Transit Is Painless
By Mitch Berg
SCENE: Mitch BERG is mowing his lawn. Avery LIBRELLE, fresh from a trip on the Green Line ,ambles up the sidewalk.
LIBRELLE: Hey, Merg! Societies that impose punitive taxes on cars, like Denmark, Sweden and the Netherlands, all have higher qualities of life than the US does!
BERG: OK. So?
LIBRELLE: So we could do with fewer cars!
BERG: Correlation does not equal causation.
LIBRELLE: What are you talking about?
BERG: All three of those countries have higher suicide rates than the United States. Clearly high taxes and lack of cars make people want to kill themselves.
LIBRELLE: Why do you hate science?
And SCENE
July 16th, 2015 at 8:12 am
And higher gun ownership percentage leads to more suicides.
July 16th, 2015 at 11:34 am
jpa, really? I seem to recall that Japan with very low private gun ownership has much higher suicide rates. They just use blades more.
July 16th, 2015 at 1:41 pm
I think proximity to “Abba” might have something to do with that suicide rate. Either that, lutefisk, or surstromming. It’s science.
I think JPA was joking. No way he moved to Texas if he’s afraid of guns.
July 16th, 2015 at 2:17 pm
My sarcasm meter broke last week.
July 16th, 2015 at 2:24 pm
I wasn’t being sarcastic at all.
July 16th, 2015 at 4:15 pm
Loren, I was trolling for emerytheantisemiticsoci@list turd with his own meme and caught you. Bad jpa, bad!