to think that whatever the transiet passions of suburban soccer moms don’t screw up, the Democrat fraud machine will.

And that bothers me a lot more this year than it did four years ago, because as awful a president as Killary would have been, she was a known-ish quantitiy. If you liked Slick Willy with a dose of hectoring harpy on top, you could deal with her.

Slow Joe? He’s nothing but a delivery system for The Squad, via their competent aunt Kamala.

But it’s a lost cause. The polls prove it! NPR keeps saying so.

Well, most of the polling.

Trafalgar was the canary in the coalmine four years ago, and they remain resolutely contrarian this go-around as well.

Trafalgar tries to avoid so-called weighting to get the partisan mix of respondents right. A traditional pollster might want to get, say, 35 percent Republicans to have a balanced survey, but he comes up short because Republicans are less likely to respond. If only, say, 22 percent of Republicans answer, they are given additional weight to make up for the shortfall.

“The better you do at getting an even sample,” according to Cahaly, “the less weighting you have to do.”

One problem with weighting is that Republicans “who don’t like Trump can’t wait to answer a poll,” he says. “So immediately, within the 22 percent, they’ve probably overrepresented it, the anti-Trump Republicans, the Never Trumper types. Well, when you weight that up from 22 to 35, now you have skewed an already bad representation sample. So that’s kind of inherently how they can be so off.”

The whole thing is worth a read.

We shall see.

Biden Ad – Part 3

Joe Doakes from Como Park emails:

Joe Biden’s really plastering the airwaves with ads. Saw another one. Did you know Trump gave tax cuts to the rich? Yep. Said it right in the ad, so it must be true.

I wonder . . . what are the qualifications to get that tax cut? My wife and I got a check earlier this Spring – $1,200 apiece – was that the tax cut for the rich? I think we also got a bigger refund last year. Maybe that was it?

I have my taxes done by HR Block. You’d think they would have mentioned if I could take advantage of a tax cut. Maybe I’m not rich enough? How rich do you have to be? If Biden is going to take away tax cuts, that means somebody is paying higher taxes. Is it going to be me?

You know, Joe, before I fill in the box next to your name, I’m going to want a few more details on which tax cuts you’re taking back. Care to be more specific?

Joe Doakes

It’s true because shut up.

Straight Outta Wonderland

First it was Kanye West – one of rap’s most consistently creative (and yes, unbalancee) figures. [1], endorsing Trump three years ago.

Then it was Ice Cube – formerly of NWA, and more famous as an actor these days – not so much “endorsing Trump” as asking blacks what the Democrats have done for them lately, and getting a lot of “because shut up” from white progressives as an answer.

And now, Fifty Cent- who realized that under the BIden tax plan he’d just be Thirty Cent:

While I remain resolutely apathetic about celebrities’ political opinions, let’s look below the surface. Say what you will about rap [1], but at a time in the election season when celebs are supposed to be threatening to move to France, you’ve got three incredibly successful black men, actively telling their own community that the party that has considered their votes their property for two generations, doesn’t deserve ’em.

So what? Other than a lot of adenoidal progressive white and academic black critics saying Cube, Kanye and Fifty Cent were never all that good anyway, , I mean?

I’m wondering if part of the reason Biden – who, the media polls tell us, has an eleventy-teen digit lead over Trump in Minnesota – is spending to much money in an ostensibly safe state is the Democrats are worried about the black vote slipping away?

Remember – it’s been estimated that if the Dems’ take of the black vote ever drops below 80%, they are sunk nationwide. Not the whole black vote; one in five.

Is that in striking distance?

Continue reading

RIP Sid Hartman

Sometimes it seems like everyone in the Twin Cties has a Sid Hartman story.

I had one – 34 years ago. And I can’t believe I never wrote about it in my “Twenty Years Ago Today” series.

I was working as a stringer – an ad-hoc freelance reporter – for WGN in Chicago. My job was to send reports on the game back to WGN – actually, to the show that Dana Carvey, Mike Meyers, John Goodman and Chris Farley lampooned a few years later, in the immortal “Da Bearss” bit – at halftime and at the end of the game.

This game happened to be Tommy Kramer’s best throwing game ever – five touchdowns against Forrest Gregg’s hapless ’86 Packers.

After the game, I walked down into the locker room and was interviewing Kramer, when I saw a mike creep up in front of the quarterback’s face. It was Sid. And he was bogarting the answer to my question.

And I felt a little flattered.

There are other, better Sid stories. This one may be my favorite

Biden Ad – Part 2

Joe Doakes from Como Park emails:

Saw another Biden ad. Did you know Trump plans to eliminate Social Security? Really. But never fear, Joe Biden’s got a plan to save it. Good for him. You go, Joe!

Except. . . what, exactly, is that plan? Everybody knows Social Security is insolvent, but as far as I know there are only three solutions and all of them suck, which is why nobody in Washington is pushing them, not even Trump.

We could raise the retirement age high enough that people die before collecting. That would save money.

We could cut benefits low enough that there’d be enough for everybody to get a check, though maybe not enough to live on.

We could raise taxes on our kids’ incomes high enough to fund current benefits and current retirement age, but that would leave our kids destitute.

You know, Joe, before I pull the lever for you, I’m going to need some more details on this ‘plan’ of yours. Care to be more specific?

Joe Doakes

I keep yelling that at my TV/computer, several times a day.

Their pollsters just have to know that “Joe has a plan!” can only resonate with idiots.




Remember December 1, 2016?

Maybe not.

But if you don’t, I consider it my mission to make sure that date lives on – dare I say, in infamy.

It was the date that reps from the New York Times and Washington Post newsrooms went on the air and told the nation…

…well, the tiny, self-selecting part of the nation that listens to NPR on the weekend – that it was time for the news media to stop playing by the rules that they always told the nation they played by, the whole “telling people the facts and let them draw their own concusions” thing, and started using their power to “de-normalize” President Trump.

And almost four years later, here we are:

Not Martin Van Buren, the most genuinely corrupt president in history.

Not James Buchanan, the inept buffoon who all but sent out engraved invitations to the Civil War.

Not Woodrow Wilson, the Princeton dean who lied about keeping the nation out of war, did more than any other single person to federalize and weaponize Jim Crow and empower the Klan, and launch the bureaucratic state that’s eating the nation alive today.

No. Trump. A coarse populist buffoon who has, nonetheless, pretty much done what he said he’d do (start bringing troops home, revive the economy after the slowest recovery since the Depression, nominate conservative SCOTUS justices), a few nobody expected (roll the ball farther toward peace in the middle east than any president, defeated ISIS), and brought the extreme delusional madness of the left fully out in the open, where (if America is wise) it can be stomped on hard, God willing…

…oh. I get it now.

Not The <I>Babylon Bee</I>

Talking about Hunter Biden’s addiction is mean to addicts.

Do you know what’s really mean to addicts?

Enabling them

Giving a separate justice system to the powerful.

(Notice how NPR “fact checked” the assertion that Biden was kicked out of the Navy? he got an “administrative discharge” – as if he’d have gotten that had he been a kid from Oklahoma…)

Using them as a misapplied political point.

That’s mean to addicts.

Biden Ad – Part 1

Joe Doakes from Como Park emails:

I saw an ad on television. Donald Trump only cares about the stock market. He gave tax cuts to the rich. Joe Biden will fix all that.

Stock market – fat cats – rich people. Yeah, screw ’em. Not like it’ll affect my family at all. Go for it, Joe!

Well, except for that IRA that I had from private practice. And my kid’s 401k. My wife’s Deferred Compensation and Health Care Savings Accounts. Those are all invested in the stock market. And they’re not insured like bank accounts so if the market tanks, they lose everything.

Not me. I’m a government employee. We have defined benefit pensions through Minnesota State Retirement, Public Employees Retirement, or Teacher’s Retirement, all of which are administered by the State of Minnesota and prudently invested in . . . the stock market. Which Biden’s going to tank to punish the rich.

Oh, crap.

Joe Doakes

It’s gotten to the point where you hope Biden’s ads are just chanting points to con the gullible.

No There, There

The question remains: with 85% of downtown workers not working downtown, and at least 10,000 of them never coming back, how much is this article about skyway businesses sodtpedaling the reality?

Steve Cramer, the president and CEO of the Minneapolis Downtown Council, says only 15% of the typical workforce population works downtown right now.

Several businesses in the Skyway are closed at least temporarily due to COVID-19. Cramer couldn’t specify how many.

“We probably will see a few less of those establishments when things kind of bounce back, but when things bounce back, that will create new opportunities for growth so we’re looking for that hopeful day as well,” Cramer said.

In theory, yes – if Governor clink ever “allows“ things to go back to normal, it’s hypothetically true that all those empty skyway store fronts will provide a world of opportunity for the next round of merchants.

Provided, of course, that people come back – that working from home doesn’t gut the commercial real estate market – and that the public safety situation downtown doesn’t keep businesses away

Blue Fragility – State Of The States

The pandemic is beginning its eighth month – and the lockdown is well into seven months of devastation America’s economy, mental health and well-being.

And you’re starting to see Big Left hopping up in down with glee – the case numbers are starting to move upward in “Red” America, justifying their almost onanistic, millenialistic desire to see the infidels pay for their impudence.

But how’s it really going out there?

I took the stats from Worldometers as of October 13th, and broke them down across a few different statistical groupings:

GroupingCovid fatalities per capita as of 10/13, 2020
National average666
“Blue” state average713
Red State average362
“Purple” state average (“red” states with major, usually Democrat-controlled, metro areas)569
States with > 10 milllion population704
States with > 20 million population863
States with <1 million population (all “colors”)354 (307 if you leave out hard-blue Rhode Island)

The Redneck Bloodbath just isn’t happening.

Mere Miles From The Statue Of Liberty

New York law enforcement looking for Jews trying to sneak in a little forbidden prayer:

There are times I think secession is too mild-mannered. It might be time to expel some states from the US, and offer their citizens asylum.

When Making Your Plans For This Evening

Busy night tonight. Here’s what’s going on.

Jason Lewis – Second Amendment Virtual Town Hall. I’ll be MC-ing a virtual town hall with US Senate candidate Jason Lewis at 6PM tonight. You can register for it here.

Every election is important for Second Amendment supporters. But this one is particularly fraught. On the one hand, support for gun rights was growing, perhaps virally, even before the Blue City Plague and the Democrat Riots. The number of undecideds, newbies and leftists who’ve strapped up in the past seven months should change

We Don’t Need No Stinkin’ Debate – After that, join Brad Carlson, the staff of AlphaNews, and me on AM1280 at 8PM for an hour of talk about the latest in MInnesota and national campaign talk, in what has been an amazingly turbulent week.

It’s a good day to be an extrovert!

Blue Fragility: It Never Ends

This is not the Babylon Bee.

“Alternate reality”.

New York still has a per capita death toll triple the national average. New York City’s economy – off Wall Street, anyway – is in the tank. It’s school system is saved from being a shambles only by having been a shambles before the epidemic. Fredo Cuomo and Ratzo DiBlasio spent the last six months playing out petty intra-party political squabbles as New Yorkers died in box lots.

Progressives do, indeed, exist in an “alternate reality”.