SCENE: Mitch BERG is standing in line at a Mexican fast-food joint when Evan Micah BRYAN walks into the store. BRYAN is 23, a 2022 graduate of Macalester with a degree in Political Science, is the Senior Communications Director for the Senate DFL Caucus.
BRYAN: MeRG.
BERG: Uh, hey…
BRYAN: ZOMGConServaTiveZ aRe tEh HiCks aND ruBEz wHo aRe aFRAID of tEH ciTIes.
BERG: As a conservative who lives in the Midway, I refute you.
BRYAN: HeEre iS TeH PrOOf ZOMG!
BERG: Its a photomeme.
BRYAN: OuR pHiLoSOphY in tEh DFL CoMMUnICatION oFFiCe iS iF wE du iT inna MeMe, iT’s ReALi-T!
BERG: Which is why your entire communications strategery is to show DFL politicians in an endless stream of selfies, and lots of end-zone ball-spiking, with no substance whatsoever?
BRYAN: No cOMMeNT.
BERG: Right. So – back to the costume. Let me guess – you are, as a DFL employee, a middle class white guy…
BRYAN: tHAT’s hOw I iDenTiFY.
BERG: …who lives in a neighborhood like Marcy-Holmes or Longfellow or Merriam Park
BRYAN: RiGHt. TEH cOOl pLaCes.
BERG: which is clogged with other young-ish single non-profit-industrial complex employees with plenty of money…
BRYAN: sURe.
BERG: You take the Green Line to a concert once or twice a year…
BRYAN: HoW ELsE woUld I fINd SaINT PaUl?
BERG: Sort of a “Fifteen Minute City”, where everything you do – your coffee shop, your grocery mart, your restaurants, your coffee shop, your bars, your restaurants, your transit stop, your coffee shop, your restaurants, your coffee shops, are all within a fifteen minute walk.
BRYAN: TeH wAY tEH wHOLe worLd sHouLD bE!
BERG: Where all the workers take the bus or drive hoopties in from Richfield or New Hope or Vadnais Heights.
BRYAN: yEp…ER, wUt?
BERG: Your “fifteen minute city” is actually an “Urban Life” theme park. But, sure, by all means, progsplain me about city life, junior.
BRYAN: HeY, loOk! MaTt RoZnOwSki iS slAshinG yOuR TirEz ZOMG!
BERG: Of course he is.
And SCENE
Bigman: “So you live in MacGroveland? Where do you shop for groceries?”
Bryan: “Whole Foods, of course.”
Bigman: “Does Whole Foods grow their own in a big garden out back of the store?”
Bryan: “No, of course not. That’d be dirty and messy.”
Bigman: “Then where does Whole Foods get their fresh fruits and vegetables?”
Bryan: “From local farmers, sturdy yeomen working the land.”
Bigman: “And do those farmers bring their produce to the store carried in baskets on their heads as they walk to and from the countryside, or do they drive diesel trucks spewing greenhouse gasses that destroy the planet? And if so, doesn’t that make you an accomplice to mass murder?”
Bryan: “Don’t be ridiculous. I’m sure they ride bicycles.”
Bigman: “So you work in Communications. Electronic, I assume?”
Bryan: “Of course. Only vile Republicans work with Dead Tree media.”
Bigman: “How do you charge your electronic device?”
Bryan: “By plugging it into the wall, duh.”
Bigman: “How does the electricity get into the wall?”
Bryan: “From local linemen, sturdy yeoman working the power lines.”
Bigman: “And where do those power lines get their power?”
Bryan: “From wind and sun, free gifts from Gaia, the All-Mother.”
Bignam: “So what do you do when the sun’s not shining and the wind’s not blowing? Does that put you out of business?”
Bryan: “Don’t be ridiculous. I have a lipstick backup battery.”
^ And these are the people who are causing a mad exit for the doors to FL, NC, SC, and TX.
Boston Scientific plans new $170M campus in Maple Grove
https://www.startribune.com/boston-scientific-plans-new-170m-campus-in-maple-grove-medtech-twin-cities-real-estate-minneapolis/600292521/
Potemkin Villager for sure.
Emery,
Why would Boston Scientific build a whole campus in Maple Grove when there is already plenty of vacant space in Downtown Minneapolis?
And an honest question because of the Strib paywall; is this planned campus a sure thing or are they announcing plans as part of a strategy to ask for special tax breaks or they’ll build it somewhere else?
Mitch,
This is to advise you that you’ve been reported to the DFL House Caucus HR department for your cyber bullying of a fictional, DFL Senate Caucus employee.
SSC, unless there’re some i’s or t’s that need to be dotted or crossed, the “campus” is a done deal. The city is giving them tax-incentive financing, the state is giving them an easily forgivable loan, and the land is that useless spread just east of the Hemlock exit on 94. There’s another “campus” right around the corner on Weaver Lake Rd.
Why would Boston Scientific build a whole campus in Maple Grove when there is already plenty of vacant space in Downtown Minneapolis?
Some office space, but most of the site is planned for manufacturing.
Having said that, it’s a threadjack.
Leftists can’t meme.
Good memes mock by exaggerating real traits. Their purpose is to rally one’s compatriots and demoralize the enemy, so effective memes are immune from being turned against the memeist.
Leftist memes fail in all respects….
“Saw that thing on the news.”
Which thing is that, bro? Pick one for me, bro…
https://finance.yahoo.com/news/30-u-cities-highest-murders-142655766.html
“Too many of “those people” there.”
Bro, are you referring to savage blacks, or your crew? Your call, bro.
“Can’t park Ford Super Duty”
LMAO…No, bro. You can’t park your shitty little Kia.
“Not scared bro”
Right…and neither are the kids, bro. What’s your point?
“South Carolina Boy, 13, Fatally Shoots Burglar, Scares Off Second Suspect: Police”
One of the things lefty are blind to is that the least expensive product is almost always the product that requires the least amount of resources to create & bring to market.
Hey rAT!
“Minnesota’s Fading Fortunes
Concerns grow as the state loses more Fortune 500 headquarters.”
“Forbes ranked Minnesota 15th best for overall business climate in 2016. But the Tax Foundation ranked it as fifth worst in the nation in terms of business tax climate; TCB’s analysis of tax migration in April 2016 found billions of dollars in taxable income—and the business leaders generating it—are leaving the state due to its tax policies. The Ewing Marion Kauffman Foundation ranked the Twin Cities 38th among 40 large metro areas for its startup activity.”
I guess the word hasn’t reached HaCK.
Hey rAT!
HAcK has a population of around 500.
Within that tiny population, there are 5 registered sex offenders!
Searching for Sex Offenders in 56452 Hackensack, MN
Top Offenses:
Second-Degree Sexual Assault of a Child
REGISTERED AS A RESULT OF OUT-OF-STATE CONVICTION
Third-Degree Sexual Assault
First-Degree Sexual Assault of a Child
ISP9999 – FELONY CONVICTION AFTER 7/1/2011
Which one is you, rAT?
Why does tiny HaCK have it’s own methadone treatment center, rAT?
What a shithole!
Civilized people are scared of cities for the same reason people are scared of the plague.
No one wants to live in a fetid, disease ridden shithole.
Having said that, it’s a threadjack
jdm hangs his head in shame.
The Emery Collective refutes itself. The new cpus is NOT going downtown where employees can experience vibrantly diverse activities such as armed robbery and carjackings, but to the suburbs which still have a ‘small town’ attitude toward vibrantly diverse actions.
Aldean was right, eh fellows?
jdm hangs his head in shame.
Not you doing the threadjacking, good sir. I bit on it too, because I work in med device and BSC’s activities are of interest to me. As an aside, I only mess with the troll’s nefarious activities when I know Mitch doesn’t have the bandwidth to deal with it.
Here’s a nice knockdown for you Tom — right down the lake from me on the south shore. We can be neighbors…
200’ of lakeshore on Ten Mile Lake
https://www.edinarealty.com/homes-for-sale/4055-forseman-point-drive-nw-hackensack-mn-56452-6386540
Another interest rate hike to combat hyperinflation coming, highest rates in 22 years, should do wonders for home sales. Gotta love that Let’sgo Brandon economy.
rAT! What kind of incredible moron pays that for a miserable little shack on a weedy little pond, with this within an 8 mile radius:
Second-Degree Sexual Assault of a Child
REGISTERED AS A RESULT OF OUT-OF-STATE CONVICTION
Third-Degree Sexual Assault
First-Degree Sexual Assault of a Child
ISP9999 – FELONY CONVICTION AFTER 7/1/2011
AND a methadone distribution center in town.
Oh, wait! They wouldn’t.
Because that ridiculous little shack you ferreted out isn’t in HaCK, is it, rAT? It’s not only not near your asbestos sided little fishing shed in HaCKenSAcK, it’s in another town, on the “South shore” of another lake! (200′ of shoreline…lmao)
“We can be neighbors…” LMAO! The neighbor of that shed can watch the neighbor change his underwear. There’s more shoreline than space between shacks!
I bet Tom is rolling around, laughing his ass off! Toddle off now…the slots are hot, hot, hot at the res c@sino.
🤣😂🤡
Big — the US economy is chugging, stock and real estate markets are strong, we can and should afford to raise now and once again in September and hold rates longer. Core inflation is still uncomfortably high, we shouldn’t risk sustained inflation.
Milton Friedman: “long and variable lag”
https://www.marketplace.org/2023/07/24/milton-friedmans-long-and-variable-lag-explained/
Forget the economy, rAT. Show is some more “prime lake front real estate” in HaCk…or 10-25 miles away. Be sure they have that impressive 200′ shoreline!
LMMFAO! 😂🤣🤡
Just occurred to me that rAT is the “Cramer” of SiTD! lol!
https://www.census.gov/construction/nrs/current/index.html
Even the Lesko Brandon administration concedes home sales are down. Rate hikes will bring them down worse. It’s crashing, guys and wishful thinking can’t stop it.
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Hey rAT!
Here’s another knockdown for me!
Yeah, it’s not just down the shore from me…hell its not even on the same lake as me, but its a bigger house, and costs more than mine will when finished, so I’ll be jealous and impressed with shit I don’t own and that has nothing to do with me.
https://www.zillow.com/homedetails/241-Coggins-Shore-Rd-Inman-SC-29349/88002125_zpid/
The writings of Emerus the Collectivist, a consortium of anonymous scribblers in the late days of the Roman Empire, are eerily familiar.
In 376, they wrote: “Those who claim our Eastern brothers, the Goths fleeing the Huns, are an unmanageable invasion which will overwhelm our economy and destroy our peaceful polity, are clearly hateful racists.”
In 444, they wrote: “The throne has never been stronger, Rome has never been more powerful, and the thunder you hear on the horizon is Attila quaking in his boots in fear. Rome will never lose a single inch of the empire to him.”
On September 3, 476, they wrote: “Those who claim our Glorious Emperor is senile and that Rome wields negligible military or financial power over the scattered remains of our empire are deluded fascists. The Roman economy has never been stronger and the Empire is well positioned to last another thousand years.”
Emery says—-“Big — the US economy is chugging, stock and real estate markets are strong,”
I guess Emery doesn’t read the news about the cratering commercial real estate markets in big Dem lead cities. Owners are walking away from their debt leaving it in the hands of the lucky banks. This, Emery, will not end well.
When I hear an engine “chugging” it’s usually because of bad valves, worn out spark plugs, and by a driver with the pedal down to the floor trying to get enough rpms to get over the top of the hill (or the next quarterly report). It’s usually accompanied by cloud of smoke from burning oil.
So, yeah, I’d say our economy is chugging. I’d prefer humming but, as they say, “you’re mileage may vary.”