SCENE: Mitch BERG is shopping for chainsaw chains at MENARDS. He sees Garth MULLER, a professional golf pro and Vice Chair for Ideological Purity at the Minnesota 5th CD Libertarian Party. He is dressed head to toe in Minnesota Vikings wear.
MULLER: Hey, Merg! People who pledge allegiance to Skycloth before football games are no better than Nazis who sieg-heiled along with Hitler.
BERG: “Pledge allegiance to Skycloth? What are you talking about?”
MULLER: The American flag, and the miltaristic ritual of standing for the national anthem before NFL games.
BERG: Before what?
MULLER: NFL games.
BERG: That’s what I thought you said. I don’t stand to pledge allegiance to the government. I do it out of respect for what this nation is supposed to be about. And other than some community opprobium, there’s really no consequence for not standing for the anthem.
MULLER: But all the fuss about Kapernick and the other people taking a knee…
BERG: I don’t really care. Let ’em. It costs nobody anything.
But – that team you support?
MULLER: Go Vikes!
BERG: Yeah – if I decide not to pay my part of the taxes for “The People’s Stadium”, and carry the protest on long enough, men with guns will beat down my door and take the money. To pay for your recreation, sixteen Sundays a year.
So – “Skycloth”, consequence-free observance of an ideal.
Your NFL game? My money being taken from me by force. Which is either theft or slavery.
BERG: I know. Principle.